


let's pretend (you're mine)

by saltzpen



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, i couldn't decide between fwb fake dating or enemies to lovers so i did them all, if you don't like slow burn probs fuck off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2020-07-19 22:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 75,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltzpen/pseuds/saltzpen
Summary: It starts with a little lie. A simple "I'm seeing someone" to get Lizzie off of her case. But when Lizzie announces her engagement, the lie becomes Josie's life-raft. Now "someone" is none other than Penelope Park - and Josie is stuck pretending she's in love with the one person in this world that she might actually hate.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s a Friday night in downtown DC; for Josie Saltzman, this means a busy bar, endless tables of increasingly drunk twenty-somethings to serve, and not breathing until at least the early morning as she pretends that ensuring other people have a good night is just how she likes to spend her weekend.

It’s not that Josie hates her job. Quite the opposite, actually. For all the shit that comes with being a waitress at a dive bar, there comes the fun side, too. Customers are usually easy-going, the live music is great, and tips are generous. She gets to work with her best friend, MG, and the majority of her co-workers are great.

All but one, that is. And that ‘one’ just happens to be the bartender that Josie is most often stuck closing with.

And you see, Josie has never disliked many people in her life. But she thinks Penelope Park might have been put on this Earth purely to make up for that.

“I need Table 24’s drinks.” Josie huffs, dropping her serving tray onto the bar-top.

Penelope glances up for only a moment, grabbing the ticket that must belong to Table 24 and waving it at Josie, “They’re coming.” She says flippantly, and then she turns back to the excited group of punters across the bar from her, “Another round, boys?”

Josie’s temper rises as the group eagerly agrees and Penelope starts lining up shot glasses, “It’s a beer and a water, Penelope. It literally takes a second and they’ve been waiting ten minutes.”

“And I’m sure they can wait a bit longer.” Penelope smiles falsely over at Josie, grabbing a bottle of tequila from the well in front of her and leaning over the bar to pour the line of shots – definitely providing the customers a more generous view of her cleavage than necessary, “They’ll probably be nursing that _one beer_ for the rest of the night, anyway.”

“Can you _please_ just do your job?”

Penelope laughs, pocketing the cash one of the men places on the bar top as he and his friends begin divvying out their shots. Unsurprisingly, Penelope takes one for herself, “What do you _think_ I'm doing, Princess?”

Josie glares at her as Penelope tosses back the shot, “You’re impossible.” she walks behind the bar, Penelope looking over her shoulder with a frown as Josie begins to get the order herself.

“I’m sorry, are you a bartender now?” Penelope sounds annoyed, which makes Josie the slightest bit happier.

Josie finishes pouring the beer, placing it and the glass of water on her tray, “Well one of us has to be.”

She storms off before Penelope can get another word in – something Josie’s had to learn to do simply so that she actually gets her job done instead of fighting with Penelope all shift. Usually, she tries her best to get her tickets to whatever other bartender is working, but it’s always only a matter of time until Penelope does _something_ bait her into an argument.

Tonight, they’re closing together again, and when the end of shift grows nearer, Penelope is taking shots with a fresh group of customers like she plans to keep them here until dawn.

And sure, Penelope’s antics bring customers in; what twenty-something doesn’t love a hot bartender who’s willing to flirt and drink with you all night? Josie just wishes she could do so with even the slightest measure of responsibility. Although apparently their manager couldn’t give less of a shit about how Penelope conducts herself, so long as profits continue to spike on the nights she’s bartending.

“Last call, Penelope.” Josie warns as she carries a tray of dirty glasses behind the bar; tonight, she accepted defeat earlier than usual - around when Penelope started arranging body shots on the bar top.

Penelope doesn’t even look at her, just drawls out a, “I heard you the first time, Mom.” Back before she returns to flirting with the group across from her.

Josie rolls her eyes, beginning to load the glasses into the pressure washer under the bar. The band has gone by now, along with the other bartender, the rest of the serving staff having left when kitchen closed an hour ago. MG, who has also finished his shift, sits perched on the other side of the bar, a drink in hand and keeping Josie company with idle conversation while she makes work for herself until closing time.

“So, who do you think’s won The Bachelorette tonight?” MG says, grinning over at where Penelope is laughing exaggeratedly at something one of her admirers has said.

Josie rolls her eyes at the scene, returning to her task, “I honestly couldn’t care less.”

How MG is friends with the both of them, she’ll never understand.

“Man, I need to up my game.” MG sighs, “You think she’d teach me how she does it?”

“Please _don’t_ take dating advice from Penelope Park.”

MG shrugs, “Whatever she’s doing, it works.”

Josie doesn’t respond to that, just scowls over at Penelope and starts polishing glasses.

It’s a while before the final customers leave the bar; despite their last drinks being long finished, they linger in pursuit of further flirtations with Penelope. When Josie’s about to end their fun herself, Penelope _finally_ encourages them to head on their way.

“You know last call is supposed to mean they leave _after_ their last drinks, right?” Josie comments irritably when the door shuts behind the last patron.

Penelope shrugs, completely unapologetic , “It’s called being a good host.”

“Don’t you think it’s kind of selfish to hold your co-workers up just so you can keep flirting?”

"Oh, no, am I keeping you from your Glee marathon back home?"

"I don't watch Glee-"

"What, is it too much fun for you?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me–"

MG groans, "Are you guys really about to argue about _Glee_ now?"

Penelope grins over at MG, then looks back to Josie, "Like twenty-minutes _really_ changes things when it’s this late.”

"That's not the point." Josie bites out.

“If you’re that desperate to go, be my guest. I can close up by myself. Finishing my night without a headache actually sounds nice.”

Josie sends Penelope a glare, to which Penelope only responds with a scowl.

“On that note, I’m out.” MG declares, finishing the last drop of his beer and letting out a satisfied sigh, “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Aw, come on, MG.” Penelope pouts, “Stay. Have a drink with me when we’re done.”

MG laughs, “With how long you two have before this place is cleaned? I’ll pass.” He shoots his beer bottle into the bin behind the bar, “Try not to kill each other, yeah?”

“No promises.” Josie mutters, and she offers MG a small wave before he goes.

The one good thing about Penelope, is that when she _does_ work, she and Josie work well together. They’re usually able to get out of the bar quickly after close, and without having to step on one another’s toes trying to do such.

Penelope blasts music and they work in silence, Penelope cleaning the bar while Josie gets to work on the floor.

Nearly an hour later, Josie’s sat at the bar, settling up the float and the takings from the night, when Penelope finishes her own share of the tasks. She glances over to where Penelope is crouching down to open one of the fridges; her shirt rides up, and Josie’s eyes linger on the bare skin of her back, on the hint of the ending of a tattoo that, under the shirt, continues up Penelope’s spine. Something stirs in Josie that she’s trying to learn to ignore, and she snaps her gaze back to the money in front of her when Penelope stands up.

“Almost done?” Penelope asks, oblivious as she walks back around the bar.

Josie doesn’t look at her, “You can leave, if you want.” She mutters out, layering her words with annoyance.

Penelope provides an answer in the uncapping of her beer, and Josie can see her approaching out of the corner of her eye. She ignores when Penelope comes to stand at her side; but she fails not to stiffen at how unnecessarily close Penelope is, leaning against the bar-top and sipping from her beer as she watches Josie, her silence somehow deafening. 

Josie makes a point of finishing counting the bills in front of her before she gives in and obliges Penelope with eye contact, “ _What?_ ” she snaps.

A smirk tugs at Penelope’s lips, but she says nothing.

Then she places a pile of cash in front of Josie.

Josie looks at it, eyes narrowing, “What’s that?” she says apprehensively, sure whatever Penelope’s game is, she won’t like it.

“The tips I made while I apparently _wasn’t_ doing my job tonight.” She says, “How’d you go with Table 24?”

“Let’s not pretend you made that for being a good bartender.”

Penelope scoffs, “It’s the service industry. Being good with people is kind of part of the job.”

“Right. And I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that you give out your number with every drink.”

“Not _every_ drink, JoJo. I do have standards.”

Josie rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to the takings book in front of her.

“My point is,” Penelope continues anyway – because apparently, she can’t get enough of the sound of her own voice, “We’re working minimum wage. No one’s handing out medals for how fast you serve your guests their free water.” She drawls, “It doesn’t hurt to be smart about who you prioritise.”

Josie finishes off the takings record just in time to get herself away from Penelope’s imposing presence, pushing her seat out from the bar and brushing forcefully past her, “Can’t you go and annoy one of those customers you spend the night flirting with?” she throws over her shoulder as she walks behind the bar to where the safe is stowed, “I’m sure they’d appreciate your company.”

She crouches down, tosses the takings bag and book into the safe and locks the door behind it, hearing Penelope’s laugh.

“I’m sure they would.” Penelope says.

Josie rises and of course, Penelope is already looking at her, sat on a bar stool and fingers tapping against the beer bottle in her hand, wearing a knowing expression that feels unsettlingly invasive. Josie doesn’t give her the pleasure of biting at the bait – she glares back at Penelope, and she’s faced with a stalemate that is becoming all too habitual now.

“Do you _want_ me to leave?” Penelope prompts eventually.

And Josie should be capable of saying yes to that.

Three months ago, she would have. But three months ago, she hadn’t drunkenly fallen into bed with the girl at a work party. Three months ago, she hadn’t continued doing so against all of her better judgment.

“I _want_ you to shut-up for once in your life.” she says as she rounds the bar once more.

Penelope turns on the barstool, eyes following Josie.

And Josie doesn’t even understand how she’s fallen into this trap. Because she truly can’t stand Penelope. Honestly hates her. Yet here Josie is, anyway, feet betraying her and carrying her towards Penelope.

Penelope tilts her head, amused as ever as Josie comes to a stop in front of her. This time, she’s the one breaching personal space, her thighs pressing against Penelope’s knees.

“Well if that’s what you want,” Penelope’s eyes drag down Josie’s body, taking their time in meeting her gaze again, “Why don’t you make me?”

Penelope barely even looks fazed by Josie’s presence, expression cool as she takes a swig from the bottle in her hand, green eyes remaining on Josie’s. She’s so _arrogant_ – a trait their customers seem to fall over themselves for – a trait Josie can’t stand. Josie takes the bottle from Penelope’s hand, placing it on the bar top behind her.

“If you’re going to deprive me of a drink at least–”

Josie’s hand captures Penelope’s jaw and she leans down to seize her lips in a kiss; hard and harsh, swallowing the gasp Penelope lets out as she presses forward. Penelope’s hand finds the back of Josie’s neck, her body curving into Josie’s as she’s pressed back against the bar.

And Penelope is kissing her back and Josie can feel the smirk on her lips, and Josie can’t _stand_ her arrogant, selfish co-worker but _God,_ she’s a good kisser.

"I still hate you." Josie breathes out against Penelope's lips, all while Penelope's hands make work of the buttons of her jeans.

Penelope laughs, kisses her like she's trying to leave a mark, "The feeling's mutual, Princess." her hand dips beneath the waist of Josie's jeans, teeth dig into Josie's bottom lip. 

And Josie can't find many more words after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chap setting up the fic for now. I'm trying to stay ahead on chapters so I won't take forever between updates - as any of you who have read my other fics will know often happens lmao. Guess we'll see how I go! I was planning a semi-sequel to UTM but this is just a fun fic that's been in my head lately so I'm rolling with it. Any and all comments are appreciate :)
> 
> Find me at @saltzpen on twitter if you need to hound me.


	2. Chapter 2

Josie wouldn’t say she’s made the best life choices of late – Penelope Park being the most prominent example of that.

But it’s a Tuesday night when she makes what might be her stupidest one yet.

“ _Fuck_.” Josie breathes out, hips rising towards the head between her legs, whining in frustration when Penelope’s hands force her hips back down to the couch, “I swear to God, Penelope if you don’t–” Penelope does something with her tongue and Josie thinks she goes blind for a moment, a sharp cry leaving her as her fingers dart down to tangle in Penelope’s hair, “ _Okay_ – that’s–” she feels Penelope laugh against her, and if she weren’t caught up in the sensation, she’d hit her for being so smug.

Truly, Josie never _plans_ to spend her nights like this; but it’s becoming worryingly habitual for any moment she experiences the slightest amount of stress. Because yeah, while it’s not exactly great giving Penelope the ego boost of jumping into bed with her, it’s a convenient arrangement.

No strings attached. No need for pretending either of them is here for anything other than sex. Josie thinks people should sleep with the enemy more often, to be honest. At least there’s no risk of hurt feelings if you never even liked each other to begin with. 

Of course, part of the convenience of this thing has been no one knowing about it. So, Josie should really do more when there’s a knock at her door while she has Penelope’s head between her legs.

“Don’t stop.” She orders Penelope – who doesn’t seem to have planned to do anything of the sort, anyway.

She forgets, in the midst of her impending orgasm, that she didn’t even lock her apartment door when she greeted Penelope earlier. The reminder of such comes in the form of the door slamming open, and the glimpse of her twin sister’s blonde hair has Josie yelping in surprise, nearly kneeing Penelope in the face as she attempts to scramble away from her.

Penelope looks at her with a disgruntled expression, oblivious, “What the fuck–” she’s cut off by the shirt Josie throws in her face.

Lizzie is making a beeline for the kitchen, not even registering the voice that doesn’t belong to Josie, or the half-naked Penelope on the couch, “I am _so_ fucking hungry.” She groans, “Please tell me you have something to eat.”

Josie has snatched her jeans up from the floor, attempting to pull them up her legs, her and Penelope thankfully shielded from Lizzie by the back of the couch, “Lizzie, you can’t just walk in like that!” she exclaims, out of breath.

Lizzie yanks the fridge open, beginning her rummage, “What? I knocked. And I _told_ you I was coming over.”

Josie’s eyes widen, and she remembers that Lizzie had, indeed, provided such notice. Josie had just been too preoccupied with ripping Penelope’s clothes off to really acknowledge the text flashing on her phone screen.

“What’s the big deal, anyway?” Lizzie finally decides to actually look over at her sister then, and consequentially, discovers Penelope’s presence, “ _Oh_.”

Josie sees Lizzie’s eyes flicker between them, from their messy appearances to Penelope’s jeans, which are still hanging over the back of the couch. Josie makes a grab for them, blindly shoving them into Penelope’s hands as her sister’s expression now turns into one of complete amusement.

“Well. You could have just said you had someone over.”

Penelope seems to relax at Lizzie’s reaction, a smug smile tracing her lips as she turns to Josie, “Is this some attempt to get a threesome out of me? Because you really didn’t have to go with the dramatics.” 

Josie gapes, “She’s my _sister_ you creep.” She hisses out.

“I thought you only had a twin.”

“Non-identical.” Lizzie says offhandedly, watching Penelope with utmost curiosity, “So, you’re the girlfriend, huh?”

Penelope’s eyes widen to a comically large size, flicking back to Josie, “I’m the _what_ –”

Josie cuts her off, “Is there a reason you decided to break into my apartment?”

“It’s not breaking in if you left the door unlocked.” Lizzie says, “And yes, there is a reason, my _darling_ sister. You’ve been neglecting your duties as my Maid of Honor and the engagement party is two weeks away.”

It hits Josie just what she’s forgotten now, and she groans, “The venue meeting.”

“Mmhmm.” Lizzie, to her credit, is yet to go bridezilla, “I was stuck at work, so I had to send Hope to go meet with them, and you _know_ how bad she is with those things. She thinks our wedding binder is like, a collection of ‘suggestions’ that she can deviate from. If we end up with fucking freesias at the engagement party, I’m blaming you.” 

The wedding binder that Lizzie is referring to, is the three-volume collection of wedding plans that Lizzie has compiled since they were six years old. Any attempts to change said plans so far have ended in a swift shut-down from a stubborn Lizzie.

“I mean, it _is_ her wedding, too. Maybe it’s not so bad for Hope to do some of the organising solo.” Josie says, moreso in an attempt to alleviate her own guilt.

“Freesias _are_ ugly.” Penelope says, as though her contribution is at all warranted right now, and she receives a glare from Josie in response.

Lizzie nods in agreement, “Exactly. And I love her, but Hope would happily get married at the courthouse if I let her. She can’t be trusted alone.” She sighs, looks at Penelope for a moment, “I like you.” She decides, “Who exactly _are_ you?”

Penelope smirks over at Josie, clearly enjoying this, “Penelope.”

“Well, nice to finally meet you, Penelope. I’d shake your hand, but… well. You know.” Lizzie makes a face, and Penelope actually _laughs_ , “Josie’s been so weird about not letting us meet you, I was expecting her girlfriend to be some hideous monster.”

Penelope pauses again, looking completely confused.

“You’re coming to the engagement party, right?” Lizzie asks.

“Uh…”

“She’s busy. I told you.” Josie chimes in, desperately hoping Penelope doesn’t decide to correct Lizzie’s assumption and make this entire situation more awkward than it already is.

“Come on, who can’t get a night off for an engagement party? You _have_ to meet our mom, she hated Josie’s ex so you’re already off to a good start.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Penelope says, surprising Josie and playing along, “I- uh… I need to go, though, so. It was nice meeting you.”

Lizzie’s completely oblivious to the constant bewildered looks Penelope keeps sending Josie, and enthusiastically bids her a goodbye as Penelope gets up from the couch.

“I’ll– um…” Penelope steps over to Josie, and Josie has to stop herself from recoiling in shock when Penelope leans in to kiss her cheek, green eyes meeting Josie’s when she moves back, “I’ll talk to you later?”

Josie can see all the questions in Penelope’s gaze, and she nods dumbly, swallows hard, “Yep. Later.” She agrees, already dreading when said time arrives.

Lizzie watches Penelope go, looking thrilled and turning to Josie when the door shuts behind her, “Isn’t she the hot bartender from your work?”

“We work together, yeah.” Josie answers.

“I thought you hated her.”

Josie has to stop the ‘I do’ from falling from her lips, and she shrugs.

“Well hey, I’m just glad you’re finally putting yourself out there again.” Lizzie has retrieved leftover pasta from Josie’s fridge, and is working her way through it like it’s her last meal – which isn’t too far from the truth. Her diet for the wedding starts next week, after all.

“So now that I know she’s actually real, can I just say – thank _fuck.”_ Lizzie continues, “I mean, I know your feelings for Hope are way in the past but the thought of you watching me marry her while you were single was seriously killing the mood.”

Josie struggles not to let her smile falter, stomach twisting, “I mean, it wouldn’t really matter if I _were_ single. That was literally a childhood crush.”

And okay, that might be an understatement; but she’s not about to tell Lizzie that. 

“I love you and Hope together, you know that.” Josie adds, and at least _that_ isn’t a lie. They’re perfect for each other and sure, Josie might sometimes wonder what it would have been like if Hope had fallen for her instead, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s happy that they found each other.

“Yeah, I know. But still. It’d be weird.” Lizzie shrugs, oblivious to the shame she’s loading up on her sister, “The last thing I need on my wedding day is to be feeling guilty thinking I ‘stole’ my wife from my sister.”

“Hope and I were never together. You didn’t ‘steal’ her from anyone.” Josie pauses, “Well, maybe from Landon.”

“That was community service. Besides, you’re not Landon. It’s different.”

“Right.” Josie sighs, and for the umpteenth time in her life, regrets ever telling Lizzie that she harboured feelings for the loner heiress that arrived at their boarding school when they were ten.

“Anyway, none of that matters now that you’ve bagged yourself Penelope.”

Josie purses her lips and contemplates telling her sister the truth. It’s just the problem is, this lie started long before tonight. It _had_ just been a convenient way of getting Lizzie off her back about her dating life. Josie told her she was dating someone, and she’d finally been able to enjoy family dinners again without the constant poking and prodding over her perpetual single status. You see, things get… weird when your sister starts dating your first love.

First there’s anger, then there’s jealousy, and then there’s the constant hope that the relationship will end and you can return to how things used to be with each other, when Hope was simply Josie’s best friend who she’d once had a crush on, and she and Lizzie were only bonded by their shared affections for Josie.

And it feels so petty to have these feelings and none of it makes any sense because Josie had _thought_ she’d moved passed any feelings for Hope long ago but something about her and Lizzie choosing one another changed everything.

And then Lizzie announces they’re engaged, and the lie about Josie’s love life becomes more of a necessity just to save face.

And now she’s _here_ , and Penelope’s been dragged into it, and Josie is just smiling along while Lizzie starts asking questions about her.

And she can’t bring herself to end the lie.

* * *

When Josie walks into the bar the next day, Penelope is already there setting up. She allows herself a small measure of hope that Penelope will drop what happened with Lizzie, but of course, this is Penelope Park.

When Penelope looks up and her eyes find Josie, a deep smirk traces her lips. She doesn’t say anything at first, but the silence might be worse.

Josie tries her best to ignore the tense atmosphere, beginning to pull down chairs and set up the floor for the night ahead while Penelope prepares the bar. She’s just started polishing silverware when Penelope finally speaks.

“You know, usually when you’re dating someone, it’s common courtesy to tell _them_ that.”

Josie closes her eyes, taking a deep, irritated breath, “We’re not dating.”

“Did you tell your sister that?”

Josie hates that she has basically _handed_ Penelope infinite material to taunt her with until the end of time. Really, she should have known nothing good would come out of jumping into bed with the devil herself.

“I didn’t tell her that _we_ are dating. You had nothing to do with it.”

“So why does she think we are?”

“It’s complicated.”

Penelope stares at Josie, wearing an expression that says she has absolutely no intention of dropping this without first getting an explanation.

Josie sighs, and accepts defeat, “Okay, so… my sister can be kind of… intense about things. She’s in this perfect relationship and a while back she got it into her head that it was her job to find me something like that, so she started setting me up on all these blind dates and I just – it was annoying, okay? So, to get her off my back I told her I was dating someone.”

Penelope’s looking at her like she’s grown two heads, “You couldn’t have just told her to back off?”

“Lizzie doesn’t back off. _Ever_.”

“Huh.” Penelope lets out a small laugh, “You know, I never pinned you as the lying type. Kinda goes against that ‘holier than thou’ thing you have going.”

Guilt prickles at Josie, alongside annoyance at _Penelope_ being the one to cause it. And it’s not like she _enjoys_ lying to Lizzie; sometimes it’s just the easiest option, when you have a persistent sister whose latest pet project is your love life.

“It’s not like….” Josie huffs, “Whatever. I don’t have to explain myself to you. Everything was just fine until you ruined it, anyway.”

“ _I_ ruined it?” Penelope snorts, “I’m sorry, should I _not_ go down on you the next time you booty call me? You’re the one who forgot your sister was coming over.”

Josie pauses, “Fine. Whatever.” She mutters out stubbornly, “Either way, it’s ruined and now she thinks I’m dating you instead of a convenient non-existent person who I never have to introduce to her.”

It’s then that Josie gets a text, and her stomach drops when she reads the message from her mother.

**_Just had Lizzie on the phone– can’t wait to meet Penelope at the engagement party!_ **

Josie groans out loud, dropping the knife she’s polishing to the table and rubbing her temple at the pain of the headache immediately raining down on her over the hole she’s dug herself.

She knew this was going to happen the moment Lizzie laid eyes on Penelope. Josie had just hoped she might have more time to figure out options other than the one she came up with.

She allows herself a moment to really _think_ about what she’s signing up for before she speaks. She doesn’t have to do this. She can still bail out somehow; tell Lizzie that they broke up and get rid of the issue all together. But then that means Lizzie will return to attempting to find Josie eternal happiness as some kind of weird attempt to feel less guilty for the fact that she’s marrying Josie’s first love and miles ahead of Josie in just about every other area of life.

It takes all of Josie’s strength to say what she says next.

“…I need your help.”

She looks over to Penelope, who arches a brow, “Continue.”

Josie swallows her pride, and forces it out of her, “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend in front of my family so that they’ll get off my back about being single.”

Penelope stares, confused, “… but you hate me.” There’s no bitterness in the response. Perhaps a bit of amusement; Josie’s disdain for Penelope has never exactly been unspoken between them.

“I do.”

“So… why do you want to date me?”

“I _don’t_ want to date you.” Josie corrects – perhaps a bit too aggressively, “It’s a lie. Just until my sister gets married and I don’t have to go to all these family events as the sad lonely sister anymore.”

“Can’t you just take a friend to those things?”

“No. It’s not like–” Josie huffs, “This is just a weird situation, okay?”

Penelope scoffs, “What, are you in love with the bride or something?”

Josie’s eyes widen, and before she can school her features, Penelope has caught it, “Okay, please tell me it’s the bride that _isn’t_ related to you.”

“I’m not in love with her.” Josie blurts.

“Lizzie or her fiancé?”

“Her fiancé! Well– obviously Lizzie too, but.”

“So, you’re in love with her fiancé.” Penelope laughs, “I thought you were smarter than that.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Josie spits out.

“Now that’s simply not true.” Penelope says, a sly smile tugging at her lips, “How long have you been in love with her?”

“I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Come on, Josephine, we can’t start this relationship without complete honesty.”

“My name isn’t Josephine.”

Penelope grins, shrugs, “Alright, fine. Don’t tell me about your little family soap opera. But if I help you, what’s in it for me?”

“I’m already sleeping with you.”

“Let’s not pretend you don’t get just as much out of that as me.”

“Whatever.” Josie rolls her eyes, “Name your price.”

Penelope thinks – or appears to think – about it for a moment, “See, I just _don’t_ need anything right now.” She says, having too much fun with this.

“There has to be something.”

“There will be. One day.” Penelope agrees, “And when that day comes, you need to follow through.”

“I’m not going to agree to do something without knowing what it is first.”

“I think you’re imagining a lot darker shit than I’ll come up with.”

“And I think I know better than to trust _you_ to not just come up with something horrible to amuse you.”

Penelope grins, “I mean… yeah. True. So where does that leave us?”

Josie almost stomps her foot in frustration, because she’s not exactly in a bargaining position here, and she’s quite literally making a deal with the devil.

“Fine.” Josie huffs, “So long as it’s not something illegal or something that will ruin my life… I’ll do whatever you want.”

Penelope looks too entertained by this entire thing, and Josie prepares for the brutal humiliation. But instead, she laughs, “Alright, sure. Count me in.”

“Wait– really?”

“Well, it _must_ be bad for you to ask _me_ for help, so.” Penelope shrugs, “Anyway, it could be fun. Meeting your family, seeing whether you were born with that stick up your ass or if it’s something that developed later in life.”

Josie sighs, returning to her polishing, “I hate you.” She reminds her.

“Now that’s no way to talk to your girlfriend, _Babe_.”

(Josie’s really, really, going to regret this).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the response to the fic! Chapters will be longer after this one, now that we're starting to actually get into it. If y'all are feeling it lmk with a comment! See you next time for another update :) 
> 
> twitter: saltzpen


	3. Chapter 3

Josie spends the time leading up to the engagement party agonising over just how terrible of an idea of all this really is; she runs through every scenario where things could go wrong, every interaction with family members who she just _knows_ will take one look at Josie and Penelope and call bullshit. And when she starts thinking about the fallout of the lie being exposed, she goes into planning mode over just how to avoid exactly that.

She goes to her Thursday shift, the week before the engagement party, with a game-plan that she just hopes Penelope will entertain. It’s late afternoon when Josie arrives, and Penelope is already outside, a joint between her fingertips as she idly scrolls through her phone.

“Really?” Josie drawls as she approaches her, “Can’t you wait to get high until _after_ your shift?”

Penelope looks up, letting out a soft laugh, “It’s bartending, Princess, not rocket science.” She eyes Josie as she pointedly brings the joint to her lips.

(Josie hates that Penelope somehow manages to look attractive while doing so.)

“Get inside in five.” Josie orders grumpily, accepting defeat and walking past Penelope to the bar’s entrance, “I’m not helping when it’s time to open and you haven’t set up the bar.”

She hears Penelope’s teasing _“Yes, dear.”_ as the doors close behind her, and Josie is halfway through bringing chairs down from tables when Penelope decides to make an entrance.

Excluding the kitchen staff, it’s just them on shift tonight. Usually, Josie would dread such a shift, but being alone with Penelope right now is exactly what she needs, if she wants to make sure they pull this lie off next week.

Penelope looks hungover – probably _is_ hungover, given it was her night off yesterday. She moves sluggishly about behind the bar, looking disinterested as ever as she starts setting up. Josie rolls her eyes when she hears the pop of a bottle cap being removed, unsurprised when she looks over to see Penelope lifting a beer to her lips.

Penelope notices Josie’s judgmental stare and just shrugs, returning to where she’d begun slicing fruit for garnishes.

Josie bites her tongue to stop from making a comment, reminding herself that she actually needs Penelope to be cooperative today. Instead, she waits to choose her moment to strike.

“We should talk about the engagement party.” Josie says when she notices Penelope’s mood beginning to pick-up.

Penelope doesn’t look up from the chopping board, “What about it?”

“Well, we should prepare.”

Penelope snorts, “What’s there to prepare for? We show up, you convince your family that for some reason, I wanted to date someone whose favorite past time is nagging me, maybe we hold hands to bring it home…” she waves the knife around as she speaks, and shrugs, “Sounds easy enough to me.”

Josie chooses to ignore the insult for once, “No one will believe we’re together if we don’t know anything about each other.”

“Tell that to half the straight population of the world.” Penelope looks up, rolling her eyes at Josie’s glare, “Look, I know you, okay?

“No, you know _some things_ about me, and you’re not going to be talking about our sex life with my family.” A smirk traces Penelope’s lips – and for the thousandth time, Josie curses herself for ever letting this woman see her naked, “You need to know about other things.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know – things people know about their girlfriends. My favorite flower… whether I’m a dog or a cat person.”

“Easy. Daisies, and you’re a dog person.”

That throws Josie off, and she looks at Penelope with a puzzled expression.

“What?” Penelope shrugs, like it’s nothing, “I’m observant. You always have daisies in your apartment, and every time a person brings a service dog in here you practically have a meltdown over not being able to touch it.”

Josie decides not to linger on the fact that Penelope’s apparently not as oblivious to her existence as she’d thought. Because doing _that_ won’t do either of them any good. “Right. Well… I don’t know anything about you, _so_.”

“What do you want to know?”

“… how do you like your coffee?”

“Black.”

Josie scoffs, “Of course.”

“If we’re talking about things we need to work on before the engagement party, you might want to try being nicer to me.” Penelope points out.

“I’ll work on it.”

“Just do it while you do your job, though. I can’t pull all the weight.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “I’m going to assume that’s a joke for your sake.”

She doesn’t wait around for Penelope’s response, escaping to the backroom before the girl can taunt Josie into a pre-shift argument about how much (or how little) work Penelope actually does around the place.

* * *

It’s a busy shift, but Josie attempts to throw pieces of information about her family to Penelope in the rare moments that she’s not running between tables.

“So your mom’s married to Stefan and Stefan’s brother’s married to… your step-sister?” Penelope says as she prepares the drinks for one of Josie’s tables.

“Kind of.” Josie shrugs, leaning against the bar, “I mean– my dad was a father-figure to her, yeah. But she’s more like… an aunt.”

“So, there’s Bonnie, Elena, Stefan, Damon, Jeremy…”

“And Tyler.”

“Right. And none of these people are _actually_ your aunts and uncles?”

“No.”

“And your mom isn’t biologically related to you, so I _shouldn’t_ mention how much she looks like your sister.”

“Exactly.” Josie nods, “You’re getting it.”

Penelope groans, and instead of passing over the glass of whiskey for Josie’s table, she brings it to her lips and tosses it back, “I don’t think I’ll _ever_ get it.”

Josie rolls her eyes as Penelope pours a fresh glass, “It’s confusing. No one will really think it’s weird if you lose track.”

“Then _why_ are you making me learn all of this?”

“Because girlfriends generally care to at least try to know the family members of the girl they love.”

“Oh, are we in love now?”

Josie’s cheeks redden despite herself, and she adds the new glass of whiskey to the rest of the order on her tray, “I think that might be getting a little _too_ far-fetched with the lie, so let’s go with ‘we’re not there yet’.”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty loveable.”

“Now _that’s_ funny.” Josie says, “Keep that sense of humor for the engagement party.”

Penelope flips her off as Josie takes her tray and heads back to her tables.

Later, when the bar doors close on the last customer and they’ve cleaned up the place, instead of saying goodnight, Penelope swipes up a bottle of whiskey and two glasses and plants herself down in one of the booths, “Alright, Saltzman.” She gestures to the seat opposite her in invitation, “Let’s get this over with so I don’t have to spend every shift this week being driven insane with Family Facts when I could be flirting with people instead.”

Josie hesitates, “Really?”

Penelope grabs the bottle, beginning to pour a glass, “Really. You have until this bottle is empty to tell me everything that you think I need to know to convince everyone that we’re together.”

Josie perches down opposite Penelope, and she reaches to rest her hand over the other glass as Penelope moves to fill it, “I have class tomorrow.”

“Aren’t you an English major?”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m observant, remember?” Penelope drawls, “So, what does an English major even need to go to class for?”

“So one day I can quit this job and never see you again.”

“You have very unrealistic ideas about the job market for writers.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “Well there’s one thing you can bond with my sister about.”

Penelope arches a brow, “Sis doesn’t approve of the career path?”

“She was a poli-sci student. Graduated last year and went straight into a well-paid job – has basically had every minute of her life planned since we were teens. She doesn’t really… get why I didn’t end up the same.”

“Huh.” The bottle is still hovering over Josie’s hand, Penelope watching her pointedly now, “You know, I’m almost certain this process will be easier if we’re both drunk.”

“The last time I got drunk around you, I ended up sleeping with you.”

Penelope grins, looking prouder than she should about the fact, “And that led to you finally getting laid on the regular. Is that such a bad thing?”

“I’m pretty sure that night directly correlates with my downward spiral, so yes. It is.”

Penelope rolls her eyes, and she reaches over, grabbing Josie’s wrist and moving her hand to the tabletop.

(Josie doesn’t like how her body responds to the feel of Penelope’s warm skin on her own)

Penelope pours the glass now, “Hearing about your backstory is going to be mind-numbing enough; the least you can do is not be sober when you tell it.”

“Do I have to drink it straight?”

“Well I’m off shift, so you’re sure as hell not getting a cocktail, Princess.”

Josie sighs, accepting the drink and taking her first sip, and she has a feeling this is going to be a long night.

* * *

Josie tells Penelope just about everything she can think a girlfriend should know about her. Names of friends, dynamics to expect at the party, weird history, everything. She drinks while she does so – if not simply to stop Penelope from consuming an entire bottle of whiskey by herself.

It’s probably the only period of time Josie’s spent with Penelope that hasn’t been forced by their work schedule, or been strictly about getting off with the least amount of actual conversation between them as possible. And surprisingly, Josie doesn’t _hate_ it.

Penelope’s still unbearably arrogant, and every other word out of her mouth is either taunting or egotistic, but somehow, it’s… entertaining.

Josie thinks it is mostly due to the fact that Penelope’s the only person she speaks to like this. The only person who knows a side to Josie that isn’t the smiley, nice-girl archetype that Josie’s been playing into for the majority of her life. There’s a kind of freedom, in spending time with Penelope. Because when you hate someone like Josie hates Penelope, any real desire to keep up appearances is non-existent.

She has no idea what time it is – definitely nearing sunrise – and she’s feeling on the other side of tipsy, moving fast towards completely drunk.

At some point, Penelope has reached over and swiped Josie’s phone from in front of her, and she now scrolls through it as she sips on her drink. There’s a slowness to her movements that tells Josie that Penelope’s also feeling the effects of the whiskey.

“You realise you have the same Instagram aesthetic as a Pinterest mom, right?”

Josie frowns, “A _what_?”

“I mean, seriously.” Penelope makes a face at whatever is on Josie’s phone screen, “Would it kill you to take a picture of something other than a bookstore or a plate of food?”

Josie huffs, “Give that back.” She reaches over to swipe the phone from Penelope, but Penelope pulls it out of reach. She slumps back in her seat in defeat, “I didn’t think there was a wrong way to use Instagram.”

“Trust me: no one cares what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

“And yet they want to see regular pictures of you?”

“I mean… obviously. Have you _seen_ me?” Penelope says, “I’m surprised you even follow my account, considering how much you ‘hate’ me.”

Josie eyes her for a moment, “Why’d you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s not true.”

Penelope laughs softly, “Well it’s kind of hard to hate someone when they get you off as much as I do.”

“No.” Josie shakes her head, “I definitely still hate you.”

“Sure.” Penelope’s not paying attention anymore, eyes on the phone, and then she collects both of their glasses, arranging them in the middle of the table.

“What are you doing?”

“When people are dating, there’s usually at least _some_ evidence of it online.” Penelope hands the phone back to Josie, “Take a picture of our drinks with me in the background.”

“ _Why_?”

“I know you’re perpetually single, but do you really not understand the ‘why’ here?”

Josie sends Penelope a glare before snatching her phone back, reluctantly obeying the order and lining up a picture, handing it back to Penelope when she’s done, “You’re not worried your Instagram admirers will think you’re off the market?”

“Don’t get jealous now, Josie.”

“You’re delusional.”

Penelope grins, finishing up on Josie’s phone, “I find people don’t really care much about obstacles when I’m the goal.” She slides the phone back across the table between them, “There. Subtle evidence that you at actually spend time with me.”

Josie looks down at her phone, finding a new post on her Instagram account; it’s the picture of Penelope’s torso behind their glasses, with Penelope’s account tagged in the image, the caption just a sole heart-eyed emoji.

It isn’t too starkly different to her other posts, which Josie supposes was Penelope’s goal.

“So, when were you adopted?”

Josie frowns, “I’m not adopted.”

“Oh.” Penelope also frowns, “I just thought, with your mom not being biologically related to you guys…”

“I’m not adopted.” Josie repeats, “Mom– Caroline– she just raised us with our dad.”

“Stefan?”

“No.”

Penelope’s frown deepens, “Okay, I’m confused again. I swear you didn’t mention a dad on the scene.”

“I didn’t.” Josie says, and she shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “He won’t be at the party, so… there isn’t much point telling you about him. Anyway, it’s confusing and complicated. You just need to know that Caroline is our mom. I doubt anyone’s going to start asking about our genetic makeup.”

“Right.” Penelope eyes Josie for a moment, but she must decide to let it go, “What’s the endgame here, anyway?” she continues, finger circling the rim of her glass absentmindedly now, “I mean, I’m all for drama, but breaking up a happy couple doesn’t really vibe with my ethos.”

“I don’t want to break them up.” Josie says, and she’s pleasantly surprised by how much the thought upsets her.

“Really?” Penelope sounds like she doesn’t believe her.

“Really. It’s not about… _that_.”

“So, you’re telling me if this Hope chick showed up right now wanting to have sex with you, you’d say no?”

“Does everything have to be about sex?”

Penelope grins, “I don’t know, Josie. Does it?”

Josie doesn’t take the bait, “This isn’t about wanting to be with Hope.” she insists, “I love Lizzie and I love that they’re happy together. It’s just–”

She’s silent for a moment, but then the alcohol fuels her to continue.

“It’s just kind of humiliating, okay?” Josie huffs, “We’re twins; we’ve shared _everything_ since we were kids. But Lizzie has always been one step ahead of me. Growing up, if I ever liked someone, she’d end up with them before I could even _think_ about making a move. And then Hope came into our lives and she and Lizzie hated each other, and I thought finally, maybe this was someone who was just… mine, you know?”

“But then that changed?”

“Obviously.” Josie sighs, falling back into her chair, “I don’t know. It just gets tiring feeling like the charity case.”

“I don’t get why you can’t just tell Lizzie to back off.”

“That’s just what it’s like with siblings. You can’t tell them anything when they think they know what’s best for you.” Josie shrugs, “Don’t you have any?”

Penelope scoffs, “Yeah.” Her eyes drop to her glass, and Josie’s curiosity is piqued.

Which is strange, considering Josie’s never cared to know anything about Penelope past how fast she can get her out of her clothes.

“So… what’s the Park family like?”

Penelope looks visibly uncomfortable, “We’re not close.” She says stiffly, and it’s clear she doesn’t intend on elaborating.

“Come on, I’ve told you things about my family.”

“Yeah, because I need to know those things if I’m about to go to your twin’s engagement party all to convince your family that you’re _not_ in love with the other bride.”

“I’m not in love with her!”

“You’re going to need to be more convincing about that, if you want people to believe we’re together.”

“Yeah, well, _you’re_ going to need to start acting like someone I’d actually date.”

Penelope smiles and Josie already regrets saying it, “Well I’m already someone you’d sleep with, so we can’t be that far off the mark.”

Josie’s too anxious to even entertain her with another quip. She lets out a heavy breath, grabbing her glass and finishing off the remaining whiskey in it. Penelope’s brows rise when she reaches to refill.

“You’re nervous.”

Josie laughs, “Nervous, guilty, you pick.”

Penelope watches her, and to her credit, looks kind of sincere in her concern, “Are you sure you want to go through with it?”

“No.” Josie answers honestly, “I mean, I know I started the lie before this, but… I don’t know. Adding you to the mix makes it more real. I feel like I’m deceiving everyone.”

“You are.”

Josie’s eyes snap to Penelope’s, and a bitter laugh falls from her, “Wow. Thanks for making me feel better about it.”

“I’m not really in the business of giving out false hope.” Penelope shrugs, “At least you know I’ll never lie to you.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

“Well if you wanted a shoulder to cry on, you picked the wrong fake-girlfriend.”

Josie sighs, and that familiar guilt creeps up on her, “Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“Do you really care what _I_ think?”

Josie doesn’t answer – slightly scared that her immediate response isn’t a firm ‘no’.

For some reason, Penelope actually obliges her, “You’re not a bad person just for wanting to make this process easier on everyone. Your methods are… _questionable_.” She allows, a small smile on her lips, “But I don’t think you’re a bad person because of it.”

Josie feels comforted by the response for a moment, but that’s quickly replaced by unease when she realizes she’s receiving comfort right now from _Penelope Park_ , of all people. She decides she likes it better when they’re arguing.

“We should go.” She declares then, wanting to end this as soon as possible, “We’re paid to work here, not drink.”

“Please,” Penelope rolls her eyes, “Dorian doesn’t give a shit what we do, so long as the bar makes money.”

“Still. It’s the rules.”

Penelope looks like she’s going to argue with Josie further, and Josie kind of wants exactly that.

“You know, you were _almost_ fun for a moment there, Saltzman.” She sighs wistfully, rising from her seat.

When they get outside, Josie locks up behind them and turns to find Penelope already lighting a cigarette between her lips.

“You can’t smoke at the party.” Josie says, “I’d never date a smoker.”

Penelope’s lips turn upwards as she pockets her lighter, taking a drag before she responds, “And yet you’ve already done so many _other_ things with one.” She remarks smugly.

The street is practically deserted, but for a few stragglers populating the pizza shop that is almost purely funded by drunk students after a night out. There’s a slight chill to the night air, and Josie pulls her jacket around herself.

“I’m serious.” She says, “You can’t smoke around my family. Lizzie and my mom will end up turning the party into an intervention.”

“Your family really lives out of each other’s pockets, huh?”

“We’re close.”

Penelope chuckles, smoke drifting out from her lips, “Sounds like a nightmare.”

It’s probably the alcohol making her more curious than usual, but Josie has to stop herself from asking about Penelope’s family again, knowing she’ll likely only receive the same stiff avoidance as before.

“Did your ex smoke?” Penelope asks.

Josie turns, frowning at Penelope.

“Your sister mentioned a shitty ex.” Penelope elaborates.

“Oh.” Josie rolls her eyes, “Right. No, he didn’t.”

“So, what made him so shitty?”

“He was just a guy I dated for longer than I probably should have. Pretentious writer type.”

“Like you?”

Josie ignores that, “He wasn’t even that bad. But when your sister’s dating the image of perfection, it’s kind of hard to compete.”

A smirk tugs at Penelope’s lips, “I think I can handle it.”

“Just don’t make my mom like you too much.” Josie warns, “The last thing I need is her harassing me for ‘letting you go’ when I tell her we’ve broken up.”

“Sorry, I can’t make any promises. Parents love me.”

“I highly doubt that.”

Penelope laughs, “And why’s that?”

“Please.” Josie scoffs, her usual restraint absent thanks to the bottle of whiskey, “You’re like, the poster child for players. The smirk gives you away.”

“You think I’m a player?”

“I’ve seen you flirt with anything that moves every single shift since the first day you started working here.”

“And yet you keep falling into bed with me.”

“A habit I’m trying to break, trust me.” Josie groans, running a hand through her hair, “Oh my God, what am I even doing? No one is going to believe that we’re an actual couple.” She mutters.

“I don’t know. I think we have a shot.” Penelope shrugs, “It’s not hard to believe two attractive people are into each other.”

“There’s more to dating than sex.”

“That’s debatable.” Penelope glances to Josie, and rolls her eyes, “Quit stressing, it’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who might be embarrassing themselves in front of their entire family.”

(Josie questions, once again, whether she really should be going through with this.)

Penelope sighs, “Look, the hardest part about looking like an actual couple is getting people to believe that you actually want to fuck each other when you go home together.”

Josie watches as Penelope takes a final drag of her cigarette before dropping it to the ground, pressing the heel of her shoe into the ember. And really, she shouldn’t find her so alluring when she approaches, smoke gliding out from between her lips.

“If you ask me,” Penelope says, and she stops when she’s right in front of Josie, “We have that part covered.”

The constant problem with sleeping with Penelope, is that Josie can’t deny the fact that for all the hate she has for the girl, there’s that strange, unappeasable desire that her body feels when she’s around her. Which isn’t convenient, when this is the exact kind of person Josie _doesn’t_ want to possess any modicum of power over her. But when Penelope’s this close, green eyes reading her with more perceptiveness than Josie is comfortable, lips soft and inviting, Josie finds it hard to find much sense at all.

She’d thought when she’d first fallen into bed with her, that it had been the first and last time. Simply something to get out of her system so Josie could go back to happily hating Penelope without having that irritating pull towards her hanging over her head. Instead, it’s like she just keeps wanting more.

Penelope tilts her head up, lips teasingly stopping short of Josie’s, “There’s always room for improvement, though.”

Josie huffs, eyes inevitably falling to Penelope’s lips, hating that her first instinct is to close the distance, “I’m not kissing you when you’ve just smoked.”

Penelope’s brow arches, and she doesn’t step back immediately. Like she’s testing the fact. Then she rolls her eyes, stepping away from Josie and walking over to the curb, “If you’re asking me to quit for you, I don’t think our relationship’s there just yet.” She drawls, looking down the road.

“ _Would_ you quit for someone?”

“I’m not really the type to do anything for anyone.” Penelope raises her arm, hailing down an approaching cab.

The cab pulls up next to Penelope, and Josie means to let her go. It’s not like she _needs_ whatever this thing is between them. It’s just convenient. Something that she’s happy with or without.

And yet.

“Wait.” Josie sighs, and Penelope just looks back at her smugly, opening the car door and waiting, like she never even doubted how her night was going to end.

Josie’s legs carry her towards Penelope, and Josie can practically see Penelope declaring victory the closer she gets.

She stops just before she gets into the cab, turning back to Penelope, and she reaches to grasp the back of Penelope’s neck and pulls her into a kiss. Just enough to prove her point. Enough to make Penelope want more. Enough to put that dark, desiring look in those green eyes and remind her that Josie’s just as in control here as she is.

She tastes of whiskey and cigarettes and it’s something that would usually have Josie withdrawing from, but her stomach still stirs with infuriating craving. But that’s the thing with Penelope, isn’t it? She’s the complete sum of everything Josie has never wanted in a person, yet she can’t shake wanting her like this.

When Penelope presses back into the kiss more keenly, tongue dipping into Josie’s mouth, Josie pulls back. She takes her own victory in the way Penelope attempts to chase her lips, offers her a smug smile to match before climbing into the backseat of the cab.

They don’t talk any more that night, not past breathy demands and poorly stifled moans. They never agreed on such; but they appear to have the same understanding. That whatever this is risks being ruined the moment they merge who they are with what they’re doing together.

Penelope doesn’t stick around when they’re done. Josie’s barely caught her breath when Penelope climbs out of bed and begins pulling clothes back onto her body. Josie lies there watching as jeans are wrestled back up soft, tanned legs. As a shirt falls over her torso, hiding away the collection of tattoos that litter the skin there. Tattoos Josie’s never taken the time to investigate.

There’s no goodbye, just a tired, sated glance over Penelope’s shoulder before she goes to leave.

And she’s never stayed the night. Josie’s never wanted her to.

But for the first time, Josie finds herself wondering what it would be like if she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to anyone who has left comments/feedback! I'm glad to see people are excited bc I'm having a lot of fun writing this lmao. 
> 
> Next chapter is the engagement party so you'll finally seeing the fake-dating in action. 
> 
> For now, let me know what you thought of this one! 
> 
> twitter: @saltzpen


	4. Chapter 4

Josie barely sleeps the night before the engagement party, and when she arrives at Lizzie and Hope’s building to help with the set-up the next day, Lizzie doesn’t spare her any sympathy.

“Well look who finally decided to show.” Lizzie tuts as Josie walks out onto the rooftop of the building – after Lizzie got into one too many fights with the original venue, she and Hope had decided to host the party themselves.

(Or they were forced to, thanks to Lizzie pissing off every other decent venue in the city)

“I’m so sorry.” Josie says, “It’s been a slow morning.”

Lizzie perks up at the sight of the coffee tray Josie has brought as a peace offering, accepting the cup marked ‘ _L’_ and regarding Josie with an amused smile, “Did Penelope keep you up?”

“You know it’s kind of weird to ask about your sister’s sex life, right?”

“Hey, I’d been beginning to think your ‘girlfriend’ was some delusion you’d made up in your morbidly single state. Forgive me for being excited to find out I don’t have to admit you into a mental home after all.”

Josie’s stomach dips uncomfortably, and she smiles weakly at her sister, and before she can answer, Hope is walking into the space.

“Careful, Babe. If you keep hounding her she won’t bring her to the party.” Hope beams over at Josie, lighting up the room in the only way that Hope Mikaelson can.

She carries a carton of beer, trailed by her aunt, Freya, who Josie is sure is the only immediate Mikaelson family member to not have immediately recoiled at the thought of not just hiring someone to set the party up for them. Rebekah and Kol are currently standing to the side, appearing to have taken on the roles of delegators as their counter-parts, Marcel and Davina, stand on ladders attempting to hang fairy lights. 

“Is that an option?” Josie quips back as Hope approaches.

Hope laughs, “Not even remotely.” She puts the carton down behind the makeshift bar that has been set up for the night, releasing a heavy breath, and then walks over to hug Josie, “You’re lucky you got _this_ far without us forcing a double date on you.”

“If we weren’t busy planning a wedding, she wouldn’t have.” Lizzie chimes in.

Josie smiles tightly back at Hope – thinks of how little she ever wants to experience that scenario, “Yeah, that’s not really Penelope’s style.”

“And what _is_ Penelope’s style?” Josie can see Hope falling into her role of the best friend now – something which Josie only feels uncomfortable with when it means talking about her love life (or in this case, faux love life) with her. “I feel like I know literally nothing about her other than that she’s the same bartender that you used to complain about all the time.”

“Enemies to lovers, hey?” Freya grins over at Josie, “Watch out, you might just marry her.”

Hope makes a face at her aunt, “Should it worry me that I can’t tell if you’re talking about you and Keelin or me and Lizzie right now?”

“Only if the day comes where Keelin gets tired of me.”

Lizzie walks over, pressing a kiss to Hope’s cheek that immediately widens the smile on her fiancé’s face, “There are worse couples to imitate.”

And there’s that familiar ache; that jealousy that Josie would give anything to have go away. For a moment, she thinks of how nice it would be if she wasn’t lying to them all right now; if she really did have what she’s claiming to have in Penelope. Of course, she could never have that with Penelope Park.

“Mom’s getting here after lunch, by the way.” Lizzie says, demanding Josie’s attention again, “She kept asking about Penelope on the phone last night, so expect to get the third degree.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Josie just hopes her mother doesn’t ask anything about Penelope that Josie doesn’t already know or can’t easily lie about on the spot.

“How _did_ you end up dating her, anyway?” Hope asks, beginning to pull beer out of the carton and load it into a cooler, “Last I heard, Lizzie was genuinely worried you were going to end up jobless for setting her alight.”

“I don’t know.” Josie shrugs, trying to sound nonchalant, if not the smallest bit smitten. She figures getting too creative will only backfire; it is Penelope Park that she’s trying to convince people she’s dating, after all. “I guess it just happened. I mean, yeah, she’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but–”

“She’s _your_ pain in the ass.” Hope finishes for her, but she’s not looking at Josie as she says it, and Josie rolls her eyes.

“Yeah.” She mutters out.

Hope pulls her gaze from Lizzie, smiling, “I’m so happy for you, Jo.” She says, and it’s so sincere that Josie’s guilt doubles, “I can’t wait to meet her.”

(Josie, on the other hand, can _definitely_ wait).

* * *

The night arrives much too fast and Josie must second-guess this whole thing at least a million times as she gets ready for the engagement party, running through every way in which it could go horribly wrong.

She’s in the middle of attempting to get her hair to sit nicely – still dressed in sweats and a tee – when there’s a knock at the door, and Josie realizes just how late she’s actually running.

She rushes to the door and flings it open, not even looking at Penelope as she turns and heads back to her room, “Sorry, I’m not even ready yet.” She says over her shoulder, “I got stuck helping Lizzie prepare.”

“It’s fine.” Josie hears the door shut as Penelope must take the implied invitation to enter, “How’re you feeling?”

Josie frowns at the question, but she’s too rushed to dwell on how off-brand it is for Penelope, “I’m okay.” She says, analysing her reflection in her mirror unhappily as she attempts to fix her hair.

“Still want to do this?”

“I don’t think I have much choice at this point.”

“There’s always a choice.”

Josie wonders if it’s actually impossible for Penelope to ever just let things slide, and she rolls her eyes, “Since when have you been the one to take the moral high-ground?”

She can hear how cagey and defensive her tone is, and this is one of those rare moments where Penelope doesn’t actually deserve her spite. She’s just a convenient target for the growing anxiety Josie’s feeling for the night ahead.

“No moral high-ground here.” Comes Penelope’s voice from the other room, “Just saying. If you don’t want to go through with it… don’t.”

For a moment Josie thinks she actually hears sincerity in Penelope’s voice. She looks at herself in the mirror, questioning if she does actually want to do it.

“No.” she decides, “I want to. It’ll make this go easier.”

She makes quick work of getting changed into her outfit – a simple red dress – and settles on pinning her hair half-up. She grabs her clutch from her dresser when she’s done and walks out of her room, “The Uber–” Josie comes to a halt when her eyes find Penelope standing in the centre of her living room. “Oh.”

And she’s not exactly a stranger to finding the woman attractive (despite all her common sense), but her stomach stirs in a way that’s jarringly different to what she’s used to. But this is also a different _Penelope_ than she’s used to, which Josie uses to explain away the uncomfortable feeling.

Josie has only ever seen Penelope in jeans and basic tees – her usual outfit of choice while on shift. Other than that, she’s usually naked.

Now, high-waisted black suit pants hug Penelope’s legs – which look considerably longer with the heels she’s in – and she wears a black bandeau beneath her suit jacket, giving a peak of the tanned skin of her stomach.

She stares at Penelope, “… you look nice.”

Which is an understatement.

Josie thinks, if Penelope dressed like this more often, she probably would have jumped her even sooner.

Penelope laughs, “Thanks for finally noticing.” Her eyes pointedly rake over Josie, “You don’t look too bad, either. For a last-minute job.”

“I can’t tell if that’s actually a compliment.”

Penelope shrugs, turning to head for the door, “Well, if we don’t put some distance between us and your bed, you’ll find out.”

Josie most definitely does _not_ condone the small smile that tugs at her lips in response, but she’s thankful that Penelope doesn’t see it as she follows her out of the apartment.

* * *

The party is already going when they arrive, the sound of music and the chatter of crowds carrying out from the rooftop and inside where Josie and Penelope step out of the elevator. Before they walk into the party, Josie freezes.

Penelope notices a few steps away, turning with a frown, “Are you coming?”

“Yeah.” Josie nods, “Yeah, I’m just… preparing.”

Penelope dawdles, returning back to Josie’s side and waiting while Josie gathers herself, readying herself for the final nail in her coffin of lies.

“Do you remember everything we’ve talked about?” Josie asks.

“Was I supposed to study?”

Josie turns a glare towards her, and Penelope laughs, “You’re overthinking this. I highly doubt I’m going to get a pop quiz on the Saltzman family tree.” 

“I think it’s reasonable to not want to be embarrassed in front of my entire family.”

“Well I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“Yeah. Like that’s possible.”

She catches the roll of Penelope’s eyes, but Penelope doesn’t give her the pleasure of a snarky response, letting them return to the silence of Josie’s anxiety.

“Okay. I’m ready.” She says eventually, stomach turning, “… should we like… hold hands?”

Penelope immediately grimaces at the proposal, “I mean… I guess.” She says reluctantly.

“Cool.” Josie holds out her hand for Penelope to take, but Penelope just stares at it.

“ _Penelope_?” Josie bites out, “Hold my hand.”

Penelope scoffs, “Not like _that_ , I’m not.”

“Not like what?”

Penelope nods at the outstretched hand, “Your hand should be the other way around.”

“ _What_?”

“My hand goes on top.”

Josie balks at Penelope, “What are you even talking about?”

“I’m a top, so my hand should go on top.” Penelope explains, like it’s simple common sense.

“That’s not a thing.”

“Yes it is. Even straight people do it– dude’s hand’s on top, girl’s is on the bottom.” Penelope says, “So, Pillow Princess, your hand should be on the bottom.”

“I’m not a Pillow Princess.”

“Maybe not. But you’re definitely not a top.”

“I top–”

“Rarely.”

Josie wouldn’t be offended by the label, if Penelope wasn’t acting so repulsed by the idea, “Well that’s only because you’re always so forceful about it.”

“Yeah. Because _you_ like it like that.”

Josie glares at Penelope, and she would continue arguing, if she didn’t know Penelope would just end up exposing their entire sex life to anyone in their vicinity to prove her point, “Fine.” She huffs, flipping her hand over, “This doesn’t mean anything, though.”

Penelope looks pleased with her victory, taking Josie’s hand and threading their fingers together, “Sure it doesn’t, _Babe_.”

When they walk out onto the rooftop, the pair are immediately latched onto by Josie’s mother, as though she’s been standing there waiting for them the entire time (which, knowing Caroline Forbes, is highly likely).

“Hi, Honey!” Carolina calls sweetly as she bounds towards them, wrapping Josie up in a hug like she hasn’t spent most of the day with her daughter. Which isn’t really out-of-nature for Caroline, whose already clingy-nature only got worse after Lizzie and Josie moved away from Mystic Falls.

When she pulls away from Josie, her eyes fix on her real target, “You must be Penelope. You’re so pretty– Josie, you didn’t say she was this pretty.”

She smiles widely at Penelope, then at Josie, sending her a look as though to say ‘good job’ and if Josie weren’t lying about dating Penelope right now, she’d be absolutely mortified at her mother’s complete lack of discretion.

“Um… sorry, I guess?” Josie says, unsure how to respond to the remark without stroking Penelope’s ego more than necessary.

 _She is pretty, though_. Josie thinks, feeling a glimmer of pride over her date for the night, even if said date is also the bane of her existence.

Penelope just grins at Caroline, settling into her role, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mrs…” and then she pauses, and pales, and Josie’s hand tightens around Penelope’s.

Caroline just laughs, “Don’t panic, honey. I know, it’s confusing. Just call me Caroline.”

Penelope exhales, “Right. Caroline.” She laughs awkwardly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to presume that you use Stefan’s surname and– well– it’s never really come up in conversation.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. I get it.” Caroline doesn’t look bothered at all, waving her off, “Now, how about we get you two some drinks? Before I interrogate Penelope.”

“Mom, we just got here.” Josie sighs.

“Well maybe if you hadn’t held out on me for so long, I wouldn’t be so desperate to get to know her.”

Penelope laughs, sharing a smile with Caroline that Josie doesn’t enjoy in the slightest, “I think I can handle a little interrogation.”

Caroline beams at Josie’s faux-girlfriend, “In that case, I’ll be right back with the champagne.”

Josie releases Penelope’s hand as her mother traipses off to the bar, turning to face her, “Maybe you should have studied after all.” She mutters out.

“How was I supposed to study _that_?” Penelope hisses, “Saltzman, Salvatore, Forbes… it’s not my fault you have the most complicated family tree in the world.”

“I did explain it to you.”

“You definitely did not tell me what surname your mom goes by.”

Josie sighs, forcing a smile on her face as she speaks with Penelope. She can feel eyes on them already, no doubt belonging to the rest of her family, who are waiting for their turn after her mother’s done determining whether or not she approves of Penelope.

She spots Lizzie across the party, preoccupied with her role as one of the hosts and showing off her engagement ring to a group of gushing friends. Her sister sends her a wave when she notices Josie, and then a wink after she blatantly does a once-over of Penelope.

Penelope sees it, and her shoulder bumps into Josie’s lightly, “Think I have a chance with your sister?” 

It takes everything in Josie not to glare at her, “Not funny.” She bites out.

“Who says I was joking?”

Josie doesn’t get to scold her, as her mother reappears through the crowd nursing three flutes of champagne and excitedly making her way back to them.

Penelope’s arm moves around Josie’s waist, pulling her closer as Caroline nears them, and it worries Josie just how easily her body falls into Penelope’s.

“So, _Penelope_.” Caroline starts once she’s handed off their drinks, “What do you do?”

Josie’s mother is wearing that terrifying smile that she always wears when she’s measuring a person’s worth. Too wide and toothy to be anything but menacing for a person meeting her for the first time.

Really, Josie doesn’t know why her family is _surprised_ that she keeps her love life so separate from them all. Lizzie got lucky with marrying someone that’s been around their entire lives. Every time _Josie_ meets someone new, the poor person has to go through a full background check from everyone in the fold.

“Oh, I bartend at the same bar Josie works at. That’s how we met, right Babe?” Penelope smiles sweetly at Josie, squeezing her side lightly, as though their first meeting was anything but a nightmare.

(It had ended with Josie dumping a beer right over her head)

“Right.” Josie sends Penelope a faux-smitten smile back at her.

“Are you studying anything?”

Josie rolls her eyes and is about to scold her mom for assuming that bartending can’t be more than a temporary gig. But then Penelope responds.

“Gender and Women’s studies.”

“ _Oh_.” Caroline sends Josie an impressed look, “Josie never mentioned that.”

Josie tries to hide her surprise at the answer, wondering why of all the things to go rogue on, _that_ was Penelope’s choice, “Didn’t I?” she responds innocently.

Caroline just keeps on throwing questions at Penelope from there, and to Penelope’s credit, she seems to perform quite well under the woman’s scrutiny. When Caroline leads them over to the rest of Josie’s loved ones, Penelope navigates conversation with surprising ease. Josie’s aunts and uncles send her looks every now and then – _those_ looks, as though to show they approve of Josie’s choice.

If this thing were real, Josie would be proud of Penelope. She supposes she shouldn’t be surprised that Penelope does so well playing her part as the doting girlfriend. Josie watches Penelope bullshit people every night they work together, after all. All sweet flirty smiles and smooth conversation perfectly measured to get what she wants out of people. Just another thing Josie can’t stand about her.

(It’s hard to fight off her knee-jerk reaction to roll her eyes every time more bullshit comes out of Penelope’s mouth and someone in her family swoons.)

It’s over an hour into the party when the novelty of Penelope starts of wear off and they’re left alone, standing by the edge of the roof. Josie’s yet to get a moment with Lizzie or Hope, who are still in high demand amongst the rest of the guests. Whenever she spots Hope amongst the crowd, she looks utterly exhausted – never having been the social one of her and Lizzie – and Josie honestly wouldn’t be surprised if after this ordeal, Hope orders Lizzie to cut the guest list in half for the wedding.

“I think my family bought it.” Josie says to Penelope, who is watching where the band plays at the head of the make-shift dancefloor, “Us.”

Penelope nods, “I told you it would be fine.”

“I guess I underestimated how good of a liar you are.”

Green eyes move to Josie, narrowing, “Careful.” She warns, taking a sip from of the glass of whiskey she managed to get treated to by her uncle, Damon, who (of course) brought his own bottle for the night.

“What was the college thing about, though?” Josie asks, genuinely curious, “I feel like you could have picked an easier major for you to lie about.”

“What do you mean?”

Josie scoffs, “I mean, Gender and Women’s Studies?”

Penelope looks at her blankly, no sign of amusement on her face, “… yeah?”

It’s then that Josie realizes that she really _doesn’t_ know anything about Penelope. “Wait, you actually study that?”

“Well that’s a weird thing to _lie_ about.”

“I didn’t even know that you were in college.”

“We go to the _same_ college.”

“No we don’t.”

“Yes, we do.”

Josie stares at her, “You go to George Washington?”

“ _Yes_.” Penelope says, “You’re not observant at all, are you?”

“I just… didn’t know you were in school.”

Penelope rolls her eyes, “Believe it or not, when I’m not bartending or fucking you, I don’t cease to exist.” She doesn’t look bothered, but for some reason Josie still feels a twinge of guilt. Penelope finishes her glass, letting out a sigh, “Alright, I’m getting another drink. Want one?”

Josie nods, “Something that isn’t champagne, please.”

She watches the band while Penelope goes off to seek out drinks for them, but then more and more time passes and Josie decides to go looking for her – partly in case she’s been cornered by a family member, partly in case she’s sabotaging Josie’s family life.

Both options equally are likely, but when Josie spots her over by the bar with none other than Hope, she fears it’s likely the latter. Her stomach immediately drops, and she’s bolting over to the pair in seconds.

“Penelope?” Josie says stiffly when she reaches them.

Penelope’s eyes meet Josie’s, and instead of the amusement she expects to see, Josie finds what she thinks might be panic.

“Josie!” Hope exclaims excitedly, “You didn’t tell me your girlfriend was Penelope _Park.”_

Josie takes the glass of wine Penelope is holding out to her, leaning in to kiss her cheek in thanks and frowning at her ‘girlfriend’ when she pulls away, “… I thought I did?” she responds unsurely, and then she notices to odd familiarity in the way Hope lingers near Penelope – a stark contrast to the usual apprehension the Mikaelson heir has around strangers.

“Wait. Do you… know each other?” Josie guesses, and she looks to Penelope, barely able to hide the irritation in her gaze. She’s unable to tell whether the smile Penelope is wearing is one veiling surprise equal to Josie’s, or one that is amused at the fact that Josie’s trusted her with this whole lie.

“We _used_ to.” Hope confirms, grinning at Penelope, completely oblivious to the annoyed look Josie is sending her supposed girlfriend, “We basically grew up together.”

“But _we_ grew up together.” Josie responds, confused.

“In New Orleans.” Penelope says, and Josie doesn’t know what it is, but there’s something different about Penelope’s tone, “That’s where I’m from.”

“Yeah. So, when I wasn’t with you and _Lizzie_ at school, I was spending my summers with your future girlfriend.” Hope laughs, “Weird, right?”

“… yeah.” Josie mutters, “ _Weird_.”

“You know, Penelope gave me my first ever joint?” Hope’s eyes are shining with pure elation, and Josie’s stomach twists with increasing worry.

“Well… at least she hasn’t changed at all.” She hopes that comes out as a fond joke rather than the disapproving jab Josie would usually deliver it as, but she’s not sure Hope would even notice right now, anyway.

Josie smiles tightly at Hope, and an awkward silence settles over them.

Penelope’s the one to break it, “Congratulations on the engagement, by the way.”

“Oh, thanks!” Hope grins, and her eyes immediately stray to Lizzie on the other side of the roof. Josie hates herself for the twinge of jealousy that coils in her stomach. “I mean, it’s kind of a long time coming. I don’t know how much Josie has told you, but it feels like we’ve been married for years already.”

“Childhood sweethearts?” Penelope guesses.

 _That_ makes Josie laugh, “Definitely not.”

“Honestly you probably heard me complain about Lizzie when I’d come home for summer.” Hope agrees, “If you told me back then that I’d be marrying Lizzie I probably would have told you that you got your Saltzman twins mixed up.”

Penelope’s eyebrows rise, and Josie’s throat dries up at the comment. She expects an unsubtle remark from Penelope about it, prepares for the embarrassment.

But instead, Penelope just says, “Oh?”

And Hope laughs, “I’m kidding, don’t worry. Josie was just always the nice twin, you know? Lizzie and I were at each other’s throats.”

“The nice twin, huh?” Penelope looks to Josie, eyes shining with amusement, “So it’s just _me_ that she’s mean to.”

Josie’s jaw tightens and she digs her nails into Penelope’s side in warning. Hope, thankfully, doesn’t seem to take the remark as anything but teasing between a couple. 

“God, the things I could tell you about Penelope.” Hope says, and she looks ready to dive right into a retelling of her and Penelope’s past – which Josie doesn’t think she even _wants_ to know about. But fortunately, the hostess is being called over by Lizzie before she can launch them into it.

“Ah, duty calls.” Hope sighs, and then she reaches out for Penelope, hand wrapping around Penelope’s wrist, “But we need to catch up.”

Josie stares at where Hope touches Penelope, eyes narrowing. And okay… she does not like _that_ at all.

“Please.” Hope continues, too focused on Penelope to notice the complete lack of a poker face Josie has right now as she looks unhappily at where Hope holds Penelope’s wrist, “I swear all my friends are Lizzie’s friends at this point. I need a drinking buddy.”

Josie’s entire body shivers at the thought, and she wonders if she should just start digging her grave now.

“Yeah.” Penelope nods, and her hesitant smile is now an actual grin and wow Josie _hates_ this entire thing. “That would be great.”

“Okay.” Hope smiles at Penelope, “Okay, great. Well, you two have _fun_. Hopefully I’ll be able to breathe at some point tonight and we can actually talk for more than a second.”

And then she’s darting off towards her fiancé, leaving a deafening silence between Penelope and Josie as they watch her go.

Josie loops her arm around Penelope’s – holding her a bit tighter than necessary – and leads her away from the crowds, “So, you know her.” Josie bites out, releasing Penelope when they reach the edge of the rooftop.

Penelope sighs, leaning her side against the railing, “That I do.”

Josie struggles to maintain her composure, reminding herself where they are, and that yelling at her ‘girlfriend’ isn’t the best way to convince everyone she’s happily taken, “Did you _know_ you knew her?”

“Trust me, this is as much of a surprise to you as it is to me.” Penelope says – and this time, Josie catches the annoyance in Penelope’s voice.

“You really didn’t know?”

“I swear to God, I had no fucking idea. I didn’t even know she left New Orleans – that’s like, unheard of for Mikaelson’s.” Penelope says, “Why wouldn’t _you_ tell me that the woman your sister’s marrying is fucking _Hope Mikaelson_?”

“Because I didn’t think it mattered!” Josie huffs, “Who even _are_ you to be close to the Mikaelson family, anyway? They own like, half of New Orleans.”

Penelope shrugs, arms crossing in front of her, “Family ties.”

“Right. Your family, who I know nothing about.”

“You don’t _need_ to know anything about them.”

“Well if I had, I might have known I was bringing Hope’s childhood friend to the party.” Josie groans, turning to face the view, arms resting on the railing and hanging her head in her hands, “Oh my God, this ruins everything.”

“Not necessarily.”

“If she knows you, she’ll know there’s no way we could be together.”

“We knew each other when we were teenagers. We don’t actually _know_ each other.” Penelope rolls her eyes, “Trust me, back then I wouldn’t have thought she’d end up marrying someone like your sister. Yet, here we are.”

Josie stares out at the city beneath them, mind racing through every way in which this could fuck things up. And then there’s that thought – one that settled heavy in her mind the moment she saw how easily Hope existed in Penelope’s space.

“You didn’t–” she cuts herself short, unsure if the question is just setting herself up for torture.

“What?”

Josie decides if she doesn’t ask it, the not knowing might kill her anyway, “You two were never… _more_ than friends, were you?”

There’s a beat, “Are you asking if I’ve had sex with your sister’s fiancé?”

“You don’t have to phrase it like that.” Josie pauses, “But yes, that’s what I’m asking.”

Penelope just smirks, arching a brow.

“Oh my god. You have.” Josie blanches, “Oh my _God_ and I brought you here. And I told you about–”

Penelope laughs, “As much as I’d love to have that to laud over you, you can calm down.” She says, “We were just friends.”

“Really?” Josie doesn’t know if she believes Penelope – isn’t sure Penelope even _knows_ how to be friends with someone without sleeping with them.

“Yes. Really.” Penelope says, “I mean, I would have been up for it. But it was never like that with us.”

“I don’t know if I should believe you.”

“Shame, you don’t have much of an option.”

Josie sighs, “I really don’t, do I?” she mutters out, defeated.

Penelope doesn’t respond, and Josie feels her watching her but she just keeps her gaze forward, sipping from her wine and thinking about just how bad it’s going to be when this lie comes back to bite her.

She sees Penelope move out of the corner of her eye, stepping behind Josie. When Josie feels a chin rest on her shoulder, her immediate reaction is to recoil from the contact, but Penelope’s arms snake around her waist and pull her back into her, stopping any chance of escape.

“What are you doing?”

“Relax.” Penelope drawls, and Josie feels lips brush her ear, “I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, remember? This is how girlfriends act.”

“I feel like PDA isn’t completely necessary.”

“It is when you’ve just stood there scolding me for the past ten minutes.”

Josie freezes, “Did it look like we were fighting?”

“It didn’t look like you were happy with me, that’s for sure.” Penelope’s laugh tickles Josie’s ear, “You have one of the most readable faces I’ve ever seen.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” Penelope sounds amused, “Although, I’ll give you some credit, you’ve only blatantly looked ready to murder me once tonight.”

“So my poker face can’t be _that_ bad.” Josie says, although she’s smiling when she does so.

“Or you’ve actually liked my company a little bit.”

“ _Or_ I’ve liked not having my family ask questions about why I’m single and whether I’m planning on dying alone.”

Josie feels Penelope’s laugh against her back, “Whatever you say.”

Neither of them talk for a while after that. And there’s a moment in there, where they’re just watching the city below and Josie can feel _everything._ The warmth of Penelope’s front pressed to her back, the rise and fall of Penelope’s chest every time she takes a breath, the way that breath tickles Josie’s neck ever so slightly when she exhales. Josie hopes it’s just the alcohol taking its toll on her, because the kind of buzz that’s running through her body right now is terrifying.

She doesn’t get why it feels like this, either. She’s had Penelope literally naked in bed with her. What the fuck does it matter that she’s holding her now? Absolutely nothing.

And yet.

“So, Gender and Women’s Studies, huh?” she asks out of pure need to get out of her head. She hopes Penelope doesn’t hear how shaky her voice sounds when she speaks.

“I like feminist theory. I figured I’d take it and see where I end up.”

Josie thinks that might be the most genuine answer Penelope’s ever given her.

“What do you want to do with it?”

Penelope shrugs, “I don’t know. Maybe get into journalism. I think I might like to teach, even.”

“Huh.” Josie’s stumped for anything of more substance to say. Really, she’s having trouble processing the fact that Penelope Park isn’t only a heavy feminist but is actively studying within the area. The same Penelope Park that she’s had pinned as a bisexual female answer to a fuckboy.

She turns in Penelope’s arms to look at Penelope, but immediately regrets it when she realizes how close they are. Her back is resting against the safety rail, preventing Josie from putting the space between them that she could really do with right about now. But this is what girlfriends do, right? It’d be weird to push Penelope back.

“You didn’t expect that?” Penelope says.

Josie frowns, distracted by how different Penelope looks when she’s this close, “What?”

She notices the soft specks in Penelope’s green eyes and wonders how she’s spent so many occasions this close – if not closer – to Penelope, and never actually _looked_ at her.

Her eyes follow where Penelope’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, “My major.” She says.

“Oh.” Josie forces the cloudiness in her head to clear, remembering herself, “Yeah, no. I guess I didn’t.”

“Why?”

It’s a deceptively innocent question. Because answering it doesn’t mean just a simple ‘no’. It means Josie admitting that whatever she’s thought of Penelope up until now, it’s been wrong. And then she has to think about whatever else she might be wrong about. And just where that might lead her is somewhere Josie has had no plans to go.

She settles on, “I don’t know.”

Their faces are barely an inch apart, Josie caged in between Penelope and the railing. She can feel Penelope’s breath against her lips, and Josie is painfully aware of every little movement between them; every turn of their heads, every slight shift of their bodies that are pressed together.

And Josie’s attracted to Penelope, that’s nothing she isn’t already aware of. So she doesn’t understand why it feels so damning right now when she realizes she wants to kiss her.

Josie swallows, “So, you think PDA is necessary?” she asks, and it’s oddly fascinating watching the muscles of Penelope’s brows curve into a confused frown.

Penelope tilts her head, and that only seems to bring their lips closer, “I mean, most couples are at least a bit affectionate.”

“Yeah.” Josie nods, and her eyes falls to Penelope’s lips, “So when couples fight like we were… when they make up there’s usually more of that.”

Penelope’s nose brushes Josie’s as she leans in that little bit closer, tilts her head up, “Usually.”

And if there’s ever been a reason to kiss Penelope, it’s right now. At a party where she’s trying to convince everyone that they’re together. This might be the first time that it’s actually been permissible to kiss her. The problem is how much she wants it.

So maybe it’s a good thing that when their lips are about to meet, the sound of a familiar laugh makes Josie stop right in her tracks. Her eyes open, and she looks over Penelope’s shoulder to the source of the sound, and her stomach drops.

“Josie?” Penelope pulls back, frowning at her and then turning her head to follow Josie’s gaze, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Josie murmurs, stunned, “Just… that’s my dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry folks this got long so it's been split in two. Ch 5 will be the rest of the party :) 
> 
> In the mean time leave a comment and let me know I'm not yelling into the abyss!
> 
> twitter: saltzpen


	5. Chapter 5

Penelope goes to step away from Josie, but Josie’s hands grab for her blazer and pull her back, keeping her firmly in front of her and out of view of Alaric. Penelope looks down at Josie’s hands, gripping the blazer tight, “Um…”

Her hands wrap softly around Josie’s wrists, and Josie startles at how warm her skin feels, jolting her out of the frozen shock of seeing her father, “Sorry.” She mutters, releasing Penelope’s jacket and pulling her hands from Penelope’s hold.

Alaric hasn’t spotted Josie yet, and Josie watches as he talks with Damon, awkward in how he exists in the space. She knew Lizzie had invited him, but like every other big event over the past few years, Josie had expected their dad to be a no-show. Even when he _does_ say he’ll be somewhere, there’s usually a ninety-percent chance he’ll never show up. 

Penelope is frowning at her, confused, and _of course_ she is. Josie made a point of skimming over the father subject when she was informing her fake-girlfriend of the Saltzman family ties.

“I just didn’t think he’d be here.” Josie says, and she glances to Penelope, surprised to find what looks like concern on her face. It’s almost comforting, almost welcoming of the idea of Josie confiding in her. But then Josie remembers this is Penelope Park.

“… do you want to say hi?” Penelope asks unsurely.

Josie shakes her head and feels a level of relief when Damon starts steering Alaric away from them, no doubt given babysitting duty by Elena, who is watching Josie’s father cautiously from where she stands speaking with Caroline and Bonnie.

Penelope doesn’t look back at them, just keeps her eyes on Josie, “Do you want to leave?”

Josie shakes her head again, “No.” it sounds too unsure when she says it first, “No, it’s fine.” She says more firmly.

“Okay.” Penelope nods, “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. It’s fine. I’m just… surprised.”

Lizzie appears beside them then, eyes wide and clearly having also witnessed their father’s appearance at the party.

“Dad’s here.” she hisses out, “Did you know he was going to be here?”

Penelope steps away from Josie, putting some distance between them. Josie frowns at how her immediate reaction is to pull her back.

“Of course not.” Josie says, “Did _you_ know?”

“No. It’s _Dad_. I just assumed he’d get the invite and forget about it.”

Josie looks over at their father, who is currently sharing a laugh with Damon over something, “Is he…”

“I don’t know.” Lizzie sighs, “I mean, Damon said he’s still drinking most nights, so…”

Josie hates that she _still_ feels disappointed when she hears it.

“God, Jo,” Lizzie whines, “I can’t deal with his shit tonight. This is supposed to be a celebration–”

“It’s fine.” Josie says, “I’ve got it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Josie nods, “I’ll keep an eye on him and if he gets out of hand, I’ll take care of it. You just have fun tonight, okay?”

Lizzie relaxes a little bit at that, “Okay. Okay, I love you.” She wraps Josie in a hug, “I mean, maybe he won’t even be a problem.”

“Maybe.” Josie agrees, although her tone betrays just how unlikely she knows that is.

When Lizzie walks off, Josie turns to find Penelope watching her with a weird expression.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Well clearly it’s _something_.”

Penelope looks unsure about it, but she relents, “Okay, well, you just _froze_ at the sight of the guy. Can’t someone else in your family handle him?”

“He’s my dad.” Josie says, “He’s my responsibility.”

“Last I checked, parents are responsible for their children. Not the other way around.”

“Yeah, well, last I checked you didn’t have the right to an opinion about how I deal with my family, _so.”_

“I’m not trying to be a dick–”

“Then _don’t_ be.” Josie bites out, and Penelope rolls her eyes, “You just don’t get it.”

Penelope lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Clearly not.”

Josie doesn’t know why she’s even entertaining this conversation. Because of all the people whose opinions she cares about, Penelope Park’s is not one of them.

“Just stay here.” She says, “I’m going to say hi.”

“Wait–”

Penelope’s hand darts out to grab Josie’s wrist, stopping her from leaving, and the frown on Penelope’s face makes Josie wonder if she even intended to grab her.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No.” Josie says, and it’s the surest she’s sounded so far. Inviting Penelope here is already giving her more access to Josie’s life than she ever wanted to give her. Letting her meet her dad? Not exactly something that would work in her favor come the day that Penelope inevitably uses all of this against her.

Josie just doesn’t get why Penelope would think she would _want_ her to come with her.

She pulls out of Penelope’s hold, turning and leaving to walk over to where Alaric and Damon stand together. Josie sees when her dad registers her approach, his soft eyes lighting up in the way it only does for his daughters, bringing with it a fresh wave of guilt for Josie to bury deep.

“Josie, honey.” Alaric’s arms are wide open, and he closes the distance between them, wrapping her in a tight hug, like she’s not the same daughter that’s been screening his calls for the past month. “It’s so good to see you.”

For a moment, Josie’s smile is genuine; it falters when she smells the vodka on him, “Hey, Dad.” She greets stiffly when they separate. Alaric’s wearing that dopey smile that means he’s fast moving past sober, and Josie’s stomach twists with dread. “We didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

“Are you kidding? Lizzie’s getting _married_!” Alaric beams, “I couldn’t miss this.”

Josie refrains from responding with a list of events her father thought he _could_ miss in recent years, “Well… it’s nice to see you.”

There’s a beat, and Damon just stands there, looking between them with a cautious expression, no doubt preparing to intervene if things go South.

“How’re you doing?” Alaric says eventually, “Are you still writing? How’s that – that guy you were dating wh–”

“I’m fine.” Josie says, “And that’s over. Has been for over a year, now.”

_Which, he should know._ Josie has only reminded him about it every time she’s spoken to him since.

Alaric’s face falls, “Oh. I’m sorry, Jo.”

“Like I said, it’s fine.” Josie purses her lips, eyes falling to the glass in Alaric’s hands.

Alaric catches it, “Oh. It’s just seltzer.” His slur gives away the lie, “Hate the stuff, but I like having something in my hand.”

“Right.” Josie doesn’t even try to sound like she believes him, “Well… I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”

Alaric’s still grinning, and there’s so much love in his eyes and Josie _hates_ it because she’ll never understand why with all that love, they’ve still ended up here, “Of course.”

“This is a special night for Lizzie and Hope.” she says, hoping he hears _‘don’t ruin it’_ hidden in the statement.

“I know.” Alaric nods, looking more serious now, “I just wanted to be here to celebrate with them.”

And it’s not that Josie doesn’t believe him. It’s just that Josie knows, no matter how sincere he is, he always seems to betray himself.

“Man, I’m hungry.” Damon says, breaking the silence between them, “What do you say, Ric? Let’s let Josie get back to her new lady friend and we can eat–”

“You’re seeing someone new?” Alaric perks up, and he’s already looking around the party, “Is she here?”

Josie pales, “Um, yeah. She is.”

“I’d love to meet her–”

“Yeah. Maybe later.” Josie says, and the way she says it is enough to make Alaric’s face fall with the knowledge that she has no intention of arranging for such a meeting.

“Okay.” he says meekly, “Well, I’d like that.”

Josie nods, and she offers her father another hug, grips just a little too tight, imagining for a moment that he’s still the man who raised her. She doesn’t go back to Penelope immediately; doesn’t really want deal with Penelope’s judgmental gaze as she attempts to process the first actual contact with her dad for months.

Josie knows Lizzie still calls him on occasion, thanks to Hope’s influence. But Josie’s just about forced every thought of their father out of her mind of late. She makes her way off of the rooftop, back into the building and finding solace in the bathroom.

Her face feels hot and her hands shake where they lock the door behind her, and she wishes she had the strength to tell him to leave. Wishes that after years of disappointment she wasn’t still clinging to the man her father used to be. Hates that even after cutting him out, he can show up like this and make her feel like that twenty-one-year-old fleeing Mystic Falls all over again.

There’s a knock at the bathroom door and Josie ignores it.

“Josie?”

Josie looks at herself in the mirror, thinks Penelope wasn’t completely wrong earlier. Her face gives her away. Eyes glassy and face flushed, telling anyone who cares all they need to know. When Penelope calls her again, Josie gives in, unlocking the door. She doesn’t open it, just steps back further into the bathroom, resting against the counter.

When Penelope’s head peers around the door, she looks apprehensive at first. But then she walks inside, locking the door behind her and resting back against it as she watches Josie.

When Josie doesn’t say anything, Penelope speaks.

“So that was your dad.”

“Yep.”

Penelope nods, lets the silence sit between them, “Are you okay?”

“Do you care?” Josie’s not sure if she means it to sound spiteful, or anything, really.

Penelope frowns, like she’s not quite sure herself, “… do you _want_ me to care?”

Josie finally looks at Penelope then. Stares at her.

At how calm and confident she looks, how at ease she always seems to be in her own skin. At how nicely she fits out the suit she’s wearing, at the soft bow of her lips and the peak of a tanned stomach between the top of her pants and the bottom of her bandeau. Josie feels something stir in her and it comes as a relief to the alternative.

“Come here.” She says quietly.

Penelope looks at her like maybe she misheard, but when Josie doesn’t repeat herself, she makes her way over to her.

And yeah, maybe it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, but it’s the whole reason _for_ having Penelope in her life.

Josie reaches for Penelope when she gets closer, hands grasping the collar of her blazer, and she pulls her lips to her own. It’s soft at first, testing the waters, seeing if Penelope will give her what she wants right now. Penelope tilts her head, lips moving softly against Josie’s, following her lead.

Josie pulls her closer, and Penelope reaches a hand up to rest beneath Josie’s chin, coaxing Josie to turn her head slightly as her tongue dips into Josie’s mouth.

And it’s almost enough, almost makes Josie forget everything; so she follows it, deepening the kiss, pulling Penelope into her so firmly that Josie stumbles back against the counter.

“Here?” Penelope breathes out, pulling back for a moment.

Josie kisses her hard this time, bites the bottom of Penelope’s lip, coaxes the side of the woman out that she’s so much more comfortable with, “Please.”

Penelope nods, kisses her again, “Okay.”

She’s turning Josie around then, lips on her neck and pressing her forward against the counter, and Josie catches green eyes in the reflection of the mirror and there’s something different in them than before. Something she doesn’t want.

Josie closes her eyes, forces the image out of her mind and instead focuses on Penelope’s hands, running down her thighs to the end of her dress, hiking the fabric up to her hips. Fingers hooking through panties and pulling them down her legs. Teeth, dragging over her shoulder, lips sucking at her skin.

And Josie lets herself forget.

* * *

Penelope doesn’t bring up Josie’s father again after that; she just lets Josie guide her back out to the rooftop and pretend she didn’t just have a minor meltdown that led to having sex at her sister’s engagement party.

Which, Josie thinks, is actually uncharacteristically generous of Penelope. Although knowing her, she could simply be stowing it away for future use.

When they return to the party, Josie spots Alaric amongst the crowd – still with Damon and still seemingly behaving, despite the drunken sway to his step. Josie takes Penelope’s hand and leads her over to where her mom is standing with Stefan.

Caroline’s face is hard and serious, eyes narrowed and staring down Alaric; Stefan says something to her which Josie assumes is him notifying her of Josie’s approach, as Caroline pulls her gaze from Alaric and trains it on Josie instead.

“Hey, hun.” Caroline greets, voice laced with sympathy and lifting an arm up for Josie to curl herself into her side when she reaches her mother, “You doing okay?”

“Yeah.” Josie smiles reassuringly at her, “I’m fine.”

Caroline kisses her cheek, holding her tighter, “I would have told you if I knew he was coming.”

“I know.”

Honestly, Josie feels guilty expecting _anything_ from her mother when it comes to Alaric. She already gave up most of her adult life making up for his short-comings; something that she’d never signed up for in the first place.

A touch to her elbow pulls her eyes back to Penelope.

“I’m going to get us some drinks.” Penelope says.

Stefan quickly elects to accompany Penelope, no doubt sensing the impending conversation. When they’re walking away, Penelope says something that makes Stefan laugh and Josie’s brow furrows.

“I like her for you.” Caroline says, watching Josie watch Penelope, and when Josie looks back to her mother and sees the fondness in her eyes she feels like an absolute fraud.

“It’s still new.” Is the only answer she can find that feels slightly less deceptive.

Caroline nods, and then her eyes return to Alaric, “I’ll take him back to Mystic Falls tonight.”

“No, Mom.” Josie sighs, “You’re supposed to spend the weekend here.”

“I can come back another time.”

“No, you can’t.”

It’s true. Since Alaric was stepped down as headmaster and Caroline stepped in, her and Stefan’s lives have basically revolved around getting Salvatore Boarding School back on its feet. Weekend trips to DC aren’t exactly common.

“He’ll have a hotel.” Josie reasons, “I’ll take him back there tonight and make sure he’s okay tomorrow.”

“Josie.” Caroline eyes her sternly, “You shouldn’t–”

“He’s not your problem, Mom.” Josie says, “You already deal with this enough at home. I can do it for a night.”

Caroline looks uneasy with the proposal, but Josie matches her with a stubborn expression, and she lets out a sigh, “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Stefan and Penelope are making their way back to them soon after that, looking more comfortable talking to one another than Josie would like them to be. Really, she has no idea what the pair could have in common.

“On that note,” Caroline reaches for Stefan’s arm as he and Penelope re-join them, and he must recognize the look in his wife’s eye because he immediately lets out pained groan, “ _We’re_ going to dance.”

Stefan eyes her reluctantly, “Just one.” he says, “You get _one_ dance.”

Josie grins as she watches her mother pull Stefan off towards the band, and she accepts the glass of wine that Penelope offers her.

Curiosity gets the better of her when her attention moves back to Penelope, “What were you talking to Stefan about?”

Penelope shrugs, taking a sip of her own drink, “Books.”

Josie frowns, “ _Books_?”

It’s not really surprising; Stefan’s heavy passion for reading is what sparked Josie’s own interest when she was younger. What _is_ surprising is that he didn’t look completely repulsed by whatever opinions Penelope shared with him.

“Yeah.” Penelope smirks, “Apparently I have a better taste in literature than your ex.”

And for the second time tonight, Penelope surprises Josie. 

“Don’t feel _too_ good about that.” Josie says, “He literally thought _The Catcher in the Rye_ was the greatest book of all time.”

“You dated a Holden Caulfield fanboy?”

Josie laughs, “He was charming at the time.”

“I highly doubt that.” Penelope says, “Did he make you read his shitty prose?”

“It wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“I highly doubt _that_ , too.”

Josie finds herself grinning as she shoves Penelope to the side lightly, “Shut up.”

Of course, Penelope doesn’t, “I’m just worried about this entire thing we have going now.” She teases, “I mean, if _that’s_ your taste, no one’s going to believe that we’re dating.”

“We seem to be doing okay so far, so maybe you’re not as far from a poor Holden Caulfield imitation as you think.” Josie shrugs, enjoying the insulted expression on Penelope’s face, “You do have the smoking habit down.”

“That might be the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Penelope’s smiling as she says it, and Josie just laughs.

And she might just be having a good time.

* * *

Surprisingly, Penelope isn’t the worst company in the world, when she’s behaving. She keeps things entertaining and their constant banter actually proves useful in stopping Josie from fixating on her father the entire time.

They almost make it through the night without a complete disaster.

Almost.

It’s when Caroline is starting off the speeches that Josie’s reminded _why_ she refrains from letting her guard down when her father is nearby.

She’s leaning into Penelope and laughing along to a story her mom is telling the guests about Hope and Lizzie when the sound of glass breaking carries through the party. Caroline pauses and heads start turning and Josie’s stomach immediately drops, knowing what is next.

Her dad is over by the bar, broken glass at his feet and gripping to the bar-top like it’s the only thing keeping him up straight.

Josie makes eye contact with her mom, then looks to Lizzie, who is standing with Hope at the front of the crowd of guests, frustration and worry clear on her face as Hope murmurs what Josie assumes are reassurances to her. She catches her sister’s eye and gives her a small nod before moving away from Penelope and rushing over to Alaric.

Caroline picks her speech back up, encouraging the attention of the guests back on to her, but for a few prying eyes that stare back at Alaric, judgment clear as day.

Alaric’s face is flushed and he’s murmuring to himself when Josie reaches him.

“Dad.” She bites out.

Alaric looks up from the glass, “Hey, honey!” he grins at Josie, out-of-breath and eyes barely focused on his daughter, “I’m so sorry, the glass just slipped and I– I’ll clean it up.” His words are so slurred he barely sounds like he’s speaking English, and then he’s reaching down and attempting to pick up the glass.

“No, Dad–” Josie gets in his way before he can cut himself, “ _No_.” she hisses out.

Alaric frowns, “It’s fine–”

And then another hand is falling over Alaric’s, “Hey, Mr Saltzman.” It’s Penelope, smiling kindly at him. She makes eye contact, demanding his attention, “We haven’t had a chance to meet.”

Alaric smiles dopily at her, letting her take his hand in greeting and paying little mind to how Penelope’s other hand rests at his back, managing to guide him to a standing position.

“I’m Penelope.”

“Penelope.” Alaric nods as he shakes her hand, continuing to hold it afterwards, “You’re…”

“Josie’s girlfriend.”

“ _Really_?” Alaric’s smile widens and he looks to Josie, “You’re Josie’s girlfriend?”

Penelope grins, and even Josie almost believes her sincerity, “That’s me.”

Josie steps between them, “Dad, we should get you home.” She says, doing her best to keep the anger out of her tone, knowing full-well the smoother they get him out of here, the better.

Damon’s intervening then, “I can take him.” He says, and he’s already pulling one of Alaric’s arms over his shoulder, “Party’s over, Ric.”

The action looks so familiar to him and Josie feels that sickening guilt she gets every time she thinks of Mystic Falls. Of Alaric being escorted home every other night by Damon or whoever else the burden has fallen on. Everyone except his own daughters.

“It’s fine.” Josie assures him, “I can do it.”

Damon looks between her and Penelope, “Are you sure?”

Josie expects Penelope to side with Damon, given her unwarranted opinions earlier. Instead, she surprises her.

“If you could just help us get him in a car, we can take him from there.” She assures him, firm and leaving little room for argument.

Damon nods, conceding, and he lets Josie lead the way, holding most of Alaric’s weight as he guides him through the party.

Josie avoids the probing eyes that follow them as they leave, and when they get downstairs and out of the building Penelope has apparently already ordered an Uber, the car waiting for them. Damon wrestles Alaric into the backseat and Josie just manages to get a mumbled hotel address out of her dad before he passes out, head falling against the window.

Josie’s in the middle seat, side pressed against Penelope’s, and the silence that falls between them is heavy.

Penelope doesn’t say anything, but Josie keeps feeling her eyes on her and she forces her own to remain on the road. Because of all the things she _doesn’t_ need tonight, it’s judgment from Penelope Park.

When they reach the hotel, Josie allows Penelope to help her with coaxing Alaric out of the cab and locating his hotel room, but when they get to the room, Josie stops before Penelope can enter.

“I have him.” She says stiffly, “You can go.”

Penelope frowns, but she doesn’t follow when Josie unlocks the door and makes her way inside, closing the door behind her. Josie figures at least she can save _some_ face, tonight, as she struggles with leading her dad through the room towards his bed.

Alaric’s awake again now, although barely, as he falls onto the bed like a dead weight, “Hey, I like her.” He declares to Josie, “You should keep her around.”

Josie takes her father’s approval as further confirmation that Penelope is the last person in the world she could ever be in a relationship with.

“Sure, Dad.”

“Hey–” Alaric reaches for Josie, catching her hand, “Hey– please, just let me talk to you, okay?”

Josie looks to the door longingly, but her guilt wins out, and she sits down on the edge of the mattress. She doesn’t say anything. Just waits.

“I’m sorry.” Alaric says eventually, but the slur makes it hard to really trust it, “I’m so sorry, honey.” He repeats, “I just– I wanted to see Lizzie and Hope and _you_ and I swear, I’m going to get it together. I’ve been trying–”

“I know, Dad.” Josie says weakly, “That’s the problem. You’re _always_ trying but nothing ever actually changes.”

“But it will. It will.” Alaric squeezes her hand, “I’ll change. I promise. I’m better; I’m getting better.”

Josie’s heard it all before, but her heart aches all the same, “Then _be_ better, Dad.” She sighs, “Get sober. Walk Lizzie down the aisle. Don’t you want that?”

“Of course, I do. More than anything.”

“Then just… do it.” The weight on Josie’s chest feels too heavy to stay any longer, “Are you going to be okay here? I’ll come back and see you in the morning–”

She notices Alaric’s hand has already gone limp in her own, soft snores beginning to sound through the room as he falls back to sleep. Josie sighs, looking about the room. He can’t have been here more than a day but there’s an empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table and the place looks like a bomb has hit it.

She considers staying. Feels that old, familiar pull in her stomach telling her that this is her responsibility. It’s only the knowing of how hard it was to leave the first time that makes her go now.

She cleans the room before she leaves, and when Josie does make her way out of the hotel, stepping back out into the cool night, she’s surprised to find Penelope still there.

She’s dawdling out on the sidewalk with a lit cigarette between her fingers, but when Penelope hears the sound of the doors closing behind Josie, she turns, promptly dropping the cigarette to her feet.

Penelope looks more concerned than Josie thinks she has any right to be, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Josie mutters out cagily, and she stares at the cigarette as Penelope pushes her heel into it, “No chance you have another one of those?”

Penelope’s brow arches, but she doesn’t question Josie, and she reaches into her pocket to retrieve her pack, pulling a cigarette out to offer her. She doesn’t say anything as Josie accepts the cigarette, just ignites her lighter and holds it out for her.

Josie’s eyes catch Penelope’s as she leans towards the flame, inhaling as the butt of the cigarette catches alight. She’s not quite sure what she sees in Penelope’s stare, but it feels all too intimate. Filled with more knowledge than Josie ever wanted someone like Penelope Park to have about her.

Josie steps back almost immediately after the cigarette is lit, placing a healthy distance between them, “You didn’t need to wait.” She says when the silence grates on her.

She _shouldn’t_ have waited, Josie thinks.

Penelope shrugs, “Not like I’ve got anywhere else to be.”

The nonchalant response is almost comforting – Josie can _almost_ believe that this doesn’t completely change things between them.

“He wasn’t always like that.” Josie says, and she doesn’t know why she even cares what Penelope thinks, “He was a good dad.”

Penelope nods, “I believe you.”

Penelope doesn’t ask for the ‘why’, and neither of them says anything after that. Penelope just stands there, as though waiting for Josie to speak. To let it off her chest.

And she could do that. God knows, she has plenty to say about it all. About how much she misses her dad. About how frustrated, and sad and _guilty_ she feels about everything that most days it’s easier to just forget about him all together.

But that’s not why Penelope’s here.

So, they just stand there in silence, and Josie wonders why people say cigarettes help take the edge off because all it’s doing right now is making her feel like she needs more of something, anything.

Penelope hails a cab when Josie reaches the end of her cigarette and Josie doesn’t question it when Penelope opens the door for her and follows her into the car before listing off Josie’s address to the driver.

The silence continues through the drive home, and Penelope follows Josie up to her apartment and Josie doesn’t stop her. She walks inside and hears Penelope close the door behind them and Josie almost laughs when she thinks about how this night started. How Josie’s worries had been about convincing her family to believe this ridiculous lie.

Maybe she’s not that far from her father after all. Just lying to her family to save face and keep her world as selfishly suited to her as possible.

Josie turns around to face Penelope, who is standing awkwardly by the front door, “So, should I be expecting the rest of the bar to know about all of this tomorrow?”

Penelope frowns, “What?”

Josie’s not even sure she believes it herself, but she continues, that need to just feel something _else_ nagging at her, turning her into someone she isn’t. “You can’t expect me to believe you’re not just going to report all of this back to anyone who will listen.” 

Penelope stares at her, “You really think that’s something I’d do?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Josie steps over to Penelope, “Why are you even doing any of this if it isn’t just to use it all against me?”

Penelope doesn’t answer, her eyes falling to where Josie’s fingers now trail across the waistband of her pants, hooking under it and pulling her closer.

“I’m already sleeping with you, Penelope.” Josie murmurs, leaning in so her lips ghost Penelope’s, “You can drop the nice-girl act.”

Penelope’s jaw tightens, and she looks away from Josie, “You’re upset.” Her hands reach for Josie’s wrists, but Josie just pulls her closer again, their fronts now pressed together.

“And?”

Penelope’s eyes drop to her lips for barely a second, “ _And_ , it’s probably not a good idea right now.”

“You didn’t care when you were fucking me in the bathroom.”

Penelope pulls back at the harsh response, and Josie wants so badly for her to fight back. To deliver some snarky response that, as Penelope Park, she _should_. But instead, she just says, “Maybe I should have.”

And it’s completely the opposite of what Josie wants. What Josie needs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Penelope asks, and there’s sincerity in her voice, and what Josie thinks might be _pity_ , and her anger only grows. Because in what world does _Penelope Park_ actually care about anything past her self-interest? She’s probably already texted half their co-workers about Josie’s dad and this whole pathetic act she’s signed up for.

There’s a lump in Josie’s throat, and the thought of letting _Penelope Park_ see her break makes her skin crawl. So she retaliates in the only real way she knows how.

She pulls back from Penelope, “With _you_?” Josie scoffs, “No, I don’t.”

“Josie–”

“You’re not actually my girlfriend, Penelope.” Josie says sharply, “We’re not together and we’re not friends so _no_ , I don’t want to talk to you about anything.”

If Josie weren’t convinced Penelope couldn’t feel such an emotion, she’d swear the other girl looks hurt by the response.

“What do you even want from me?” Josie says, and it’s almost desperate. Because she can’t deal with how Penelope looks so taken aback and she can’t deal with the idea that she should even be thinking about _this_ now and she just wishes she could go about life without anyone ever expecting anything. “What are you _doing_ here?”

Penelope’s mouth hangs open slightly, “I don’t know.” She says, and then she lets out a small, empty laugh, “You’re right. Sorry.” Green eyes still watch Josie too closely as she speaks, “I guess I’ll go, then.”

She hovers there, like she’s waiting for Josie to stop her. But Josie just stares back defiantly. Waits her out.

And then Penelope expels a defeated sigh, and she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you click outta here, leave a comment and let me know your thoughts!
> 
> twt: saltzpen


	6. Chapter 6

Despite Josie’s protests, her mom comes by the next day to help her get Alaric to a train station and back to Mystic Falls. It’s easier than it would have been without her; less attempts on Alaric’s part to make amends and spin falsehoods about how he _‘really doesn’t have a problem’_ and ‘ _just has to let loose every now and then_ ’. With Caroline there, he just settles for an apology and an unconvincing claim that the next time Josie sees him, he’ll have his shit together.

He asks Josie to call him more often and Josie says she will, and while she wishes it weren’t the case, she knows full-well that such is unlikely. Because at least when Josie doesn’t completely know what is happening in Alaric’s life, she can convince herself that he’s at least trying to get better.

Even with her mother there to make the process go smoothly, when they get back to Josie’s apartment Josie feels exhausted. She sits at her kitchen island while Caroline makes them coffee, and Josie rests her head in her hands as she watches, thinking not for the first time how she never should have left Mystic Falls.

“Do I need to come home?” she asks when Caroline pushes a steaming mug towards her.

Caroline’s answer is exactly what Josie expects. “All you need to do is go to school and live your life the way _you_ want to.”

“He’s not getting any better, Mom.” Josie says.

“Maybe not. But he does seem to actually _want_ to, lately. Which is something new.” Caroline says, “I think Lizzie’s engagement is making him realize how much he’s missing.”

“So… wouldn’t it make sense for me to move back home? At least then he’d have someone there with him.”

“He has plenty of people with him.”

“Not really, though. You have Stefan, Damon and Elena have their own family to worry about…” Josie sighs, “Maybe if I was home–”

“You’re _not_ moving back home.” Caroline’s tone is final, and Josie instinctively sinks in her seat, feeling like she’s six years old again being told she can’t keep playing with the matches. “I know you love him. We all do. But you’ve given up enough trying to help him, and you know he wouldn’t want you to throw your life away in Mystic Falls just to look out for him.”

Josie stares at her mug of coffee stubbornly, letting her silence be the acquiescence her mother is after.

“You have a life here, Josie. You have school, a job, friends… Penelope. You worked so hard to get here, you need to stop feeling guilty about putting yourself first.”

“I guess.” Josie’s answer is half-hearted, and she hears her mother let out a sigh.

“Where is Penelope, anyway?”

Josie purses her lips, remembering how she treated her last night. Remembering how patient and kind Penelope had been, even when Josie had given her every reason not to be. A part of her wishes Penelope had just acted the way Josie had expected of her. Been the bad guy she’s _supposed_ to be. Josie doesn’t know what to do about this version of her. Or the guilt she’s now feeling.

“I kind of messed up.”

“Josie.”

Josie sighs, running a hand through her hair, “I know. I just–” she huffs, “I didn’t want her to know about Dad. And then she was there trying to help, and it was just… too much.”

“Why didn’t you want her to know?”

“Because, it’s… embarrassing. Personal. She kept looking at me like she felt _sorry_ for me.”

“And?” Caroline lets out a sad laugh, “Honey, she cares about you. Don’t you think it’s normal for her to be concerned?”

Josie shifts, unsure how to really navigate this conversation when her mother is missing the key bit of information that Penelope isn’t _supposed_ to care about her.

“I guess.” She mutters out in answer, and Caroline seems satisfied with it, for now.

“Alright, well. I’m going to meet Lizzie and Hope for lunch.” She declares, collecting her jacket before turning a stern look on her daughter, “ _You_ get ready for work and practice apologizing to your girlfriend.”

* * *

When Josie walks into the bar that afternoon, Penelope only glances up at her briefly before turning her attention back to where she’s polishing glasses. And for the first time, Josie actually _wishes_ Penelope were outside wasting the first thirty-minutes of her shift smoking, because at least that would be normal.

Josie awkwardly starts bringing seats down from tables, glancing over to Penelope every other minute, and she never thought she’d be unhappy with silence from Penelope, but this feels so cold that Josie actually misses the snark.

“I’m sorry for last night.” Josie says eventually, and Penelope’s eyes immediately snap to her, surprise written across her face, “The way I talked to you… it was unfair.”

Penelope takes a moment, but then she shrugs, “You were telling the truth. We’re not actually together. We don’t owe each other anything.”

And really, that should be that. But it isn’t.

“I was harsh, though.” Josie argues, “And you were trying to be nice.”

“That doesn’t sound like me.”

Josie thinks it’s a joke, but there’s almost a bitterness to Penelope’s tone when she says it.

“It’s fine.” Penelope says then, this time more firmly, “Really. You’re right, we’re not friends. We’re not… anything. Getting that confused would be stupid.”

It’s not a lie but something about it unsettles Josie.

“I guess.” She agrees weakly.

Penelope hesitates over something, and she starts polishing glasses again. “I was thinking, anyway.” She says, “We probably shouldn’t keep sleeping together while we’re doing this whole fake dating thing.”

You could hear a pin drop in the bar amongst the silence that follows. Josie doesn’t know where the hell Penelope got _that_ idea, but she knows she doesn’t like it.

She also doesn’t know how to respond to it, past the strained, “Really?” that she manages out.

“Yeah.” Penelope won’t look at her, eyes fixed on her task, like they’re just sharing idle conversation, “I mean, as fun as it is…. I just think it will kind of blur the lines too much, you know?”

“You think we might catch feelings?” Josie frowns, “I don’t think that’s something we need to worry about. We don’t even get along.”

Penelope purses her lips, wearing an unreadable expression, “Yeah, well, either way.”

The whole point of this thing between them was that it was convenient. Easy. Something that when it came to an end, would leave neither of them worse off than when it began.

So really, Penelope’s proposal should be easy to take on board.

But it feels like Josie’s just lost something that she didn’t know she had.

* * *

“So, when were you going to tell me that you’re dating Penelope _Park_?”

Josie doesn’t glance up from her laptop as Lizzie storms into her apartment, reminding herself yet again to change her locks.

“I’m sure we’ve already had this conversation.” She frowns at the screen, certain that the most recent comment from a classmate on her latest class submission is more passive-aggressive than productive criticism.

“No, we had a conversation about you not telling me you were dating ‘Penelope’, the hot bartender from work. We did _not_ have a conversation about you dating the heiress to the fucking Park fortune.”

That catches Josie’s attention, but she manages to mask her surprise, keeping her eyes fixed on the screen ahead of her, “Does it matter how much money she has?”

Josie had figured Penelope was from money; you don’t just casually grow up with the Mikaelson’s without that being the case. But in light of the… hiccup, between them, she’d forgotten to really ask about Penelope’s connection to Hope.

“When she’s a _Park_ , yes!” Lizzie falls down in the seat opposite Josie, and Josie gives up on her schoolwork, closing the laptop in defeat.

“Are you forgetting you’re dating a Mikaelson? You’ve already won the heiress lottery.”

“ _Engaged_ to a Mikaelson.” Lizzie corrects, “And obviously _I_ don’t want to date her.”

“Lucky me.” Josie says maybe a bit too dryly – definitely a bit too bitterly, and Lizzie gapes at her.

“I thought you were over the whole me dating your crush thing?”

Josie rolls her eyes, “Of course I am. It was a joke.” She sighs, “So is there a point to this visit or do you just want to talk about how rich Penelope may or may not be?”

“There’s no ‘may’ about it. Hope told me everything; she’s literally loaded.” Lizzie says, “And yes, there’s a point. We’re having a family dinner at that Italian mom likes in Georgetown tomorrow night, before she and Stefan go back to Mystic Falls. You in?”

“Sure.”

“You’ll bring Penelope, right?”

Josie purses her lips, “I’ll have to ask her.”

Despite her awkward exchange with Penelope yesterday, Josie’s not entirely sure that they’re still doing this thing.

“Make sure she comes. I didn’t even get to talk to her at the engagement party.”

“She might have work.” Josie lies, knowing full-well Penelope’s days off fall on the same day as her own.

(Josie’s talked to Dorian about that more than once, but their manager seems to find some kind of sick joy in putting them on the same shift schedule)

Lizzie makes a face, “What is she even doing working at that bar anyway?

“I work at ‘that bar’, too.” Josie reminds Lizzie, “Careful with the judgement.”

“I’m not judging, it’s just weird. Why would you choose to serve drunk idiots for a living when you’re rich enough to not work a day in your life? It’s not like she needs money for school.” Lizzie says, “You’ve never asked her about that?”

Josie has no real idea how to respond, given she has no real idea about _anything_ to do with Penelope’s surprise title of heiress. And the fact that she doesn’t know what Hope knows makes lying about anything risky.

“We haven’t really talked about her past that much.” Josie answers honestly.

“That’s weird.”

“Not really. It’s not like I’ve told her anything about Dad.” Josie shrugs, “She’ll tell me when she wants to.”

Lizzie doesn’t even entertain that thought, “I’m gonna do some digging.”

“Please don’t.” Although, Josie can’t lie, she _is_ kind of curious as to why Penelope is so cagey about her family.

“You deserve to know who you’re dating.”

“I do know.” Josie says, “Penelope’s past doesn’t define her. We don’t go around telling everyone about Mystic Falls.”

“I think there’s an exception when someone has grown up in one of the richest families in the country.”

“Have you spoke to Hope about this?” Josie already knows the answer will be ‘no’. Hope’s not one to encourage Lizzie when she starts getting like this.

“She was no help.” Lizzie says, taking the question the complete wrong way, “All I could get out of her was that Penelope was rebellious and then when they turned eighteen, she left New Orleans and never showed up at an event again.”

It feels sorely invasive, learning about a past that Penelope’s made obvious she’d rather avoid, and Josie doesn’t like how a part of her almost does want Lizzie to dig more into it.

“Okay, Lizzie.” Josie reaches over, grasping Lizzie’s hand and demanding her sister take her seriously, “I know you’re just trying to help me, but I really _don’t_ need to find out about Penelope’s family history from you.”

“I _am_ trying to help.” Lizzie argues, “I mean, let’s face it, your taste in partners isn’t exactly great. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t accidentally date a serial killer.”

“Lizzie.” Josie stares at her, “Please.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes, “Fine. Whatever. Date your little serial killer.” She sighs, “But she’s not getting out of answering my questions tomorrow night.”

“What questions?”

“I’m your sister. I have to make sure her intentions with you are honorable.”

(Josie already knows the answer to that is a firm ‘no’. But she refrains from telling Lizzie such.)

“Fine. But _please_ try to keep it normal. There are boundaries.”

“God, you sound just like Hope.” Lizzie looks completely put-out by the lack of enthusiasm for her plans, “I hope Penelope’s more fun than you two. I need someone else on my side for once.”

(Josie thinks there might not be anything else more terrifying than thought of Lizzie and Penelope working together.)

* * *

When Josie arrives at work that afternoon, Penelope is back to dawdling outside with a cigarette between her fingers and scrolling through her phone.

“No weed today?” Josie comments as she steps out of her Uber.

Penelope smiles falsely at her as Josie approaches, and taps her temple, “Gotta keep the mind sharp for our witty banter.”

Josie rolls her eyes and pushes open the door to the bar, “Don’t be long.”

Penelope’s response is a bored, “Yes, Ma’am.” And Josie smiles, as natural order is restored.

* * *

Josie hadn’t been sure what to expect tonight. After her awkward apology and Penelope ending the benefits side of their relationship, yesterday’s shift had been unbearable. Josie had always thought she hated how mouthy Penelope can be, but she quickly discovered how much worse a quiet Penelope is.

They’d barely spoken throughout the shift, past simple requests regarding customers. And it was… weird. Unsettling, even, to have Penelope act so indifferent towards her.

Tonight, thankfully, that seems to be behind them. Penelope is back to taking any opportunity she can to bait Josie into an argument, and Josie is back to wanting to throw a drink in her face every other minute.

And some might say that’s not a good thing, but at least this is what Josie _knows_. 

“Can I get another mojito for Table 2, please?”

Penelope looks at the glass that Josie has placed in front of her, “What’s wrong with that one?”

“She says it’s too sweet.”

“Oh my g–” Penelope rolls her eyes, “Does she know she’s at a dive bar, not the Four Seasons?”

Josie shrugs in answer, but Penelope is back to being difficult. She picks up the bottle containing lime juice, pouring some into the cocktail and swirling the straw around to mix it in.

“There.”

Josie stares at it, “I’m not taking that back to her.”

“Well _I’m_ not making another one.”

“Come on, Penelope.”

“No. Tell her to move on if she wants that kind of service. That’s an entire waste of a drink.”

Before now, Josie wouldn’t have thought anything of the remark. But knowing what she now does about Penelope’s apparent life of riches, it strikes her as bizarre that the girl even thinks about such things.

“Do I have to make it myself?” Josie says.

Penelope’s laugh is almost insulting, “Sure, Saltzman. Go for your life. Just make sure you take a picture when the bitch drinks it.” She meets Josie’s glare, smirking, “Do you even know how?”

“I doubt it’s that hard.”

“Apparently our customer would say otherwise.”

Josie huffs, “ _Please_ , Penelope. I can’t deal with another difficult customer tonight.”

Penelope gives in surprisingly easily. She eyes Josie stubbornly for a few more seconds, and then she rolls her eyes, taking the glass back and dumping it, “Alright, fine. Don’t have a breakdown on me.”

“Thank you.” Josie coos, and given Penelope’s apparently generous mood right now, she figures now is as good a time as any to make the proposal she’s been sitting on all shift. 

“My family are having a dinner tomorrow night.” She starts, watching Penelope work, “Lizzie’s basically demanded that you be there.”

Penelope looks up from the drink, grinning at Josie, “Told you people love me.”

“I think this is more of a strategic move, actually.” Josie says, elaborating when Penelope arches a brow in question, “She’s planning on doing the whole sister act. Question your intentions and whether or not you’re going to break my heart.”

“And what happens if she declares me an undesirable?”

“Death by fire.”

Penelope laughs, “Sounds exciting.”

Josie smiles, “So, can I count you–”

“Hey, _Penelope_.”

Penelope’s attention immediately leaves Josie, finding the blue eyes of a blonde that sits at the bar.

The woman wears a flirty smile, leaning over the bar as much as she can and completely unapologetic for interrupting them, “What’s your favorite drink?”

Josie rolls her eyes at the purred question, dripping with unashamed desire. Penelope, on the other hand, _lives_ for it. She laughs as she continues to work on the new mojito in front of her, “Are you buying me one if I tell you?”

The customer shrugs playfully, “Maybe.”

Penelope grins, abandoning her current drink order and walking over to her. She makes quick work, at least, as she retrieves a bottle of bourbon and fills two shot glasses before placing one of them in front of the woman and keeping another for herself.

They ‘cheers’ one another, and Josie’s lips curl into a scowl at the completely inappropriate way Penelope maintains eye-contact with the woman. Because, really. There’s eye contact and then there’s _eye contact_. And at this point Penelope might as well just fuck the woman right in the middle of the bar.

Josie doesn’t hear whatever the customer purrs out to Penelope next, but she guesses the napkin slid across the bar top and into Penelope’s hand contains a number. And while this isn’t anything new for Penelope, Josie does find herself wanting to snatch the napkin away and set it alight.

Josie stares at Penelope judgingly when she returns to her area of the bar, waiting until Penelope looks at her, “Nice.” She drawls when their eyes meet.

“Just doing my job.” Penelope pockets the napkin and Josie’s scowl deepens. At least she finally finishes off the new mojito. “So, what time should I be at yours?”

It takes a moment for Josie to realize that Penelope’s _not_ talking about coming back to her apartment tonight. She tries not to pay any mind to the measure of disappointment she feels when she does so.

“Wait, really?”

“I told you I was still in this thing.” Penelope says, reaching over the bar to place the mojito on Josie’s serving tray.

“Well, yeah, but this is a bit more than just going to the engagement party and maybe the wedding.” Josie says, “And Hope will be there.”

“Do you _not_ want me to go?”

“I don’t really _want_ any of this.” Josie says, “But yeah. It’d be easier if you did come.”

“Great. Then I’ll be there.” Penelope pushes the tray towards Josie, “Now quit slacking and do your job.”

Josie flips her off before she leaves, hearing Penelope’s laugh behind her as she goes.

* * *

Penelope arrives at Josie’s apartment the next evening so that they can travel to the restaurant together.

She’s less dressed up than the night of the engagement party, but it’s still jarring seeing her without the messy, hungover look she’s usually donning at work. Penelope’s hair is braided at one side tonight, and she wears tight black jeans and heeled boots, a leather jacket thrown over a strappy silver top.

Josie thinks it’s unfair, really. That Penelope shows up looking like this after she’s taken sex off the table.

“Is this how you usually dress?” Josie asks when she ushers Penelope out of her apartment, having caught herself staring one too many times already.

Penelope throws her an amused smile over her shoulder, “Is that your way of saying I look good?”

Josie shrugs, locking her door before following Penelope towards the stairwell, “It’s just different.”

“Well beer-soaked tank tops and shitty jeans aren’t exactly my go-to when I’m out of work.”

“Right.” Josie nods. Because of course.

When they’re outside her building, waiting on the Uber to pull up, Penelope looks over at her with a smirk. Green eyes trail over Josie pointedly before meeting her gaze, “You look _different_ , too.”

Josie doesn’t know what to say to that, really. Because again, this is that different version of Penelope. The one that looks at her with something in her eyes that Josie’s never noticed there before. The one that isn’t trying to bait her with snarky comments that Josie _knows_ how to respond to.

And it’s unsettling, realizing there’s this other side to Penelope. Finding out that she might not have as good a grasp on this entire thing as she thought she did.

Josie’s not sure who initiates it, but when they arrive at the restaurant, she finds her hand in Penelope’s, fingers linked as they move inside. Stefan and Caroline are already there, and Lizzie and Hope arrive soon after. Penelope seems at ease, as she navigates her way through greetings. Her interactions with Hope are stiffer, like neither are quite sure where they stand with one another, after so long apart.

At first, dinner goes smoothly. Basic, excited discussion about the engagement party monopolizes most of the first course.

It’s oddly easy, falling into this persona. Casting her eyes to Penelope when she’s in conversation with others, sharing small signs of affection here and there – a hand through raven hair or fingers clasped together on the tabletop. Josie tells herself the parts that others can’t see – the knee touching Josie’s under the table or the hand resting on a thigh – are all just more of the act.

Penelope and Hope grow slightly more comfortable as time passes, and Josie thinks she can see whatever friendship they once had begin to trickle into their conversation. A familiar joke here and shared, knowledgeable looks there.

Josie doesn’t know how she feels about it. She also doesn’t know why she feels _any_ way about it.

Penelope’s reaching for a piece of pizza when Hope’s hand snaps out and catches her wrist. Penelope doesn’t even flinch at the contact, just arches a brow at her once-friend and allows Hope to pull her wrist closer.

Josie frowns, eyes fixed on where Hope’s touching Penelope. And again, she doesn’t know why but she knows she doesn’t like it. It takes her a few moments to realize Hope is looking at the tattoo that’s peaked out of Penelope’s sleeve as she’s reached for the pizza, and then that discomfort settles slightly. But then Hope’s other hand traces fingers over the tattoo delicately, over the black lines of the patterned band that wraps around her wrist.

“When did you get this?”

Penelope shrugs, “A few years ago.”

“It’s pretty.” Hope stares at it, “I didn’t know you wanted tattoos.”

“Well, I couldn’t have that information getting back to Mistress Park, could I?”

Hope laughs, “But her reaction would be one for the ages.”

The pair share a smile, filled with familiarity and shared history that Josie isn’t privy to.

“She has a few.” Josie says, pulling the pair’s attention away from one another. She doesn’t understand why she felt the need to say it; or why she feels a certain satisfaction in knowing such a fact where Hope doesn’t.

Penelope gives her a weird look, then lets out a soft, awkward laugh.

“We get it, Josie. You’ve seen her naked.” Lizzie drawls, and Josie’s cheeks immediately burn.

“ _Lizzie._ ” Caroline scolds her daughter, but then she turns and sends Josie a wink and Josie just sinks into her seat, mortified. “Personally, I like tattoos. Stefan has some, too. Hey babe?”

Stefan looks up from his food, smiling at Penelope, “A couple.”

Josie purses her lips, stifling a laugh at the very-much fake interest Penelope shows in response to her mother’s attempt to bridge interests.

She thinks they might just get through this dinner without a hitch; but of course, Lizzie’s just been biding her time. Lulling Penelope into a false sense of security before she strikes.

“So, _Penelope_.” Lizzie’s eyes fix on her, and Josie prepares for the worst, “Why bartending?”

Penelope looks like she’s expecting it to be a trick question – which in Lizzie’s case, it probably is, “Uh… I don’t know, really. It’s fun, most of the time. And the tips are great, which helps with school.” Her eyes find Josie, “The company’s not too bad either.”

Josie would probably roll her eyes at how her mom immediately melts at that, if she weren’t too busy trying to smother the infatuated teenage girl that has apparently made a home inside of her and is actually _buying_ Penelope’s bullshit.

Lizzie barely bats an eyelid, focused on her mission, “I wouldn’t think a Park would need help with paying for school.”

Hope’s attention snaps up from her food, a sharp look immediately trained on her fiancé, “ _Lizzie_.”

Josie notices how Penelope stiffens beside her, and she’s not sure if it’s part of the act when she reaches to rest a reassuring hand on Penelope’s thigh under the table.

“What? It’s just a question.” Lizzie shrugs, “You don’t have to answer, obviously.”

Penelope’s jaw tightens, but then she releases a soft, awkward laugh, “It’s fine.” She says to Hope, before answering Lizzie, “I’m putting myself through college.”

Lizzie makes a face, “ _Why_?”

“Lizzie, stop.” Josie bites out.

Lizzie seems to find her restraint when she looks at Hope, who is staring her down like she’s most definitely going to end up on the couch tonight.

Penelope apparently has more patience than the both of them, “I could bore you with the details, but,” she smiles, although it’s forced, “Let’s just say my connection to my family starts and ends with my last name, these days.”

Hope wears an expression of understanding, like this information doesn’t surprise her in the slightest. A selfish part of Josie resents her for it– which really makes no sense, considering it’s not like Josie has ever even _tried_ to get to know Penelope in such a way.

It’s Caroline who moves to save the conversation, steering it back to more comfortable territory, “So how did you two meet, anyway?” she cradles her head in her hands, sending a sweet toothy smile to Penelope, “Getting Josie to fess up has been like pulling teeth.”

Penelope relaxes in her seat slightly, “Really?” she grins over at Josie as she takes a sip from her wine glass, no doubt thinking of the _real_ way they met.

Josie squeezes Penelope’s thigh in warning – and then remembers her hand is unnecessarily resting on Penelope’s thigh. She promptly resettles it back in her own lap.

“Well, we met through work. Which you already know.” Penelope starts, “And Josie basically hated me from the moment my first shift started.”

They’d rehearsed this part the night that they’d prepared for the engagement party; stay as close to the truth as possible and there’s less of a risk of them slipping up.

“No, I didn’t.” Josie argues, and Penelope laughs.

“Right. Sorry. She hated me after the first ten minutes of my shift.”

“After _Penelope_ had made it clear that she was intending on doing as little work as possible.”

Penelope shrugs, smirking at Josie, “Work smart, not hard.”

“Even that requires you to work more than you do.”

Penelope glares playfully at Josie, a hand reaching to squeeze Josie’s side and making her squirm in her seat, “ _Anyway_ ,” she continues, “I thought Josie needed loosen up and she thought I needed to _grow_ up. We were at each other’s throats until the Christmas party last year. And then I guess… things changed between us. And we started spending more time together and eventually it turned into something more.”

It’s odd, hearing Penelope string the lie out loud. Hearing how really, they’ve only been a few key points away from this actually being a genuine thing.

“So, what made you change your mind?” Lizzie asks.

“I… don’t know. I guess we just got to know each other better.”

“There must be a moment, though. When you realized you liked her?”

“I think it just happened slowly.” Josie contributes, hand finding Penelope’s on the tabletop.

“You don’t just wake up and stop hating someone, though. There’s always a moment.”

“Does it really matter, Lizzie?” Josie sighs, not bothering to censor the irritation in her tone.

“Well it’s not exactly the best foundation for a relationship.”

Penelope seems to find her usual wit then, “You and Hope seem to have done okay.”

“ _Excuse me_?” Lizzie doesn’t look happy about that response, and her eyes dart to Josie, clearly blaming her for telling Penelope about the history of her and Hope’s relationship.

“Weren’t you two kind of enemies?” Penelope quirks a brow, “So when did things change for _you_? When was your ‘moment’?”

Lizzie stares at her, eyes slowly narrowing, and Josie just _knows_ her sister is enjoying this. “Miss Mystic Falls.” She answers, “I’d only just found out that the reason I’d hated Hope for so long was…” her gaze moves to Josie, and ancient guilt stirs in her stomach, “Based on a lie.”

Josie feels Penelope look at her, but she turns her attention to her food, ears red.

Lizzie continues, thankfully skirting past the topic, “Hope’s boyfriend ditched her for petty reasons, and she was left on the dancefloor without a date. I stepped in without even thinking.” Her expression softens as she looks to Hope, “And… yeah. That was the moment I realized the way I felt about her was different.”

The delivery seems to have saved Lizzie her night on the couch, if the besotted smile on Hope’s face is anything to go by.

Of course, because it’s Lizzie, she doesn’t forget her actual intentions, eyes moving back to Penelope, “So? How about you?”

The challenge hangs in the air between them, and Josie is ready to cut-in and divert the conversation elsewhere when Penelope surprises her.

“I messed up once at work, quite badly.” She says, “I didn’t lock-up properly after close, and because it’s Downtown, obviously the next day we came into the bar being absolutely trashed. Lost about a month’s worth of alcohol.”

Josie had expected Penelope to make something up to appease Lizzie, so she’s equally as curious as everyone else at the table when she realizes Penelope’s retelling an actual event.

“Dorian, our manager, wanted me gone. Hell, I was already figuring out my next steps, expecting to get fired.” She says, “But then… I didn’t. And Dorian gave me a second chance.” Penelope glances to Josie, and she looks uncomfortable as she tells the story. “I found out later that the _reason_ I got that chance was Josie.”

It surprises Josie that Penelope even _knows_ this. And that she’s known this and has never actually brought it up to Josie.

“Like I said before, Josie couldn’t stand me. I pretty much made most shifts hell for her. Really, she had every reason to sit back and watch me lose my job. So it was strange, hearing that she was the one to convince Dorian to let me stay.” Penelope shrugs, “I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Josie to bring it up. Use it against me or something. I’m not really… used to people doing things without there being some kind of catch. But this time… there wasn’t. She never mentioned it. Before then, I’d had this idea of who Josie was. But that was different. And I guess if you’re asking about a ‘moment’… that was it. When things changed for me. When I realized she was more than what I'd thought, and I wanted to know the whys and the hows behind it.” 

Josie doesn’t really know what to say to that. She just stares at Penelope, attempting to find some trace of insincerity. She’s not sure if she’s relieved when Penelope reverts back to her usual smirk, the stiffness to her shoulders easing as she meets Lizzie’s gaze, clearly satisfied that she’s met her challenge.

Lizzie shrugs, “My story’s cuter.”

And Penelope laughs and Josie reminds herself that this is all just part of the act; that it’s natural to get confused by kind words and a pretty smile. That at the end of the day, the confused skip of her heart beat is fleeting and none of this means anything once they’re back to reality – where she and Penelope are little more than a once-convenient fling between co-workers who really don’t care much for one another. That this is _safe_ , and there are no uninvited feelings to worry about here.

“Okay.” Caroline demands the attention of the table back to her, “Now if _Lizzie_ is done making Penelope regret agreeing to meet us all, how about we order some dessert?”

Penelope catches Josie’s eye and winks at her, and Josie’s cheeks flush as she’s forced to look elsewhere.

And yeah. This is fine.

Josie has all of this completely under control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment below and make my email inbox happy ✌️
> 
> twt: saltzpen


	7. Chapter 7

“Well, _that_ was intense.” Penelope says when she and Josie step out of the restaurant later that evening. She’s already pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her jacket pocket as she goes. “I feel like I’ve been tricked. Everyone was so easy at the engagement party.”

Josie laughs as she follows Penelope out to the curb, “I told you Lizzie’s overbearing.” she says, and when Penelope turns to face her, she reaches over, removing the unlit cigarette from between Penelope’s lips, “Can you at least wait until we’re a block away?”

Penelope pouts as Josie pockets the cigarette, but she doesn’t retrieve another one, “I can’t tell if your sister loves me or hates me.”

“I think that’s her goal.”

“Fair.” Penelope shrugs, and an amused smile traces her lips, “It was fun seeing you get all defensive over me, though. Nice to see that glare sent to someone that isn’t me, for once.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “I was defending my fake-girlfriend. Not you.”

“Still hot.”

Penelope steps closer suddenly, and Josie’s eyes widen when Penelope’s fingers hook through the loops of her jeans and pull her into her. Her breath hitches as Penelope tilts her head up, lips ghosting Josie’s.

“Incoming.” Penelope murmurs, and Josie’s too distracted by how close Penelope is to really pay any mind to it, eyes closing as she leans in.

When she kisses her, the softness of it surprises Josie. With Penelope, it’s always been heated and angry kisses; a feverish precursor to getting their clothes off of one another. This isn’t like that. There’s a sweetness to it, an innocence that makes Josie’s heart skip like she’s some teenager who has never been kissed before.

“Okay, lovebirds. Clear the way.”

Penelope pulls away from Josie at Lizzie’s teasing remark, smiling over Josie’s shoulder at her. She captures Josie’s hand as she steps back, and Josie manages to gather herself enough to smile as looks over to find Lizzie with Hope, Stefan and her mother.

She tries to hide her disappointment as the reason for the kiss registers.

Caroline insists on a second round of goodbyes before she and Stefan climb into an Uber, and eventually Lizzie and Hope do the same, leaving Josie and Penelope out on the curb alone once again. Penelope steps over to Josie and Josie almost thinks she’s going to kiss her again, but instead she reaches into Josie’s pocket, retrieving the confiscated cigarette.

Josie watches her curiously, “You’re good at this.”

“Smoking?” Penelope mumbles out as she lights the cigarette.

“No. Pretending we’re together.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I guess it’s what I asked for.”

Penelope tilts her head, but she doesn’t say anything. They dawdle outside, presumably waiting for Penelope to finish her cigarette before they call it a night. Josie realizes that she doesn’t actually want to.

“What are you doing now?”

Penelope quirks a brow, “Didn’t I cut you off?”

“I didn’t mean it like _that_.” Josie rolls her eyes.

“I know.” Penelope says, amused anyway, “I hadn’t really planned that far ahead. Drinking was on the cards, though.”

Josie nods, and she doesn’t get why she feels so awkward in _this_ conversation, given the general humiliation of the reason they’re even here tonight. “Well… would you like company?”

“Is _Josie Saltzman_ asking to hang out with me?”

“Not if you get weird about it.”

Penelope grins, “You’re not scared I’ll corrupt you?”

“I feel like we passed that point a while back.”

Penelope studies her for a beat, and then she lets out a soft laugh, “Alright, Saltzman.” She says, “But it’s getting harder to believe you hate me that much.”

Josie doesn’t give Penelope the pleasure of telling her that yeah… it’s getting harder for Josie to believe that, too.

* * *

They end up at the park, because the last thing Josie wants to do on her night-off work is spend her time at yet another bar. Penelope finds a middle ground between their ideal nights-off by buying a bottle of alcohol off of the restaurant before they leave.

“I’m pretty sure you can get fined for drinking in public.” Josie says as they walk along the path, eyeing the bottle Penelope is uncapping.

It’s at least hidden away in a paper bag – but even still, a bottle in a paper bag is hardly subtle.

“Only if you get caught.” Penelope holds the bottle out to Josie, “Would you like to do the honors?”

Josie sighs, accepting it and immediately catching the scent of the liquor as she lifts the bottle to her lips, “Why’s it always whiskey?”

“I’m not crediting that question with an answer.”

Josie throws back a generous amount of it anyway, throat burning as it travels down her throat, “If we get caught, you’re paying the fine.”

“I’m here all the time. Trust me, no one is paying attention.”

“You walk around the park getting drunk all the time?”

“ _No_.” Penelope rolls her eyes, “Well, sometimes. If I have company. Otherwise I just end up here after a night out. The amount of shit I’ve seen? Drinking is nothing. So long as you’re discreet, no one will give a shit.”

Josie’s only really paid attention to one part of that statement, “So this is where you bring your hook-ups.”

Penelope snorts, “God, no. Usually the idea there is to get them into bed, not further away from one.” 

“Classy.”

Although, a part of Josie is relieved by the response.

She watches as Penelope takes the bottle back from her, wondering if she should start getting used to being wrong in her assumptions about Penelope.

“So, who told you that I saved your job?”

Penelope doesn’t look very happy that Josie’s mentioning it, her smile faltering, “MG, obviously. He used to bring it up every time I’d complain about you.” She says, and while her tone sounds like it’s supposed to be light-hearted, there’s something strained to it.

“Why’d you never tell me you knew?”

“I figured the reason you weren’t rubbing it in my face is because you didn’t _want_ me to know. Or you regretted it.”

“Only sometimes.” Josie grins as Penelope bumps her shoulder in response.

“Well… thank you.”

Josie still doesn’t know what to do with this sincere version of Penelope Park. Just knows that the soft smile she wears sometimes makes Josie’s stomach flip and her cheeks feel hotter.

“So, what was that about Hope and Lizzie?”

Josie frowns as she takes her turn drinking from the bottle, “What?”

“At dinner, there was a weird moment. Lizzie was saying she hated Hope because of a lie… and it kind of sounded like it had something to do with you.”

The falter in Josie’s steps gives her away, “Oh. That.”

She decides a more generous swig of the whiskey is in order.

“That serious, huh?”

“No. I mean… it was. Now we’re behind it.” Although, the reminder still brings forth the same guilt as it used to.

“Are you sure about that?”

“It’s just not something I’m proud of.”

Penelope nods, “I know that feeling.”

“I can’t imagine you regretting anything.”

“It happens. Rarely, but it happens.” Penelope smiles over at her, “You don’t need to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“No. It’s okay.” Josie surprises herself with the answer, “Well, you already know I used to have feelings for Hope.”

“‘Used to’ is an odd choice of words.”

“Do you want the story or not?”

“Sorry. Go on.”

And she doesn’t know why, but she does.

She tells Penelope about being in Lizzie’s shadow, and always feeling like the second choice after her sister. About how when Hope came into their lives, Josie had fallen for her as hard as a young girl really is capable of. How she saw those same feelings in Lizzie’s eyes and got scared and jealous, and told a lie that she knew would stop Lizzie from ever looking Hope’s way again.

About how that lie carried an entire rivalry between Lizzie and Hope for years.

And even with the shame and the guilt that still makes her feel sick to this day, Josie’s surprised at how easy it actually is to tell Penelope. There’s no judgment sent her way as she describes using Lizzie’s insecurities to selfishly guard herself from being hurt. No sense that Penelope thinks any differently of her.

When she finishes telling her, Penelope is silent for long enough that Josie starts growing nervous that maybe she’s just so shocked at the person Josie’s turned out to be that she can’t even speak.

“So… yeah.” Josie kicks at a rock, watching it scatter ahead on the footpath, “And now they’re literally getting married, so basically I kept my sister from her soulmate for years.”

Penelope snorts, “Come on, you were a kid.” She hands Josie the bottle, “I mean, yeah, it’s shitty. But who’s to say if that all hadn’t have happened, they’d even be together now?”

Josie’s not exactly convinced. “That’s one way to look at it, I guess.”

“It’s hard enough being a kid as it is. Feeling like you’re in someone’s shadow…” Penelope shrugs, “You’re not defined by one selfish act you made because of it.” 

“You sound like you’re talking from experience.”

A soft laugh falls from Penelope, “Maybe.”

“Right.” Josie watches a group of people walking along the pathway up ahead, mind straying to what little she knows about Penelope. Curiosity nagging at her again, wanting to know more. Wanting to know what else she’s been wrong about. What else might surprise her about Penelope.

“What’re you thinking about?”

“The fact that I don’t actually know anything about you.” Josie says, and then she feels the need to cover herself, to make it be about more than just simple curiosity. Because if it isn’t, there’s something else happening right now that Josie hasn’t asked for. “Just… at dinner… you and Hope have a history. She really knows you.”

“She knows who I used to be.”

“Still. If I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, shouldn’t I at least know _some_ of that stuff? It’s only a matter of time before I end up in a conversation with her about you and she realizes I know almost nothing.”

Penelope leans over, swiping the bottle back from Josie, and now when they walk, their hands are brushing between them. If Penelope notices, she doesn’t seem to mind. And Josie doesn’t feel the urge to move away.

“You only need to know what Hope knows.”

Josie feels a twinge of disappointment but doesn’t disagree, “Okay.”

“It’s really not that interesting.”

“Still.”

Penelope’s jaw tightens, and Josie can see how close she is to telling her to back off and pushing their conversation somewhere else, “What _do_ you already know?”

Josie shrugs, watching as Penelope drinks from the bottle, “Just what Lizzie told me. That you’re the heir to some insane fortune, and that you left New Orleans after high school and never went back.”

Penelope nods, “Yeah. That’s about right.” she tilts her head, “Well, that was easy–”

“ _Penelope_.” Josie catches Penelope’s wrist, bringing them to a halt, “Please.”

Green eyes narrow at Josie’s hold, and Penelope sighs, “My family are a bunch of rich sociopaths. There’s not that much more to it.”

“Okay, well why don’t we start with the basics.” Josie says, and she releases Penelope, taking the bottle back before continuing their walk, “Where did the Park family fortune come from?”

“You can Google that.”

Josie glares back at her, stubbornly waiting her out until Penelope rolls her eyes and provides an answer.

“Real estate.” She answers, “That’s how they’re close to the Mikaelson’s. Hope’s family has been doing business with mine since the beginning of fucking time.”

“So, you really _did_ grow up together.”

“Basically, except for when Hope was off at boarding school growing up with _you_.”

Josie attempts to picture a younger Hope and Penelope running about New Orleans together, “What was it like? You and Hope. Were you close?”

“I guess.” Penelope shrugs, “When you’re growing up in that kind of community, nearly everyone is some brand of pretentious asshole. Hope wasn’t.”

Josie smiles, “Yeah, she never really did the diva thing.”

Penelope looks slightly annoyed speaking about it, and her answer is to steal the bottle back from Josie for a heavier sip than the others. “All of the Mikaelson’s were different. They have this ‘family above all’ thing that usually you’d think is complete bullshit, but with them it was real. When we were younger, I hated Hope for it. Seeing her surrounded by all these people who loved her so much… I don’t know. I guess I was jealous.” She shrugs, “But then we became friends, and Hope brought me into it. Made me feel like I was one of them.” 

“So, she was your best friend.”

“I guess.” Penelope agrees “I mean, I had plenty of friends. Hope was just the only one I didn’t have to play a part with. I could just hang out with her without having to be Penelope _Park_.”

“So, why’d you lose contact?”

Something like guilt crosses Penelope’s features, “There’s no middle-ground with that life. When I left, I was leaving everything.”

“I find it hard to believe Hope would have just let you run off into the sunset.”

“She didn’t.” Penelope says, “I just… cut her out.” 

Josie recognizes the pained expression on Penelope’s face; it’s not far from her own, when she’s forced to think of Mystic Falls and leaving her dad behind. She lets Penelope decide whether to continue; waits, quietly as they walk, as Penelope retrieves a cigarette and lights it between her lips.

“This is far more than ‘basic’, you know.” Penelope points out.

Something crosses her features, and she steps off of the path, Josie watching as Penelope saunters over to the grass and plants herself down. She doesn’t say anything, just waits until Josie moves to join her. Penelope lies down on her back, completely relaxed, while Josie sits cross-legged, still on the look-out for any patrolling cops ready to stumble upon them.

“Have we hit the quota on personal questions for the night?”

Penelope looks over at Josie, shrugging, “Depends what else you’re planning on asking.”

Josie thinks for a moment, “What about siblings?”

“What about them?”

Josie rolls her eyes, “How many do you have?”

“Five.” Penelope’s expression doesn’t even change, and it irks Josie how detached she seems from her own family. Something that for Josie, is near impossible to imagine. “Four sisters and a brother.”

“Wow.” Josie knew she had siblings, but it’s hard to picture Penelope running around a home with five of them. “That’s a lot.”

“They’re all older than me. We were never close.”

Josie’s sure the amount of whiskey she’s drank tonight plays a part, but the response sits heavy on her. Feels so… sad. That even among whatever it was that made Penelope flee New Orleans, she didn’t have allies in her brothers and sisters.

Josie sighs, moving to lie on her back, letting Penelope finish her cigarette in peace before she decides to move the conversation elsewhere. “Did you ever play twenty questions as a kid?”

Penelope laughs loudly, “I’m insulted that you even think that’s a possibility.”

“Oh, whatever. I bet you had an awkward phase at _some_ point.”

“Do I _look_ like the type of person that needed to play twenty-questions to get into someone’s pants?” Penelops gestures at herself in a way that is almost comical, given the drunken laziness to the action.

Josie laughs, “Right. I doubt you looked like _this_ when you were a teen.”

“No, I’ve definitely always been this good looking.”

“Were you also always this arrogant?”

“Oh, no.” Penelope’s grin is wicked, her head lolling to the side to meet Josie’s gaze. “That only developed after you slept with me.”

Josie’s stomach does that annoying little somersault it keeps doing when she gets distracted by how pretty Penelope is – especially right now, with the light of the moon reflecting on green eyes. She turns her attention back to the sky when she realizes lying this close to Penelope is bringing with it some whiskey-fuelled thoughts that she’s not supposed to have.

“I know for fact _that_ isn’t true.” Josie drawls, “And do you really need to bring that up at every opportunity?”

“Can’t have you forgetting now, can I?”

Josie saves Penelope the ego-stroke of telling her that there’s no way in hell she’ll ever forget it. Or that Josie’s still feeling dejected that it’s something she just has to _remember_ now.

Penelope sits up slightly, nearly finishing the bottle on her next swig. When she’s done, she hands it over to Josie, “Last one’s on you.”

Josie doesn’t argue, sitting up and finishing off the rest of it. She eyes the bottle when she’s done. “My dad’s a whiskey drinker.”

It falls from her without her meaning to actually say it. Without knowing it was even really on her mind.

Penelope seems equally surprised – likely because Josie just about bit her head off the last time her dad’s existence was a topic between them. “Oh.”

There’s silence, but it doesn’t feel awkward, even as it drags out.

“What’s that like for you?” Penelope asks, “Drinking, when you know…”

Josie shrugs, “I don’t usually think about it, I guess. I mean… I _do_.” She frowns, “But it’s different. I think the reasons for it… that’s what makes it different. If that makes any sense. I’m not drinking for the same reasons he does.” She expels a sigh, discarding the bottle to her side and moving to lie back down next to Penelope, “Okay. Twenty questions.”

Penelope’s groan is loud, and far more dramatic than necessary, “Are you just going to ask me about my family?”

“No family questions. I promise.” Josie giggles, rolling onto her side to look at Penelope, “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

Penelope thinks on it, glancing to Josie with a narrowed gaze, “Alright, Saltzman. Do your worst.”

Josie rests her head on her hand, her other hand picking at the grass between them as she determines what she actually wants to know. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Seriously? _That’s_ what you want to know?”

Josie just shrugs in answer, waiting until Penelope finally decides to play along.

“Red. I look good in it. You?”

“That counts as one of your questions.” Josie points out, “I like yellow.”

“Huh.” Penelope makes a face, like it makes sense to her, “I guess you wear it a lot.”

Josie frowns at the fact that Penelope’s even noticed, but moves onto her next question. “Movie or book?”

“Book. And these are terrible questions. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

“I already told you that.”

“ _Really?_ The worst thing you’ve ever done is lie to your twin sister about Hope?” Penelope laughs, “Saltzman, we need to get you outside more.”

“Well you already have me drinking in public, so give it time. I’m sure it’s all downhill from here.” Josie’s never noticed how when Penelope smiles, her eyes do too. “Where do you want to be in five years?”

“Not bartending, that’s for sure.”

“I thought you liked it?”

Penelope scoffs, head turning to send Josie an incredulous look, “I can definitely think of better ways to spend my time than pouring frat bros shots every weekend.”

“Oh, please.” Josie rolls her eyes, “People practically fall over themselves to flirt with you at work. You love it.”

“Believe it or not, it does get repetitive.” Penelope says, “It’s fun for now. Not forever. What about you?”

“The same, I guess. Although there aren’t exactly many gigs out there for writers, so I’ll probably be working at the bar until I die.”

“I’m not sure the climate’s that great for majors in Gender and Women’s Studies, either.” Penelope laughs, “So you might be stuck fighting with me over cocktails forever.”

It strikes Josie that the thought doesn’t sound completely horrible. “You know– I don’t even know why I’m like that with you.” Josie says, “I’m nice. To _everyone_. Even when I don’t want to be.”

“It’s because you like me.”

Josie’s heart quite literally stops at the remark, but then Penelope’s laughing, as though even the thought of it is hilariously far from reality.

And… it _is_ , isn’t it?

Josie reaches over, pushing at Penelope’s shoulder, “I hate you.”

Penelope’s laughter ebbs, a sigh escaping her, “I know.”

“Okay, how about kids?” Josie asks, more just wanting to get away from this topic.

“How about them?” Penelope looks to her, grinning at Josie’s pointed glare, “You’re asking if I want them?”

“Clearly.”

Penelope sobers, thinking for a moment, “I think so.” She says eventually, “There’s always that fear, though. That you wouldn’t be cut out for it.”

“I feel like you’d do fine.”

A small, sad smile traces Penelope’s lips, “What about you?”

“Yeah. I think I do.”

“How many?”

“Twins run in my family, so if they’re going to be biologically mine, it’ll be at least two.”

“Two mini Josie Saltzman’s, huh?” Penelope lets out a whistle, “Sounds tiring.”

“Like mini-versions of _you_ wouldn’t be a nightmare.”

Penelope doesn’t try to deny her. Her grin just widens, like she’s fully aware of it. And it’s almost… endearing.

Josie must have been staring too fixatedly, as Penelope looks to her now with a confused smile, her eyes crinkling as she laughs, “What?”

“Nothing.” Josie blurts out, cheeks reddening. She rolls onto her back once more, forcing her gaze back to the sky. Only now, their sides are pressed together. “Next question.”

Penelope chuckles, “Okay. What’s your biggest fear?”

That’s an easy one. “Losing someone I love.”

Josie thinks of her dad immediately. Of what experiencing that did to him. She’d never known her biological mother; never really knew what it was like to miss anything but the idea of her. But she’d seen what losing her did to her dad. Seen what Hope went through when she lost her parents. Knows it’s not just the losing someone that she’s scared of, but what it might do to her.

Josie swallows the lump in her throat, “How about you?”

“Turning into my parents.”

The honesty of the answer takes Josie by surprise, and when she looks to Penelope, green eyes are fixed on the night sky, a furrow to her brow.

Josie takes a risk in asking the next question. “What were they like?”

Penelope’s jaw tightens, “Cold. You never really felt like you were much more than an investment, with them. My father wasn’t horrible, he was just… absent, unless we did something that he deemed ‘worthy’ of his time. My mother was… harsher. Turning us into the perfect little robot heirs was basically her pet project.” She laughs, but it’s heavy, bitter. “So, you can imagine how they felt about a kid who doesn’t do well with authority.”

Josie’s stomach dips at the thought of growing up in Penelope’s world. “Was it the same for your brothers and sisters?”

“I don’t know. It all seemed to come easier to them. I mean– I’m sure they had any shred of individuality beaten out of them, too. But I don’t know whether they… felt the same way about it as me.” Penelope shrugs, “Like I said, we weren’t close. I think Mother Dearest’s favorite move was pinning us against each other.”

It’s a foreign world to Josie. Even when she’s felt like there’s some kind of competition between her and Lizzie, there’s never been a moment where she hasn’t _known_ they’d be there for one another at the end of it all. She’s always taken that kind of loyalty and love between them as a given; something that simply comes with family.

The loneliness of the world Penelope talks about makes Josie’s heart ache, and her hand finds Penelope’s at her side. 

“I’m sorry.” She says, “You deserved more than that.”

Penelope looks down at their hands, and then she links their fingers together. “I don’t know. It wasn’t all bad.”

It doesn’t sound like anything close to the truth, but Josie doesn’t question her. They lie there in silence for a while, and Josie doesn’t know what it is exactly, but it feels like something has shifted between them. Whether it’s something falling apart or falling into place, she’s not quite sure. But it’s there, and it’s weighing on her in a way that’s hard to ignore.

Penelope turns her head to look at Josie, green eyes brimming with a deep melancholy that Josie’s never seen on her before, but that she’d do anything to take away.

“So, what happens now?” Penelope asks.

“What do you mean?”

“You and me. The engagement party’s done. What’s next for this whole thing?”

Josie realizes for the first time that she hasn’t actually thought about that. “I don’t know. I guess… nothing, until something comes up.”

“Cool.” Penelope nods, “So back to normal.”

“Yeah.” Josie fails in her attempt not to let her eyes fall to Penelope’s lips, “What exactly is ‘normal’ for us, now?” she asks, maybe a little bit too hopeful.

Penelope’s lips turn up into a smile, and she laughs, “Well, you will boss me around at work and I’ll piss you off whenever I can.”

But that’s completely _not_ what Josie was asking about. And she knows Penelope knows that.

“Is that… it?” Josie murmurs.

“I think it has to be.” Penelope says, but there’s an uncertainty in her tone that makes Josie think that if she pushed a little, she might change her mind. “Don’t you?”

Josie wants to say no. But the fact that she wants to so badly tells her all she needs to know that Penelope’s right. Because doing all of this – knowing one another in this new way – changes things. Makes thoughtless, no-strings-attached sex just that little bit riskier.

So, she nods, “I guess.”

Penelope’s pulling her hand from Josie’s then, eyes returning to the night sky once more as she releases a soft sigh.

And Josie takes a few more moments to watch her.

Stuck on the feeling that she’s just out of reach of something.

And the thought that she shouldn’t feel like anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and lmk your thoughts/feelings/what you had to eat today. 
> 
> Next chap is the start of my fave part of this fic so stay tuned :)
> 
> Twt: saltzpen


	8. Chapter 8

After the weekend of the engagement party, things do return to normal. Except for, of course, now Josie and Penelope don’t sleep together.

Instead… they’re somewhat friends. Or at least, they don’t spend their shifts ready to murder one another. They still bicker; only Josie is beginning to realize that might just be their dynamic, and that she actually kind of enjoys trading barbs with Penelope.

Today, it’s an early Monday afternoon, so the bar is dead. Which means Josie is taking the spare time to fixate on the short story that she’s probably torn apart and put back together around a hundred times by now. She’s sitting at the bar while she reads over it, attempting to figure out why the damned piece isn’t working; although, she keeps letting herself get distracted by MG and Penelope, who are curing their boredom behind the bar by attempting to create new drinks for the menu.

Penelope will place a shaker tin in front of her to sample every now and then, when she and MG can’t decide whether something tastes good or not. And there’s this strange difference in their exchanges that Josie can’t quite place her finger on. Like that uneasy apprehension Josie has always had around Penelope has traded places with something warmer.

“What’s that?”

Josie startles at Penelope’s voice, having not noticed her move out from behind the bar. Penelope stands close to her, a hand resting on the bar as she leans over Josie, eyes on the paper in front of her. That’s something else that Josie is finding has changed, lately. Penelope has always had a habit of hovering closer than necessary to her. Where Josie used to think it was an attempt on Penelope’s part to intimidate her, it now feels different. A kind of unconscious familiarity that Josie finds herself enjoying.

“A short story for class.” Josie says, resting her head in her hands, staring down at the paper and wondering if the right amount of disdain will make the thing burst into flames. “I keep trying to rewrite it and my class just tears it apart every time.” 

“I can read it over, if you need a second set of eyes.”

“Really?”

Penelope shrugs, “Just don’t kill me if you don’t like my feedback.”

Josie sighs, handing the paper over to Penelope, “Honestly, it can’t be worse than what some of my classmates have already said.”

“What’ve they said?”

“The last comment I got was that it lacked ‘substance and authenticity’.” Josie rolls her eyes, “And that was coming from someone who managed to write 800 words on a trip to the toilet.”

“Sounds thrilling.”

“Believe it or not, our professor almost cried.”

Penelope grins down at Josie, and there’s that _thing_ that Josie keeps noticing between them. Like a kind of distant noise, a faint buzz of something she can’t quite place yet.

The sound of the bar doors opening breaks through it this time, Penelope moving away from Josie and re-joining MG. Josie gets up from her seat only to sit right back down again when Lizzie turns out to be the customer.

She frowns as her sister struts into the bar, planting herself down on the stool beside Josie. “Did we make plans that I forgot about?”

Lizzie tilts her head, “Do I need a reason to stop by and see you?”

“Well, when I’m working… kind of.”

“Is this working?” Lizzie looks around the empty bar pointedly, and then her focus falls on MG and Penelope, “And are either of you going to ask what I want to drink, or should I get it myself?”

Penelope makes that irritated face that Josie’s come to recognize as the expression she wears whenever someone tells her to do _anything_. “God, she really is your sister.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “Cosmo?” she guesses.

“Yes, please.”

Josie looks to Penelope, smiling sweetly over at her. Penelope still stubbornly makes Josie wait a solid few seconds, but then she abandons her and MG’s latest concoction to start Lizzie’s cocktail.

“I think I like her.” Lizzie winks over at Penelope teasingly before turning back to Josie, “Anyway, you’re right, there’s a reason I’m here. Hope’s being stubborn about going home for Miss Mystic Falls.”

“We’re still doing that?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

Josie shrugs, “I just figured with the wedding planning, you’d be too busy to care.”

“Too busy to _care_?” Lizzie looks utterly offended, “Josie, this is our _legacy_.”

“I really need to start achieving things so that that isn’t true.”

Lizzie waves her off, “Whatever. I just need you to talk to Hope about it, so she knows you’re going to be there too. If I can frame it as a cute couple’s weekend away, I might be able to get her to give in.”

“Couples weekend?”

“Well you’ll bring Penelope, obviously.”

That gets Penelope’s attention, as she’s placing a martini glass in front of Lizzie and pouring the finished cocktail into it, “Bring me where?”

“To Miss Mystic Falls.”

“To… _what_?”

Lizzie huffs, turning to Josie, “Seriously? Your own girlfriend doesn’t know about Miss Mystic Falls?”

A glass shatters then, and all three pairs of eyes snap to MG, whose gaze is flickering between Josie and Penelope in complete confusion, “… you guys are dating?”

Lizzie frowns, Josie considers just sprinting out of the bar, and Penelope – unsurprisingly – is cool as ever.

She groans dramatically, head hanging back, “We were trying to keep it lowkey.”

Lizzie scoffs, “What, like work relationships are frowned upon here?” she says, “Aren’t bartenders _supposed_ to sleep around?”

Josie sends Penelope a judgmental look that Penelope just rolls her eyes at.

MG is still stunned, beginning to clean up the broken glass at his feet, “I _knew_ there was some kinda weird tension between you guys. I didn’t think you were always _dating_ , though.”

Josie tries not to think too much about that, “Well… we are.” Is all she can come up with, “It’s not really a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” MG balks, “You’ve been ready to kill P since the day you met her.”

“That’s why the sex is so good.” Penelope says, receiving a sharp glare from Josie.

“Hello, twin sister here.” Lizzie reminds her, “Anyway, back to the issue at hand. You’ll come to Miss Mystic Falls, right?”

“I still don’t know what that is.”

“It’s nothing.” Josie says immediately, not needing to hear all the teasing Penelope will no doubt line-up once she hears about the whole thing. She can still feel MG staring, but he doesn’t probe any further – when she glances his way, it looks like he’s still attempting to process it.

“It’s a pageant that our town holds every year.” Lizzie answers Penelope, “Hope and I were both named Miss Mystic Falls in the years we competed.” she smiles, eternally proud of the fact.

“A power couple, huh?” Penelope’s teasing, but Lizzie doesn’t seem to register it, preening at the title.

“It’s an anniversary year. So, if we don’t go, we’re basically insulting the entire institution.”

Josie shakes her head, “It’s really not that–”

“I’ll come.”

Josie’s eyes narrow at Penelope, “No, you won’t.”

Penelope doesn’t seem to catch (or doesn’t _want_ to catch) the warning Josie is trying to send her, “Uh, yeah, I will, _Babe_.” she says, “I’d like to see where you’re from.”

Lizzie beams over at Josie, “It’s settled, then.”

“I didn’t say _I_ was coming.” Josie argues, “I have work and school, and I’m already going to be taking time off for your bachelorette _and_ Hope’s.”

“What’s one more weekend?” Lizzie shrugs, unbothered, “So I can expect you to convince Hope for me, right?”

Josie spends a good half-hour trying to plead her case further. But facing a determined Lizzie with the support of a meddling Penelope means that she has absolutely no chance of getting out of this.

Later, when they’ve closed for the night and Lizzie and MG are long gone, she and Penelope linger in the bar. Josie used to be set on getting out of here as soon as possible, but recently she’s been dragging out her closing routine, not very bothered about leaving at all.

Penelope slides a beer into Josie’s hand as she perches down on the stool next to her once everything is done – another new routine for them.

“So, what’re we doing about MG?”

Josie groans at the reminder. She’d been so bothered about the idea of Penelope coming with her to Mystic Falls that she forgot about the other problem she’s now facing.

“You can’t tell him the truth.” Penelope continues, like it’s obvious.

“Can’t I?”

“It’s MG. He can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

Josie sighs, “You _know_ he’ll tell everyone we’re dating.” She says, “That means we’ll have to keep the lie up here now, too.”

“It’s your choice.” Penelope shrugs, “I don’t care either way. How likely is he to end up telling Lizzie?”

Josie would _like_ to think there’s no such chance. But she knows MG and Lizzie still hang out, despite the long-term crush he’d harboured for her when Josie had first introduced them. While MG would attempt to keep Josie’s secret, she knows how bad of a liar he is. All it would take is for MG to embellish a little bit too much about Penelope and Josie, and Lizzie would smell the lie from a mile away.

“We can’t tell him.” She decides.

“It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, anyway. It’s not like we’re expected to be showing off PDA while we’re on shift.”

“You know it means you can’t go around flirting with everything with a heartbeat, right? It’ll look weird if you’re picking up customers in front of your ‘girlfriend’.” Josie tries not to sound too happy as she proposes it.

“Don’t worry about me, Saltzman.” Penelope grins, mischief shining in her eyes, “I always have loved a challenge.”

Josie takes a generous swig of her beer at that, and tells herself that the spike of irritation she feels is because she finds Penelope infuriatingly arrogant, and has nothing to do with jealousy.

Nothing to do with it _at all_.

* * *

Despite all her good sense not to, Josie does what Lizzie asks, and convinces Hope to come to Miss Mystic Falls.

It’s not really that hard; Hope’s usually fairly happy to take the path of least resistance when it comes to things that Lizzie wants. Josie suspects Hope just puts her foot down on random occasion to remind Lizzie that she’s capable of doing so.

She meets Hope for lunch under the guise of wanting to catch up – although Hope knows Lizzie well enough to already have expected this.

“Let me guess. Lizzie’s told you to convince me to come to Miss Mystic Falls.” She says before they’ve even ordered their drinks.

Josie pauses, “Can’t I just hang out with you without any ulterior motive?”

“You can.” Hope says, “But usually when that’s the case, Lizzie’s not willingly letting us hang out alone without her trying to tag along. Today she practically shoved me out of the apartment.”

They give their orders to the waiter before Josie continues, giving up on pretences. “You’d make _my_ life easier if you came.” She says, “Otherwise Lizzie will spend the entire weekend trying to interrogate Penelope.”

“Penelope’s going?” Hope laughs, “Are you sure you want her to witness Miss Mystic Falls this early in the relationship?”

“Of course I don’t. Lizzie just ambushed me in front of her.”

“So, if I go, it’ll be a couple’s weekend away.” Hope waggles her eyebrows, “Getting serious, huh?”

Josie ignores that, “It’ll give you a chance to bond with her.”

Hope falls back in her seat, her enthusiasm notably dwindling, “I suppose so.”

“Is that… not something you want? You seemed so excited at the engagement party.”

“No, I was.” Hope nods firmly, “I _am_ , it’s just… complicated. It’s not like we just ‘lost contact’. Has she told you what happened?”

“She told me she cut you out.”

“Yeah” Hope sighs, “I don’t know. It’s weird. On one hand, the idea of getting my best friend back is great. On the other hand… she disappeared on me. Without any explanation. And I know it wasn’t about me but it still… it still hurt.”

“Maybe you just need to talk to each other about it.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe… you can talk to each other when we go to Mystic Falls.”

Hope’s smile returns then, and she laughs, “Subtle.”

“Just a thought.”

After that, most of their lunch is just normal conversation. Josie knows there’s no chance Hope will actually deny Lizzie when it comes to Miss Mystic Falls, so she doesn’t bother wasting any more time pushing the subject.

“You and Penelope are an interesting match.” Hope remarks, after they’ve finished with their meals. There’s still half a bottle of wine between them left. Granted, it’s the second bottle. Josie’s not sure why she thought it was a good idea to get day-drunk, but it’s nice, spending time with Hope without Lizzie.

It’s not that Josie _minds_ the fact that usually if Hope’s around, Lizzie is too. That’s just what happens when your twin sister ends up with your best friend. But she makes the most of it when they do get time alone.

Josie lifts her wine glass to her lips, arching a brow at Hope, “Interesting?”

“Yeah.” Hope shrugs, “She’s the complete opposite of the type of people you usually go for.”

Josie panics for a moment that Hope might be onto her lies, but then Hope is continuing.

“Not that that’s a bad thing.” She says, “Actually, it’s a relief.”

Josie’s eyebrows rise higher, “A relief?”

Hope laughs, “Oh, come on. You know what I mean.”

“What?”

“Just, the people you usually date are so…” she pauses, looking to Josie cautiously, as though gauging just how ready Josie is to hear unwarranted feedback today. “Promise you won’t get offended?”

Josie’s gaze narrows, “That depends on what you say.”

Hope’s face is flushed from the wine, but the word vomit alone is enough to tell Josie just how drunk her friend is feeling. “I’m just saying… usually you date people who are… _safe.”_

“What does that even mean?”

“You know, like… they’re an easy choice for you. No risk of any surprises.”

“I didn’t think that was a bad thing.”

“I mean, I guess not.” Hope shrugs, “It’s just never seemed like you cared that much about them. Like whenever you end things it’s just… done. Easy and simple.” She huffs, throwing her hand around as she tries to get her point across, “I just mean that Penelope’s different. It’s nice to see you with someone that brings something else to the table.”

Josie tries not to show just how much Hope’s comments have gotten under her skin. Reminds herself that if she were really dating Penelope, hearing this wouldn’t be something to get mad about.

She knows Hope doesn’t mean anything bad by it. Hell, Lizzie’s never held back her own similar feelings of disillusion over Josie’s choice in partners. But there’s something grating about having Hope talk about how _wonderful_ it is that Josie’s dating someone like Penelope when it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Although Josie knows not to look too far into the reason behind _those_ feelings.

“I don’t know Penelope anymore, though.” Hope says as she moves to top her and Josie’s wine glasses up, “Maybe I’m wrong.”

Josie can’t help her curiosity. “What was she like when you knew her?”

Hope laughs, “Uh… opinionated. Rebellious. Kind of… bitchy, when she wanted to be.” Her smile has a measure of sadness to it as she reminisces. “But she was always loyal. To a fault, maybe. For the people she cared about, anyway. Which I think at times was just… me.”

“Whenever she talks about New Orleans it sounds so… lonely.” Josie knows she shouldn’t probe where Penelope hasn’t willingly handed over the details herself. But since that night in the park, she hasn’t been able to shake this nagging desire to know more about Penelope. And who better to provide that than the very girl she grew up with?

“Yeah, well, her family aren’t exactly the ‘tuck you in at night’ types. I don’t think I ever even saw her mom look anything but unimpressed.” Hope rolls her eyes, “My dad liked her dad, though. But I think that was more about respect.”

Josie ponders that, thinking about all the things that make a person up and leave their entire life behind. About what made _Penelope Park_ do such a thing. And she doesn’t know where it comes from, but there’s almost a protectiveness, that makes itself known to her then. That refuses to go ignored.

“I know she hurt you when she left. I’m not trying to undermine that.” She starts cautiously, “But just… don’t blame her too much, for what happened. Sometimes you have to leave the things you care about behind just to keep yourself together.”

Hope doesn’t look offended, instead she wears a sympathetic expression that Josie recognizes, and that immediately makes her regret speaking about it. “You’re talking from experience, huh.”

Josie usually avoids this subject with Hope and Lizzie. She still doesn’t know how to react, when faced with the odd mixture of sympathy and pity that she receives from them in return. Because a part of her still hasn’t forgiven them, for getting out of Mystic Falls when she didn’t. For feeling like they _could_ leave. For even now, being able to get by without a constant cloud of guilt hanging over them for feeling like they haven’t done enough. And she knows it’s petty, to think like that. To resent them for knowing how to put themselves first when they have every right to do so. But the feelings still there, all the same.

She shifts in her seat, discomfort showing, “I’m just saying, it’s hard. I don’t think leaving you behind would have been easy for her, either.”

Hope must sense that Josie’s uninterested in talking on it further, and she grants Josie’s wish in moving them onto something lighter. Or, what Josie imagines Hope _thinks_ is a lighter subject. “So, what do you like about her?”

Josie frowns, “What?”

“Penelope.” Hope shrugs, a smile playing at her lips, “Come on. You kept her a secret for so long, you have to be dying to talk about her. As your best friend, it’s only my duty to hear you swoon.”

Josie hopes her laugh doesn’t sound half as nervous as the question makes her feel. “I don’t know.” She buys herself some time in having a slow sip of her wine. “Well, there’s the obvious part.”

“She’s hot?”

“Duh.”

Hope grins, leaning over the table excitedly, head in her hands, “And? Go on.”

“She’s… smart. Funny.” Josie’s finger runs along the stem of her wine glass as she thinks of what Hope wants to hear and what can pass as the truth. “I guess I just… I like spending time with her. She brings out a side of me that I didn’t really know was there.”

And that’s not a lie. Josie’s always acted differently around Penelope. It just strikes Josie that it no longer feels like a bad thing.

“Have you said ‘I love you’ yet?”

Josie doesn’t even have to fake a reaction to that. Her cheeks immediately heat up, eyes widening, “I– uh _no._ No. Of course not.”

Hope laughs, “Calm down, it wasn’t a trick question. I was just curious.”

Josie knows it doesn’t mean anything, but the fact that Hope even asked feels like some kind of accusation that she instinctively wants to defend herself against.

She decides any more talk about Penelope with this much wine in her system is only a recipe for disaster, so Josie spends the rest of their venture to the bottom of the wine bottle by keeping Hope busy with wedding talk – a strategy that never fails, given how much more extravagant the event is getting with every passing day. 

Later, when they finally make their exit from the restaurant, the wine has very much taken its toll on Josie. So much so that when she sees Penelope standing outside, she half-believes it’s some kind of hallucination.

She squints, waiting for the image of Penelope to go away, but she remains standing there, looking at Josie with an arched brow. “Penelope?”

“That’s my name.”

Josie stares at her, confused but not completely _mad_ about her sudden appearance.

“I texted her.” Hope says when she stumbles out of the restaurant after Josie. She holds out Josie’s phone to her – which Josie hadn’t even noticed was missing.

“Oh.” Josie checks her phone now, finding the texts Hope sent to Penelope. Filled with drunken typos and requesting Penelope come and ‘ _get her girl_ ’. And while sure, that’s about on brand for Hope, it’s Penelope actually showing up that has Josie standing there stunned in her drunken stupor

“Take care of her. She doesn’t deal well with wine.” Hope probably means to only nudge Josie towards Penelope, but either she’s too drunk to measure her strength or Josie’s too drunk to keep her balance (or both), and she sends Josie stumbling right into Penelope.

Penelope catches her, surprisingly solid, as her hands find Josie’s waist and she stops what would have been a painful clash of heads. Josie looks at her in awe, and Penelope just looks like she hasn’t decided if she’s amused or annoyed yet.

“Shouldn’t this be your job?” she bites out, looking over to Hope. She doesn’t let go of Josie, and Josie’s happy to bide her time in Penelope’s space, dragging a finger over accentuated collarbones and wondering if it’s her imagination that Penelope slightly trembles at the touch.

“You’re her girlfriend.” Hope says.

“And you’re the friend that got her wasted in the middle of the day.”

“We got _each_ _other_ wasted.” Hope corrects, and then she laughs, but it sounds condescending, “I never thought I’d have Penelope Park framing _me_ as a bad influence.”

“If the shoe fits.”

Josie scrunches her nose up, a drunken giggle escaping her, “Are you guys fighting over me?”

“Your girlfriend’s being overprotective.” Hope says.

The statement makes Josie feel a certain kind of giddy, but maybe that’s just the wine. She grins and brings a hand up to tap Penelope’s nose – to which Penelope’s brow furrows, annoyed green eyes finding Josie’s. “ _Protective_.” She draws the word out, and Penelope rolls her eyes before looking back to Hope.

“I’ll take her home.”

“Exactly why I texted.” Hope smiles at her, possibly too sweetly – Josie doesn’t know what their friendship used to be like, but she’s sure it wasn’t anything close to polite. “Now, I’m going to go and see my _fiancé_.” She sighs, losing herself for a moment, “Can you believe I have a fiancé?”

Josie steps out of Penelope’s arms to stumble into a hug with Hope, “Tell Lizzie I did what she asked.” She says eagerly, “You’re going to come, right?”

“It’s Lizzie. Did I ever have an actual option?” Hope’s voice is fond as she says it, and she pulls out her own phone to order herself an Uber. “You’re okay here?”

“Mmhmm.” Josie glances over to Penelope, beaming at her and enjoying the hint of a smile on Penelope’s lips.

Josie makes Penelope wait until Hope is in an Uber before they can leave. When Hope’s safely stowed away in a car that’s driving off down the road, Josie turns her attention to Penelope. She wasn’t _supposed_ to see Penelope until their shift two days from now, but there’s a certain joy in her unexpected company. Even if Penelope is looking at her like with a small measure of annoyance right now.

“Have a nice date?” she drawls.

Josie grins, bounding over to Penelope. She feels bolder than usual – courtesy of the wine – and she practically throws herself back into Penelope’s arms, enjoying how Penelope seems ready to catch her at any given moment. “Why? Jealous?”

Penelope scowls at the response, and Josie laughs.

“Let’s get you home, then.” Penelope mutters, coaxing Josie back a step.

She starts walking, and Josie watches her, confused, “We’re not gonna get an Uber?”

“You’re a few blocks away.”

“But I’m _tired_.”

“You’re _drunk_. The walk will do you good.”

Penelope doesn’t stop walking, forcing Josie to catch up to her. Josie plans on complaining more about it, but Penelope lets her loop her arm through hers as they fall into step with one another, so she decides it’s not so bad after all.

“Why’d you come get me, anyway?”

“Because I’m an excellent fake-girlfriend.”

Josie tries not to let herself look too put-out by that response. “Are you gonna hang out with me now?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Well I don’t wanna hang out by _myself_.”

“So, you want me to.”

Josie’s bottom lip juts out stubbornly, “If I say yes, will you?”

Penelope shrugs, “Might as well, now that I’ve been dragged out to your side of the city.”

That catches Josie’s curiosity, “I don’t know where you live.” She says as the realization hits her. “Why don’t I know where you live?”

“We’ve always gone to your place.”

“ _Why?_ ”

Penelope laughs, “I don’t know, you’re the one that made it that way.”

“Huh.” Josie supposes she’s not wrong. She’d just never really thought much about it. Granted, until recently she never thought much about Penelope at all. If she _wanted_ to think about it, though, it wouldn’t be hard to put two-and-two together. She’s made it her business to not know Penelope any more than necessary, and venturing into the place Penelope calls home? Definitely brings with it a level of intimacy that Josie has preferred to avoid.

Now, though, she thinks she’d like to get a glimpse inside the place.

They’re arriving at her apartment soon enough, and Josie’s motor skills are lacking, so Penelope takes charge in swiping her keys from her and getting the door open. Josie dances into the space, planting herself down onto her couch with a satisfied sigh. She doesn’t hear Penelope follow, and when she opens her eyes again, she finds her standing awkwardly by the door.

Josie realizes now that they’ve never really spent any considerable time in here without the intention of getting one another’s clothes off. Then she thinks about the last time she was on this couch with Penelope and she has to bury her face into a pillow to hide the redness of her cheeks.

Penelope eventually moves past whatever stalled her, and Josie feels her weight dropping onto the other end of the couch. She peers over at Penelope, who has already swiped up the remote and turned on the TV. She reaches out her foot, poking at Penelope’s thigh. “Are we gonna Netflix and chill?”

Josie likes to think it might almost have been smooth, without the drunken snickering that promptly followed.

Green eyes drag from the TV to Josie, and Josie grins at the utterly unimpressed look on Penelope’s face. “What exactly did you drink today?”

“Wine.”

Penelope rolls her eyes, “This is gonna be a long afternoon.”

Josie huffs, turning her gaze to the TV, watching as Penelope flicks through shows. “Put Glee on.”

“… that’s a joke, right?”

“No.”

Penelope turns her entire body towards Josie so she can send her the full measure of her exasperated expression, “You know you have literally gotten offended about me saying you like Glee before.”

“Well you shouldn’t just _assume_ I like Glee.”

“What? In-case I’m right?”

Josie lets out a whine, “Just put it on.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to watch Glee.”

Josie pouts over at her stubbornly, “But _I_ want to watch it.”

“Has anyone ever told you that wine turns you into a child?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re mean?” Josie retorts, only proving Penelope’s point.

“You have, actually. Many times.” Penelope turns her attention back to the TV, “Do mean people usually pick up their drunk fake-girlfriend after she’s been out flirting with someone else?”

“ _Flirting_?” Josie balks, “I don’t _flirt_ with Hope.”

“Sure, you do.”

“She’s my sister’s _fiancé.”_

“Who you’re in love with.”

Josie is _too_ drunk for this headache of a conversation. “I’m not in love with her!”

“Oh, right.” Penelope corrects herself, “Who you have _feelings_ for.”

“I don’t–” Josie groans loudly, sitting up on the couch to face Penelope, “I _don’t_ have feelings for her.”

“Then why am I here?”

“I’ve _told_ you. It’s not about that, it’s about how Lizzie can’t just let me be single without her meddling.”

Penelope nods, “Because she feels guilty for being with your first love.”

“Exactly.”

Penelope grins, and Josie knows what’s coming next, “Because you still have feeling for her.”

Josie gives up, falling back onto the couch in defeat, “Just put Glee on.”

“No.”

* * *

Penelope does end up playing Glee.

And Josie ends up falling asleep within the first five minutes.

When she wakes, it’s to the smell of pizza, and a crime documentary is now playing on the TV. At some point she’s settled her feet in Penelope’s lap, and it feels awfully domestic in those first waking moments. And it’s not… _bad_.

She watches Penelope for a few minutes – something that is getting increasingly routine for her. Josie’s been blindsided by so much about the woman at this point, that often she finds herself observing Penelope, trying to figure out what else she might be missing. She wonders if Penelope really believes she has feelings for Hope, or if it’s just a source of amusement for her to see Josie get annoyed about it. She wonders why she cares so much about what Penelope believes.

Josie sighs, and stretches out on the couch, alerting Penelope to her consciousness. The fun part of drinking an excess of wine is almost over, and Josie can feel the beginnings of a headache. “Making yourself at home?” she remarks with a nod to the pizza on the coffee table. Josie doesn’t take her feet off of Penelope’s lap, and Penelope doesn’t seem bothered by it.

Penelope gestures to the half-eaten pizza, “Help yourself.”

Josie doesn’t take her up on the offer, not sure yet whether this is going to be the kind of hangover where she inhales all greasy food in her vicinity or the type where she’ll be seeing her lunch again sometime soon.

“So, I think your current rewrite is worse than the last one.”

Josie frowns at the random comment, but then spots the scribbled-up papers of her latest attempt at her short story for class sitting on the coffee table in front of Penelope.

She groans, sinking back down on the couch and resting her arm over her eyes, her soul-sucking assignment the _last_ thing she wants to think about right now. “Why don’t you just write it for me?”

“I’m not a writer.”

“I’m sure a feminist rant will do just fine.”

Penelope’s laugh is soft, and oddly pleasant to Josie’s ears, “You just need to quit trying to write something perfect.”

“That’s bad advice.”

“No it isn’t.” Penelope pokes at Josie’s leg, “You need to write what _you_ want to read. Not what you think your professor or your classmates want to read.”

Josie’s thinks there might be good advice in there somewhere, but the impending hangover makes it hard to think, let alone care about her pretentious classmates and her pretentious professor and her stupid pretentious major.

Penelope must catch on. “Feeling rough already?”

“Beginning to.” Josie sighs, allowing her eyes to close and willing another nap. “Why did I think day drinking was a good idea?”

“I imagine it had something to do with the girl who asked you to drink with her.”

Josie remembers Penelope’s behavior with Hope at the restaurant, when she’d had that same thinly veiled disapproval in her tone. And she _swears_ , there’s a hint of what could be jealousy there. But Josie supposes it has less to do with her, and more to do with Penelope not working out her own problems with her childhood friend.

“Hope and you need to talk.” She says.

“I don’t ‘need’ to do anything.” Penelope grumbles out. 

Josie opens one eye to look at Penelope, “You don’t respond well to commands. You know that, right?”

“I respond perfectly fine to them.”

“No you don’t. Literally any time anyone asks you to do _anything_ , you look like you’re considering murder.”

“Are you keeping tabs on me, now?”

Josie doesn’t fall for the bait, although she feels her cheeks heat up slightly. And maybe it’s the wine, but Josie feels like an annoying kid, desperate for attention as she continues, eyeing Penelope. She pulls her feet from Penelope’s lap to push them into her thigh. “Get me a water.”

Penelope snorts, “Nice try.” She says, “Get it yourself.”

“See, you can’t deal with being told to do things.”

“That’s completely baseless.”

“Then get me a water.” She prods her feet against Penelope’s thigh again.

“No.”

“But I feel sick.”

“You’re not sick, you’re drunk.”

Josie huffs dramatically, kicking out at Penelope, “Get me a water.”

Penelope jaw tightens, green eyes narrowing, “Kick me again.”

Josie’s mischievousness only grows, and she grins, “Get. Me.” her feet poke Penelope with every word, “A. Water.”

Penelope stares at her. Green eyes narrow, and then she’s launching herself across the couch.

Josie thinks to run for her life just a second too late, scrambling off the couch only for Penelope to catch her ankle before she can get to safety. Josie lets out a yelp as Penelope’s hold on her stops her escape, bringing her to the floor with a heavy ‘ _thump’_.

“Wait wait wait– I take it back–” Josie’s not sure exactly what she’s afraid of happening, just knows that Penelope can look absolutely terrifying when she wants to. She attempts to retreat backwards, but Penelope follows faster, climbing on top of Josie, knees bracketing her hips and pinning her to the floor. 

“Say you’re sorry.” Penelope orders and – _okay_ that was kind of hot. Her hands find Josie’s waist, and Josie squirms under her as fingers squeeze her sides.

“I’m sorry, okay!” Josie groans out, hands attempting to push Penelope’s away only to end up getting pinned on either side of her head.

Their eyes meet, and Josie laughs, noting that while she might be sufficiently immobilized right now, Penelope can’t do much while she’s pinning her here, either. “What now, genius?”

Their breaths are heavy, and Penelope’s close enough that her hair is falling over Josie, curtaining both of their faces. Josie’s mind inevitably goes to _other_ times they’ve been in a similar position to this.

Penelope seems to finally realize the position she’s put them in, and Josie sees her cheeks flush as her eyes drop to Josie’s torso. Josie’s not sure if it’s the wine playing tricks on her, but this might be the first time she’s seen Penelope remotely flustered.

Josie tests her theory, arches her hips upwards slightly, bringing her bare foot up to hook around Penelope’s calf. She hears Penelope’s breath hitch. Sees her jaw tighten. Feels her hands growing clammy around Josie’s wrists.

And then Penelope’s scrambling off of her, muttering out an, “ _I’ll get you the damn water._ ” as she goes.

Josie takes a minute, lying on the floor there. And she tries not to think too hard about what she might have done if Penelope had called her bluff. 

Instead, she thinks about Mystic Falls, and how a weekend away with Penelope sounds like the best and worst thing that she could be faced with right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied. My fave chaps start next chapter. This one got too long to have Miss Mystic Falls start mid-way! Anyway this ch was bloody long so y'all better leave a comment or I'm not proofreading sumn this long again. After doing that, go to Netflix and watch The Dark Crystal.


	9. Chapter 9

Josie assumes it’s because she’s dreading it that the trip to Mystic Falls arrives so fast.

Going home is always hard. While it means spending time with her family, it also means a reality check on just how her dad really is doing. The only real thing that makes this trip home easier to stomach is the fact that, at least, they’ll spend most of the time distracted by Miss Mystic Falls.

She and Penelope share the drive to Mystic Falls with Hope and Lizzie, and while Lizzie manages to carry most of the conversation, Josie doesn’t fail to notice the stiffness that still lingers in Penelope and Hope’s exchanges.

Every now and then they’ll meet one another in conversation, and there will be a flicker of the familiarity of two people who have known one another most of their lives, but then it will fade out into awkwardness once more, like they’re completely stunted.

They go straight to Salvatore School when they arrive in Mystic Falls. With Caroline now running things and she and Stefan having moved to the school permanently, Josie and Lizzie usually stay there on visits home. Still, it never gets less strange, walking through the halls as a guest, rather than a student.

After Caroline has smothered them all with greetings, they’re sent off to their rooms to dump their bags, with a strict order to make their way back downstairs immediately. It’s a Friday, so most students are tucked away in the classrooms except for the odd straggler here and there.

“This explains so much about you.” Penelope remarks as she follows Josie down the halls towards the wing of the school where the guest rooms are. “I can practically _see_ a teen Josie Saltzman storming through here scolding everyone for dawdling between classes.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “I wasn’t like that.”

“I bet this is one of those schools that has prefects.” Penelope’s smirk is audible, “I bet you were one of them.”

“I was on student council.”

“Of course you were.”

“Are you going to spend this entire trip teasing me about my childhood?”

“Of course I am.”

Josie sighs and Penelope just grins at her, and she doesn’t even want to think about the mockery that’s still to come once Penelope witnesses Miss Mystic Falls. Penelope’s teasing comes to an abrupt end when they walk into the room, and it takes a few seconds for Josie to realize the reason is because her eyes have located the one bed in the room.

“Oh.” Josie pauses, “I didn’t think about… that.”

They stare at it, and Josie glances to Penelope, attempting to decipher what’s running through her mind but coming up empty. She’s fairly certain the frozen demeanour isn’t a good thing, though.

“It’s just a bed.” Josie says.

“Yeah.” Penelope nods, “I mean, we’ve done plenty of things in a bed together before.” the joke falls flat, due to how unsure her voice sounds.

“It’s kind of weird, if you think about it.” Josie says, “That we haven’t slept in the same bed together.”

“I guess.”

Josie doesn’t know why something as simple as just _sleeping_ next to Penelope feels so much more intimate than sex.

“We can’t really ask your mom to arrange a spare bedroom, huh?”

Josie shouldn’t feel slighted by the remark, but the feeling is there, nonetheless. “I can sleep on the floor, if we put some pillows down.”

Penelope snorts, “And deal with a sleep-deprived Josie Saltzman? I’d prefer to survive this trip.”

Josie sighs, “Let’s just deal with it later.”

Penelope nods, and she dumps her bag in the room before leaving like she can’t get out of there fast enough.

When they get back downstairs, Caroline lets them at least sit down for a coffee while she runs them through nearly every minute of the weekend. Miss Mystic Falls is on Saturday, which means nearly their entire time here will be spent running around attempting to help Caroline with the preparations for the event. Josie doesn’t really mind; the less free time she has to dwell in Mystic Falls, the better.

She and Lizzie are sent off to Founder’s Hall to help the Miss Mystic Falls contenders with dance rehearsals, while Hope and Penelope are given their own set of errands to run around Mystic Falls completing together.

Lizzie’s enthusiasm over the pageant is almost as strong as it was when they were teenagers, and she quickly takes charge in telling this year’s contenders what they’re doing wrong or right. For the most part, Josie just bides her time, providing tips where needed and happy to let Lizzie relive her glory days.

At one point, Lizzie sidles up to Josie as they watch the girls run-through the dance routine yet again. “You think they’re okay?”

“Sure. It’s just a dance.”

“No.” Lizzie rolls her eyes, as though Josie was supposed to know what she was actually asking. “Hope and Penelope.”

“Oh.” Josie pauses. Her mind has been venturing to the pair all afternoon, wondering what to expect when Penelope returns from what will be the first actual alone-time she’s had with Hope so far. She shrugs, “They just need to get to know each other again.”

“Maybe.” Lizzie sounds unhappy. “Penelope really hurt her, you know.”

Josie recognizes Lizzie’s tone. Protective and bubbling with potential for spite. It usually only gets used when someone is a threat to Josie or Hope. She immediately bristles at it being used to discuss Penelope.

“It’s between them.” Josie says, a hint of warning in her tone that Lizzie pays no mind to.

“Hope’s my fiancé. If someone’s upsetting her, it’s my business.”

“Penelope’s _not_ upsetting her.” Josie says, sounding defensive herself now. “They haven’t spoken in years. Of course it’s going to be awkward at first.”

“I’m not trying to be a bitch about your girlfriend.” Lizzie frowns over at Josie, “I like her. I do. But if this turns out to be something serious for Hope…”

Josie scoffs, “What? You’re going to tell me I can’t date her?”

And she probably shouldn’t be as offended as she is by that. Because it’s not like she’s protecting a real relationship here. But Lizzie’s tendency to play puppet-master grates on her.

“I would hope you wouldn’t _want_ to date someone if they were going to get between us.”

Josie has to bite her tongue from turning this into something bigger than it needs to be. She could easily return the same sentiments towards Lizzie. It’s not like _Lizzie_ ever worried much about their relationship when she was happily jumping into things with Hope. Even now, Lizzie is assuming Josie’s own love life should fall on a lower priority level than Lizzie’s desire for everything to stay just the way she likes it.

“I’m not having this conversation with you.” Josie says, deciding this is a fight for another day. “Just leave them be. They’ll figure it out.”

Lizzie shrugs, “Hopefully.”

Josie scowls at how it sounds slightly threatening, but she walks away.

Penelope and Hope reappear later on, when Lizzie and Josie are finishing up with rehearsals, and Josie doesn’t fail to notice the shift between the pair. The awkwardness from before is replaced with something heavier now, and they both look exhausted. The way neither really entertains even attempting to look comfortable around one another tells Josie that they’ve at least had _some_ kind of conversation about things. She’s just not sure whether it was a good one.

Lizzie sends Josie a _look_ the moment she notices Hope’s mood and Josie has to stop herself from outright telling her sister where she can shove it.

Penelope’s absent-minded the entire ride back to the school, and the fact that she hasn’t teased Josie once about the extravagance of this entire thing is confirmation enough that she should be concerned.

When they get back to Salvatore, Josie invites her on a tour of the grounds under the guise of getting her separated from Lizzie and Hope for at least a little while. They’re at the old mill when Josie discards with random facts about the school and asks after what she really wants to know.

She’s sits down on the staircase of the upper level, watching as Penelope wanders about the space, thoughts clearly elsewhere.

“You’re quiet.” She says.

Penelope’s reply is unhelpful. “Enjoying it?”

“It’s actually kind of unnerving.” A sign of a smile toys at Penelope’s lips, and Josie takes a small victory in that. “How was spending time with Hope? I noticed things were kind of… weird in the car.”

Penelope pauses, looking over at Josie like she’s considering telling her to mind her own business. But then she’s walking over, sitting down next to Josie. Their sides touch – because Penelope has this thing about occupying Josie’s personal space at all times now. Not that Josie’s really finding herself minding it all too much.

“It’s just… strange. Knowing someone so well, for so long, and then meeting them again years later as this completely different person.”

“ _Is_ Hope a different person?”

Penelope shrugs, “I don’t know. I mean, I think that’s kind of the problem. I… don’t know anything about her. But I know _I’m_ different. The way she looks at me… it’s like everything I say makes me more and more of a stranger to her. And she looks so _hurt_ by it.” She frowns as she speaks, like she’s not so much talking to Josie as she is just processing her own thoughts. “I didn’t… I never realized I was hurting her when I left.”

“Really?” Josie doesn’t mean it to come out as judgmental as it does.

“I know it’s dumb. It’s just… by the time I left, Mystic Falls had kind of become home to her. And even before that, she always had her family. I guess I just thought she wouldn’t care that much.”

“Hope’s lost a lot of people in her life. She doesn’t take it easily.”

“I know.” Penelope sighs, running a hand through her hair, “I _should_ have known I just– I needed to get out of there. At that point, I don’t think I _wanted_ to think about anyone else, in case it would stop me.”

“I get that.” Josie looks down to where her hand sits next to Penelope’s. She extends her pinky finger out, hooking it over Penelope’s. “I know Hope would, too.”

“She did. Which kind of just made me feel guiltier.” Penelope’s eyes fall to where Josie’s touching her, but she doesn’t pull her hand free. “I think it was good for us, though. I… think we might try to be friends again. Hope said she wanted to.”

“And do you want to?”

“Yeah.” Penelope sounds genuine, but there’s still that measure of sadness to it. “It’s just hard, you know? She’s part of something I left behind a long time ago.”

“But she wasn’t the reason you left.” Josie doubts herself for a moment, suddenly worried, “Was she?”

“No, of course not.” Penelope frowns, “But she’s a reminder.”

“Well, you can just take it slow. If it works, it works. It if doesn’t…” Josie’s immediate thought is ‘ _you still have me_ ’, and then she’s stuck with wondering when she became someone that Penelope ‘has’. She settles on, “At least you would have tried.”

Penelope nods, falling silent for a while. And then she looks around, like it’s for the first time, a soft laugh falling from her. “Let me guess, this is where the cool kids go to smoke?”

“Actually, that’s the turret.” Josie grins, “Is that your way of saying you need a cigarette?”

“I actually don’t have any on me.”

“Liar.”

Penelope laughs, “Seriously. I was planning on scoping out a spot later. Can’t have your mother realizing I’m not perfect now, can we?”

“Just find somewhere away from students, please.”

“Sure. So, what is this place for, if not to smoke in secret?” 

“Once upon a time it was a saw mill, that’s how Stefan’s family made their wealth. _Formally_ , it’s kept up because it’s a ‘part of history’. Really, though, it’s where students go for parties. Or at least it was when I went to Salvatore.”

“The Headmistress’ daughter went to _parties_?” Penelope fakes a shocked expression, and Josie can see some of her usual playfulness returning, green eyes shining with amusement.

“Sometimes.” Josie plays along, “I even had my first kiss here.”

“Who was it?”

“A guy called Rafael. We shared algebra together.”

“How romantic.”

“Oh, it was.”

“So, what’s the punishment for kissing the headmistress’s daughter?”

“Why? Are you worried?”

Penelope grins at her, “I think it’s a bit late for that.”

There’s a beat, where Josie’s breath catches under Penelope’s playful green-eyed stare, and she pulls her gaze away as her cheeks redden.

“It was actually the head _master_ back then.” She says, hearing the slight waver to her voice, “My dad used to run the school; Mom dealt with the behind-the-scenes stuff.” Josie doesn’t know why she’s sharing the piece of information. Maybe to provide something to balance out what Penelope has just shared with her about her own past. Or maybe just because it’s getting easier to talk to Penelope like this. “When his drinking got… harder to handle, Mom stepped in.”

Josie’s not sure whether releasing Alaric of the responsibility of headmaster was even good for him, in the long run. A part of her thinks that losing that reason to keep himself together might have been one of the things to push him further. Not that he really gave Caroline much of an option. After one too many concerned parents complained about rumours of the often-drunk headmaster, her hand had basically been forced in standing Alaric down.

“ _The headmaster’s daughter_.” Penelope’s voice is coated with amusement, “Something tells me we wouldn’t have gotten along in school.”

“We don’t even get along _now_.” Josie points out, although the statement feels entirely false. “Let me guess, you were the mean girl?”

“Sometimes.” Penelope says, “And you took the rules even more seriously than you do now?”

“Someone had to.”

Penelope laughs, “I probably would have made it my mission to corrupt you.”

“And how would you have done that?”

“Natural charm, of course. I would have had you smoking out here and breaking curfew in no time.”

“I think you might be overestimating yourself.”

Penelope smirks, smug as ever, “I’ve risen to the challenge before.”

Josie laughs, “So I was a challenge?”

Penelope turns her head to look at Josie, and her smirk softens into a small smile that completely throws Josie off. “Something like that.”

There’s a lump in Josie’s throat that she struggles to swallow, and she realizes her pinky is still hooked around Penelope’s between them, and the touch feels so much more noticeable now.

She scrambles for something to say, clinging to the first thing that comes to mind. “So– um– how about you? What was your first kiss like?”

Something crosses Penelope’s features – her eyes widen, lips fall open slightly, and she looks away. She lets out a small, stuttered laugh that is completely uncharacteristic of her, and Josie knows she’s stumbled upon something.

“What?” Josie’s not entirely sure she wants to know.

Penelope laughs that same awkward laugh again, “Uh… _well_.”

The realization hits, then. “It was Hope, wasn’t it?” and even Josie’s surprised by how hostile her voice sounds.

“We were like, ten years old.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, it’s not really a big deal.”

“I asked you about that, though.”

“No you didn’t. You asked if I’d slept with her.” Penelope argues, “That’s completely different to an innocent kiss between kids.”

“It’s still kind of relevant.” Josie goes to move her hand away but Penelope catches it.

“Oh, come on.” She laughs, hand wrapping around Josie’s wrist, “You’re not seriously mad, are you?”

Josie is fully aware of how immature it is, to be envious of something that conspired literally over a decade ago. And she can’t really make much sense of it herself but there’s something about the piece of history that bothers her more than it should.

“I’m not mad.” She says, while telling herself _not_ to be mad. Because really, it’s ridiculous. “I just thought that’d be something you would tell me.”

“Honestly, I had forgotten about it until you asked. If it makes you feel better, it was awkward and _really_ weird.”

Josie hates that that actually _does_ make her feel better.

“So… did you like her, or something?”

“Oh my _god_ , we were _ten_.” Penelope groans, “No, I didn’t like her. We were just kids experimenting. Is this really annoying you? If you’re mad about _me_ kissing Hope when I was ten, how the hell do you survive seeing your actual twin with her?”

Josie pauses, stomach dropping as it becomes agonizingly obvious to her that whatever ridiculous thing she’s feeling right now, it’s not so much about _Hope_.

“I’m not annoyed.” Josie mutters out, finding her footing again, “It’s just… weird, I guess. I mean– all of it is. Imagining you and Hope growing up together…” 

“That’s weird?”

“Well, _I_ was growing up with her at the same time. Hope probably used to mention you to me.” And that is something Josie’s started thinking a lot more about lately. How close she’s been to Penelope for the majority of her life without even knowing. She’s not sure why, but it feels significant, somehow.

“Probably.” Penelope shrugs, “You know what’s weirder? There was a period of time where I was _begging_ my parents to let me go to boarding school with Hope.”

The thought makes Josie laugh, “Maybe it’s a good thing they didn’t let you.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because clearly you would have made my life hell.”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t have been able to resist me.”

Josie scoffs, “Yes, I bet spoilt teen heiress Penelope Park was a real catch.”

“Hot girls with money usually are.”

“Does it ever get tiring carrying around that ego?”

Penelope grins, “You know what I think?” Mischief swims in her eyes, and Josie’s stomach flips when she leans in, lips next to Josie’s ear. “I think if I’d been to school here, I’d have been your first kiss.”

Josie doesn’t know what to say to that. The idea itself seems to suspend her general ability to think. So of course, she puts her foot in her mouth instead. “Actually, you probably would have went for Lizzie. That was kind of the status quo, in high school.”

“You think, huh?”

“I mean… yeah.” Josie turns her head to look at Penelope, and it’s such a mistake because they’re really too close right now and all this talking about kissing has her _thinking_ about doing exactly that.

She imagines being a teenager, slipping away between classes to meet Penelope here. Wonders what might have been different for her if they _had_ met at an earlier time. A younger, less jaded version of herself probably would have fallen headfirst into an unfortunate crush. Wouldn’t have had the good sense to recognize something that could only lead to heartbreak. Because that’s all anything more with Penelope could ever lead to, right? She’s never hidden her intentions from Josie, never pretended to be anything akin to the type to sweep her off her feet. It’s just getting harder to remind herself of that, when she keeps finding herself in moments like this. With a softer Penelope who makes her laugh and has Josie thinking that if this were real, she wouldn’t mind it. 

She tries not to stare too openly but Penelope doesn’t seem to have any similar worries as green eyes just drink Josie in. Josie wonders if she’s aware of what she’s doing. Thinks surely, she must be. She probably uses this same move on countless unsuspecting customers. Penelope Park is probably used to getting whatever she wants with one much-too heavy gaze.

Josie’s eyes drop to Penelope’s lips, and she wonders if it would be such a bad thing if she kissed her right now.

They’re moments away from it. Just one small move from either of them to cross the distance. To move past the line that’s been drawn between them. That _Penelope_ drew between them.

By some insane measure of will power, Josie doesn’t cross it.

She lets out a shaky breath, begging those thoughts to go away. “I– um–” she pulls back, moving her hand from Penelope’s hold as she does so, and she finds something to talk about instead. “I’m glad you and Hope got to talk properly.”

Penelope blinks slowly, looking lost, like she’d forgotten what they had been talking about to begin with. “…yeah.” She smiles, nodding, “I think we’ll be okay.”

“Thank god.” Josie’s voice is still riddled with nerves as she laughs, “I was going to have to find a new fake girlfriend, otherwise.”

“Why?”

“Lizzie’s protective. If she thought you were a threat to Hope or her relationship with me, she’d do everything to get rid of you.”

Penelope sends Josie a confused look, brow furrowed, “Is that something she has the power to do?”

Josie shrugs, “Kind of. It’s just easier to go along with her, usually. The way she sees it, our relationship is more important than anything. So, if I’m dating someone who complicates that… it won’t work out.”

Penelope stares at her, and Josie can practically see the critical thoughts beginning to form in her mind, “Didn’t she start dating Hope _despite_ you having feelings for her?”

“Well… yeah. But it’s not the same. _Obviously_ , her and Hope weren’t just some small thing.”

Penelope’s looking at Josie in a way that’s not quite readable, but enough so for Josie to feel completely uncomfortable under it. “So… if you were dating someone and Lizzie didn’t like them… that would be a deal-breaker.”

Josie notes the small measure of space Penelope has put between them, their sides no longer pressed together. “She’s my twin.” She says, and it feels stupid once it leaves her lips. But it’s the kind of reasoning that she’s grown up with. Her and Lizzie come first. Always. And that’s not a bad thing, is it?

Well, except for the fact that her and Lizzie _haven’t_ always come first for Lizzie. Not since Hope came into the picture. But that’s normal, when you meet the love of your life. Space has to be made.

“It’s not a big deal.” Josie says, although it feels more like she’s telling herself that.

She can feel a sort of distance forming between her and Penelope with every second that passes right now. Penelope’s demeanour has changed. No more leaning into Josie or relaxed posture, instead she doesn’t even look over at Josie much at all. And when her eyes do find her, it’s filled with the weight of thoughts that Josie isn’t privy to, but make her feel judged all the same.

“It just sounds to me like you’re the only one expected to make allowances.”

That cuts into Josie, perhaps harsher than it should. Perhaps because it feels a bit too much like the truth. “You don’t get it.”

Penelope’s smile is almost cynical, her laugh dry, “Clearly not.”

The silence between them drags out, and Josie doesn’t get why Penelope’s even bothered by this.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.” Penelope shrugs, “I just think it’s a weird dynamic to have.”

Josie watches Penelope, wishing that the softer version of her that she’s starting to grow used to would return right about now. But whatever moment they’d been having before feels miles away now.

“We should go.” Josie says, before she gives into that part of her that wants to fight Penelope on this and make this exchange into something bigger than it needs to be. She doesn’t even get _why_ that part of her exists. Why it only seems to be _Penelope_ who brings it out.

Penelope nods, already getting up, but a second later she is offering her hand out to help Josie up. Josie accepts it, and she’s in Penelope’s space once more when she’s pulled to her feet, looking into green eyes and attempting to read just what is going on in Penelope’s head. Penelope doesn’t waver under Josie’s stare, and her hand remains in Josie’s for a few moments more than necessary.

And then she’s pulling away, and walking down the steps as she makes some dry joke about wanting to get out of here before the place comes falling down. 

And Josie wonders if maybe Penelope does care a little more than she lets on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironically enough, I'm at a bachelorette this entire weekend so I haven't been able to get as much editing done as usual. This was originally part of a big 8k chapter but I polled people on twitter and the majority said they'd want half of the chap now and half of the chap next week rather than miss this week, so here it is, folks! Still the length of a normal chap though so hopefully it's okay!
> 
> I proofread this while being very hungover so please leave a comment so I can read them while I suffer through brunch. See you next week!
> 
> Twt: saltzpen


	10. Chapter 10

They have dinner at Bonnie’s that night, and like at the engagement party, Penelope manages to find her place easily amongst Josie’s family.

She and Hope’s interactions seem to come more naturally than they were at the beginning of the day. Still slightly stiff, but there’s less tension than before. No more of the weight of words unspoken between them. Despite the improvement, Josie feels on edge whenever Lizzie speaks to Penelope.

This isn’t anything new for Lizzie. She’s never been one to hold back if she doesn’t agree with something or someone in Josie’s life. Josie’s never been too bothered by it before, never really cared much to even fight it when Lizzie has started to show her disapproval of Josie’s love interests. This time, though, it felt more personal. Which is stupid, considering this is the one time the relationship she’s defending isn’t actually real.

When dinner is over, it’s Josie who suggests they venture into town for a drink. She says it’s to reward Penelope for surviving an entire dinner of Lizzie’s probing stares, but if Josie’s being honest, she’s just making an excuse to spend some time with Penelope.

Although when they walk into the Mystic Grill, Josie immediately spots her dad sitting in one of the booths. She comes to a halt, and Penelope walks a few steps before realizing Josie’s no longer at her side, turning to look back at her with a questioning look. She follows Josie’s gaze and sees Alaric.

“Want to go somewhere else?” Penelope proposes, walking back to Josie.

Alaric must sense he’s being stared at, as he looks up from the notebook in front of him, and his eyes immediately light up when he sees Josie.

She’s been thinking about seeing him this weekend. Whether she’d seek him out or attempt to get by without having to see him at all. Seeing him now, there’s only one real decision she can make.

“No, I should say hi.” she attempts a sure smile for Penelope, “Is that okay?” 

Penelope just shrugs, but her surprise is evident on her features as she allows Josie to lead the way towards her father, no doubt thinking of the last time Penelope got caught up in such a scenario.

“I thought I heard your sister yelling at debutantes earlier.” Alaric jokes once Josie and Penelope reach him, standing up to greet them, “Miss Mystic Falls, right?”

Guilt trips Josie’s stomach at the confirmation that Alaric knew she was home this weekend. The fact that he didn’t attempt to reach out is different. Makes Josie feel even guiltier, that he probably knew asking to see her would be met with resistance.

Josie accepts her father’s hug, smiling at him when they part, “Lizzie convinced me to come along.”

“Brave, bringing Penelope here for the first time for _this._ ” Alaric’s eyes move to Penelope, “How’re you surviving?”

Penelope laughs, “I think I’m doing okay.”

“You say that now. Wait until you see Caroline in pageant-mode tomorrow. You’ll never look at her the same way again.”

Despite the glass of bourbon that Josie spots on his table, Alaric seems… stable. She knows it’s probably just the start of his night, but despite better sense she feels that familiar flicker of hope, at the fact that he’s made it past daylight moderately sober.

She decides not to draw attention to the fact that she’s found him in a bar with a bourbon yet again, despite the promises he made last time they saw one another. She knows there’s no point ruining what could be a good night with an argument she won’t win. 

“Join me?” the request sounds so hopeful that Josie doesn’t have it in herself to deny her father.

“I’ll get us drinks.” Penelope says as Josie sits down.

“Put them on my tab.” Alaric smiles at Penelope, “I’ll take another, too. They know what I’m drinking.”

Penelope looks unsure, and Josie can see how perplexed she is by the whole situation. Her eyes find Josie’s questioningly, like she’s asking permission.

“Just a club soda, please.” She says, and Penelope nods, reluctantly making her way to the bar. 

The exchange is so obvious that Alaric catches it, and he must see the apprehension on Josie’s face. “I know how it looks.” He says once Penelope’s out of earshot, “But I promise, I’ve been getting better.”

“Really?” Josie doesn’t hide the doubt in her voice.

“Yeah. You know, taking care of myself. Working out again, keeping busy.” Alaric looks to his empty glass, “It’s a few drinks on a Friday night. Nothing else.”

Josie doesn’t entertain it, just shrugs. She wonders if he ever sees the irony in all of this. In playing down his attachment to alcohol as nothing more than a casual delight, while not even being willing to entertain the idea of giving it up.

“I’m sorry about the engagement party. I got carried away.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Dad.” Josie sighs. It’s one thing for them to play pretend and attempt normal conversation; it’s another to hear those same excuses and hollow apologies that Josie grew tired of hearing years ago.

“It’s just emotional for a dad. Seeing my girls grow up.” Alaric continues anyway, and his laugh sounds so fake it’s like he doesn’t even believe himself. “I probably could have paced myself better.”

Josie refrains from responding with the fact that Caroline and Stefan seemed to do ‘emotional parental figure’ just fine without a drunken spectacle.

“Please, Dad.” Josie’s voice is firmer this time, and Alaric deflates, and drops it.

It would be easy for her to say what’s on her mind. To nag and berate him for being anywhere near a bar. But it amounts to nothing, and just makes it harder to leave.

“Are you writing again?” Josie asks, nodding to the well-worn notebook in front of him.

Alaric smiles, “Trying to. Without the school to run I’ve got so much time on my hands…” his fingers tap against the table – a tell that Josie picked up on long ago, indicating that he’s craving that next drink.

She wonders how many drinks he’s even on at this point; it’s always been hard to tell in those moments in-between.

Penelope re-joins them, sliding into the booth next to Josie and placing three glasses down in the middle of the table. Alaric accepts his drink with considerable relief, swiping it just the little bit too quickly. Josie notes the lack of whiskey in Penelope’s own glass. Instead, she’s nursing what looks like a club soda to match Josie’s. Something about the gesture softens her.

“How about you? How’s school going?” Alaric asks, drawing her eyes away from Penelope.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“And the writing?”

“Not… _as_ good.” Josie says, “We have to write a short story for one of my classes and I must be on my twentieth re-write by now.”

“That’s not like you.”

Josie shrugs, “Penelope can tell you how bad some of it is.”

“It’s not bad.” Penelope says.

Josie scoffs, “Yes, it really is.”

“It’s not. You’re a good writer. You just need to figure out what works.”

Alaric’s looking between them, a small smile on his face, “You let Penelope read your work?”

“Sometimes.”

His eyebrows rise, and he looks to Penelope, “It took me years to get her to let me read something she wrote.”

“It’s different. This is for school.” Josie says, although, she’s not sure if it is. She’s never been one to hand off _any_ of her writing to people outside of professors or obligatory sharing with classmates. Yet she’d passed Penelope over her writing without even thinking to care about it.

Alaric doesn’t look like he believes her, either, if the amused smile he wears is anything to go by.

Josie doesn’t let him dwell on whatever it is he’s thinking. Instead, she moves them onto a conversation about Lizzie and Hope’s wedding, because talking about herself with her father really just reminds her of how absent sorely absent his place in her life has become.

Penelope’s hand falls to Josie’s thigh at some point, when Alaric makes an offhanded comment that has Josie stiffening uneasily, and she finds that it actually brings a measure of comfort. Her hand remains there for the rest of the night and Josie doesn’t think to move away from the touch.

Josie takes note of each time Alaric orders another drink – feels that familiar tug of disappointment every time he disguises a trip to the bathroom with another order.

His speech starts slurring soon enough, but Penelope doesn’t show any sign of judgement. She doesn’t say anything when Josie insists that they take him home; just does what she did the night of the engagement party, and she helps where Josie will let her.

Before, Josie had seen pity in Penelope’s features, and she had resented it. Now, she recognizes it as concern. And it doesn’t feel… horrible. Having Penelope care.

Alaric’s house is a mess; dirty plates scattered about, bottles everywhere. Josie knows Damon comes by to check on him when he can, but she wonders just how much time her dad spends alone in the space. And there’s that guilt again; the feeling that maybe she should never have left town, that she’s a bad daughter for not being there for him.

She finds some meatloaf in the fridge, contained in what Josie recognizes as one of her mother’s cooking dishes, and Josie sets it in the microwave to heat up for Alaric. Penelope remains with her, resting back against the kitchen counter, watching Josie with a quiet curiosity that Josie doesn’t find as uncomfortable as she used to.

Penelope helps her clean up the space before they say goodnight to Alaric, and when they get back to the school, instead of going to bed they end up gathering a haul of snacks from the kitchen and sitting out by the pool. It’s Penelope’s proposal, and Josie’s not sure if it’s an effort to cheer her up or an attempt to avoid having to sleep in the same bed as Josie for as long as possible.

Either way, it’s nice.

When they originally started sleeping together, Penelope had been a type of escape. A way for Josie to forget about things and be someone else for a while. Now, Penelope offers something else. And it’s similar but not the same. Because this feels warmer, like Josie’s running towards something rather than away.

They’ve been sitting out here for a while, jeans rolled up so they can dip their legs in the pool, when Josie finally decides to acknowledge the alcoholic father hanging over their heads.

“I’m sorry that tonight ended up like… that.”

Penelope shrugs, “I wasn’t coming to Mystic Falls for a vacation. We’re here for you.”

It’s a nice sentiment; an easy out for Josie to leave the conversation at that and move on. But she finds that she doesn’t want to. Maybe because she feels like she owes Penelope an explanation, or maybe she just… wants to share this with her.

“He’s been through a lot.” Josie starts, and she watches where her and Penelope’s legs drift side-by-side in the pool. “My bio-mom… she and my dad were married. Mom– Caroline– she was just a friend. She was just supposed to be their surrogate. But before Lizzie and I were born… there was an accident.”

She’s never really told the story to anyone. Never wanted to or thought it was necessary. It’s hard, to miss someone you never really knew.

“She– uh… our mom. She died.” Josie fiddles with her hands in her lap, feeling Penelope’s eyes on her, “Her name was Josette Parker. I was named after her. No one really talks about it, but from what I do know, losing her almost ruined Dad. Caroline stepped in and helped; I guess she saw him spiralling and couldn’t leave him to raise us alone.

“Dad never really got over it but– I don’t know. He was a good father, for a long time. The best, really.” Josie hates that the memory of that version of the man feels so distant now. “But I don’t think he ever really grieved properly. I think me and Lizzie were his reason to keep it together. He was always a drinker, but it only started getting bad when we got older. When we stopped needing him as much.”

Penelope doesn’t speak, she grabs the popcorn bowl that sits between them and places it to her side, and then she shifts closer. Josie doesn’t know when Penelope’s presence started affecting her in such a way, but the small press of Penelope’s side against her own immediately calms her, makes that weight on her chest feel slightly lighter.

“When we graduated, I stayed here for two years. Lizzie and Hope were leaving for college, and I figured losing all of us at once would just… make it worse for him. So, I moved in with him and I figured, maybe, if he had me around, he wouldn’t feel alone. Wouldn’t feel like he needed to drink as much.” Josie rolls her eyes at her naivety now, “But obviously you can see how that worked out. He didn’t get any better, and it just… it hurt, you know? To be here and not be able to help. To not be _enough_ for him try and get better.”

“So, you left.” There’s no judgment in Penelope’s voice, but Josie’s gut trips with guilt all the same.

“Do you think I’m a bad daughter?”

Penelope frowns, “Why would I think that?”

“You saw what it’s like for him. What his place was like. That doesn’t exactly scream ‘daughter of the year’.”

“I don’t see how that’s your fault.”

“He’s my dad. And I just… left him here. He doesn’t have a job, everyone else has their own lives to focus on; he’s just… stuck here alone. How’s he supposed to get better if he doesn’t have any real reason to?”

“That’s still not your responsibility.”

“I love him, though. You’re supposed to help the people you love.”

“Not if they’re not willing to let you.” Penelope says, “You can’t give everything trying to help someone who doesn’t want your help, Josie.”

Josie doesn’t have an answer to that, too far gone in her own guilt to pay much mind to the comfort Penelope’s trying to offer. Instead, she goes quiet for a while, and Penelope lets her sit with her thoughts.

Penelope’s knee presses against Josie’s eventually, and the small touch brings a part of Josie back to earth. “Thank you for telling me.” she says, “I know it’s not easy.”

“Well, I figured after you’ve helped tuck my alcoholic dad into bed twice, I at least owed you an explanation.” Josie’s joke falls flat, and Penelope just smiles at her, like she can see how much just relaying the story has Josie’s mind digging her deeper into a hole she can’t always get herself out of.

Josie’s starting to wonder just how much Penelope might understand about her, after all. It’s apparently enough to know when Josie needs saving from her own mind.

“Josette, huh?” 

Josie can _hear_ Penelope’s grin, and she groans, “I’m going to regret telling you that, aren’t I?”

“Most definitely.”

“If you ever call me Josette, I promise you’ll regret it.”

“Now, Josette, is that any way to treat your fake girlfriend?”

“Penelope.”

“Josette.”

“Oh my god. Please.”

“Now, Josette–”

“I swear if you call me that again–”

“But _Josette–”_ Penelope doesn’t get the rest out. She’s too busy choking on water after Josie unceremoniously shoves her into the pool.

Josie regrets it immediately, unsure why exactly she did that. Penelope comes up spluttering for air seconds later, and the shocked expression she trains on Josie is both terrifying and kind of satisfying.

“SERIOUSLY?!”

Josie’s eyes widen as her voice carries across the pool area, “Shh! Students are sleeping!”

Penelope actually listens to her, amongst her anger, “Did you just _push_ me into the pool?” she hisses out.

“I’m _so_ sorry it was an accident–”

“You literally shoved me over the edge! What the fuck about _that_ is an accident?”

“You were teasing me!”

“ _SO_?!”

“I’m sorry!” Josie’s starting to laugh now, and Penelope glares at her.

“This isn’t funny.”

Josie tries to bite back her laughter, but seeing Penelope so woefully outraged as she floats in the pool makes it impossible. “I mean, it’s kind of funny.”

Penelope groans, “Fuck. My phone.” She’s pulling the device out of her pocket, drifting over to the edge and tossing it next to Josie, “You’re paying for that.”

That makes Josie feel guilty. “I will.” She promises.

“You’re lucky we’re not actually dating, or I’d be dumping your ass right now.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.” Penelope glowers at her, and then she holds her hands up to Josie, “Help me out.”

Josie snorts, already pulling her legs out of the pool and getting up to put some distance between them. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re obviously just going to pull me in there with you.”

Penelope rests her arms on the edge of the pool, watching Josie with a playful smile, “It’s actually kinda nice in here.”

“It’s heated.”

“I figured.”

Josie eyes Penelope, waiting, “… are you going to get out?”

“I’m not sure I trust you not to just throw me back in again.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Unfortunately, your promises mean very little to me right now.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “You’re so dramatic.”

“After all we’ve been through, too.” Penelope sighs, pushing off of the wall of the pool and drifting on her back, “I don’t think we can get past this one.”

“If I jump in will you stop complaining about falling in?”

“You _pushed me_!” Penelope laughs, “Josette Saltzman is a victim-blamer. Who knew?”

“Oh my god.” Josie smiles despite herself, “Okay, if I jump in will you stop calling me that name?”

Penelope tilts her head forward to peer at Josie, grinning, “Maybe.”

“I need a hard yes.”

“And I need a working phone. We can’t have it all, Josette Saltzman.” She swims back over to Josie’s side of the pool, holding her hand out, “Now are you going to help me up or do I have to get myself out of here?”

“You really think I’m an idiot, huh?”

Penelope just shrugs, keeping her hand held out and waiting.

Josie sighs, knowing exactly what she’s signing up for when she makes her way over to Penelope. She takes her hand, and for a moment it seems like Penelope actually does just want help getting out. But she only lets Josie lift her slightly before she’s yanking her arm back, pulling Josie into the pool.

It’s a lot more of an aggressive collision with the water than Josie had been intending to sign herself up for moments ago, and when she surfaces, she feels like a drowned rat.

“I literally _said_ I’d get in myself.” She coughs out, pulling her hair back from her face unhappily.

“It’s more satisfying this way.”

Josie splashes out at a laughing Penelope, “Jerk.”

Penelope splashes her back, and then they’re caught up in a chaotic back-and-forth that ends with Josie swimming over to Penelope and dunking her under the water. Which only ends with Penelope’s arms around her waist and pulling her down under the water with her.

They scramble against one another, and when they surface for need of air, it’s to the both of them yelling for a truce.

Penelope’s make-up is well and truly ruined– black smudged around her eyes and resembling a racoon as she laughs and swims over to the shallow end. Josie’s sure she looks a similar measure of dishevelled as she follows, joining Penelope where she rests back against the edge of the pool.

They’re silent for a while as both attempt to catch their breath, and Josie’s cheeks hurt from smiling and she can’t remember the last time she felt like this. Filled with childish-glee and without much of a care for anything except for what’s happening directly around her right now. Which is surprising, considering the night they’ve had.

“Pen?” Her breaths are heavy, and the nickname surprises her when it leaves her lips. She looks to Penelope, whose eyebrows only rise as she waits for Josie to continue. “Thank you.” The words feel heavy.

Penelope smiles, “For what?”

Josie’s not even really sure how to articulate the answer. How to thank her for this feeling. “I don’t know. You just make it… easy.”

“I’m easy, huh?”

Josie laughs, “Don’t ruin it.” She goes to splash Penelope, but Penelope catches her wrists in the middle of it.

“Oh, no. We are _not_ doing that again.” Penelope laughs, her full body turning to Josie as she keeps hold of her, “One drowning is enough for me.”

Josie grins back at her, and she pulls her hands towards her body, knowing the action will bring Penelope closer.

She sees Penelope’s confident expression falter, eyes glancing to Josie’s lips. Penelope clears her throat, “So, what did you mean?”

“What?”

“You said I make it easy.”

Josie’s having trouble gathering her own thoughts, “Just… I can talk to you.” She says, “It doesn’t feel like I have to censor myself or worry about what you might think. It’s… easy.”

Penelope’s hands are now pressing Josie’s against the edge of the pool, bracketing her head, and they’re painfully close now. Their breaths cloud into the cold air between them, and Josie loses herself for a moment.

“Yeah.” Penelope smiles softly, and her voice wavers and Josie’s not sure if it’s from the cold or from the same nerves she’s feeling right now. “I know what you mean.”

Penelope releases her hold on Josie’s wrists, but she doesn’t move away. Instead, her hands find purchase at Josie’s waist beneath the water, and Josie’s breath hitches at the soft touch. Her own hands move to rest on Penelope’s shoulders, and she’s not sure how long they remain in that moment, simply staring at one another. Josie thinks she could probably look at Penelope forever, even with the current state of smeared make-up across her face. Somehow, seeing her like this – messy and careless – only manages to draw Josie further in.

She reaches a hand up to cup Penelope’s face, thumb finding smudged mascara beneath Penelope’s eyes and attempting to wipe it away. Penelope leans into her touch slightly and Josie catches her gaze and a thought sits on her mind.

She could kiss her right now.

She _wants_ to kiss her right now.

Her hand drops to the back of Penelope’s neck, and she doesn’t look away from green eyes this time. Instead it’s Penelope whose eyes fall to Josie’s lips.

Penelope leans in, her nose bumping Josie’s as she does so. She doesn’t close the distance, her lips simply ghost Josie’s, like she’s still not sure if she’s going to do it. They brush, ever so lightly, to the point where Josie’s not sure if she’s just imagined it, but it sends shivers through her body all the same. She can feel Penelope’s hold on her waist tighten, their breaths mingling between them.

“ _Really_? In the school pool?”

The moment’s ripped away from them immediately. Penelope looks away from Josie, over to where the voice came from, and that impenetrable smirk traces her lips once more.

It’s Lizzie and Hope, walking hand-in-hand across the grass and towards the pool, and Josie almost barks out for them to turn around go back to wherever they’ve come from.

“We weren’t doing anything.” Josie mutters out, and she hears just how bitter she sounds about that.

“It looks like _something_ to me.” Lizzie says, her and Hope coming to a stop at the edge of the pool.

Penelope looks to Josie, glaring at her teasingly, “Your sister decided to attempt to drown me.”

“You probably deserved it.” Lizzie reasons.

“Oh, I did.” Penelope squeezes Josie’s side, but then she’s releases her, wading away in the pool and leaving Josie feeling completely disappointed in where this night has now led.

“Where’ve you guys been?” Josie asks, struggling to sound like she cares much at all.

“Just walking.” Hope smiles at her, “How was the Mystic Grill?”

“Fine. We ran into Dad.” Josie answers distractedly, glancing to where Penelope is climbing out of the pool and sitting back up on the edge. Her shirt is completely soaked through and Josie can see the ink of her tattoos beneath the now sheer fabric.

“Oh?” Lizzie’s brows rise, “How was that?”

“Yeah, it was okay. You know.”

Lizzie nods, pursing her lips, “We’re seeing him Sunday, before we go home.”

“He’ll like that.”

“You should come.”

Josie sees the look Hope gives Lizzie, a clear warning for her to drop it. Lizzie’s been particularly good about not pushing Josie when it comes to Alaric lately; she wonders if that’s more Hope’s doing. 

“It’s okay.” Josie feigns a smile, and Lizzie either takes Hope’s direction or reads Josie well enough to know to leave the subject alone.

“Right. Well, we’re going to bed.” Lizzie says, and she looks between Josie and Penelope pointedly, “Please think of the children and don’t have sex in the pool.” 

Penelope laughs, completely unphased by it, while Josie has to duck beneath the water to hide the redness in her cheeks as Lizzie and Hope head inside.

They don’t hang around after that. Josie follows Penelope out of the pool, and they go back to their room. The moment in the pool seems to hang painfully over them, but Josie doesn’t dare bring it up, and she can see that Penelope intends to ignore it, too. Josie uses the communal bathrooms to shower, allowing Penelope the one in their bedroom. Mainly because she’s not sure she’d survive being anywhere near a naked Penelope right now, and putting some space between them before they’re stuck in a room all night is probably a good idea.

When she returns to their room, Penelope is already changed and sitting on the edge of the bed. She looks up when Josie walks through the door, and the sight of her on the bed fills Josie’s head with thoughts that she has no business having.

“I’m okay with sharing.” Penelope says, “If you are.”

Josie’s not entirely sure she _is_ okay with it, but she knows explaining the reasons behind _that_ will just make this situation entirely more awkward than it needs to be.

“I’m okay with it.” Josie doesn’t meet Penelope’s eyes as she makes her way over to the other side of the bed, sitting down on the edge. There’s a painfully drawn out silence, where Josie thinks Penelope wants to say something. But then she hears Penelope moving, and when she looks over her shoulder, she’s lying beneath the covers with her back to Josie.

“Goodnight, Josie.” she murmurs out, no doubt feeling Josie’s stare on her back.

Josie releases the breath she had been holding, admitting defeat, “Night, Pen.”

She follows Penelope’s lead in sliding in beneath the covers. She faces her, hoping that maybe, Penelope will turn over and allow her a chance to read just what is going through her mind. But she doesn’t, and instead Josie’s left staring at the hint of a tattoo peeking out of the shoulder of Penelope’s tank top.

She hears Penelope’s breaths even out eventually as she falls asleep, and Josie follows after her soon enough.

And when she dreams, it’s of green eyes and soft lips, and kissing the girl next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment and lmk what you thought so I can read them while I cry over uni xoxo
> 
> twt: saltzpen


	11. Chapter 11

Josie wakes in the morning to the nostalgic scent of the shampoo stocked in all Salvatore showers. The first thing she realizes is that it’s not herself that she’s smelling, but Penelope. The second thing she realizes is that it’s because her head is tucked into the crook of Penelope’s neck.

Josie’s entire body goes rigid. She specifically remembers falling asleep with the herself positioned on the farthest edge of the bed possible, but apparently her body has betrayed her in her sleep. Now, there’s an arm that doesn’t belong to Josie slung over her waist, and smooth legs are tangled with her own beneath the sheets. She can hear the soft in-and-out of Penelope’s breaths as she sleeps and can feel the rise and fall of her chest.

Josie shifts back slightly to peer at Penelope, and as though protesting at the separation, the arm around her waist tightens and prevents her from moving any further away. Josie doesn’t attempt to move away from her after that.

She’s not sure how long she lies there watching Penelope – definitely long enough for it to be tremendously embarrassing if Penelope catches her. But she finds it hard to look away. Like this, Penelope looks different; relaxed and unguarded. Josie’s seen glimpses of this version of Penelope here and there – mere moments when Penelope puts aside her usual façade. And she knows it doesn’t mean anything, but it feels like it does, to be allowed to see her like this.

Josie’s heart refuses to calm down, so obnoxiously loud as it hammers in her chest that she’s almost afraid it will wake up Penelope. It’s ridiculous, anyway, that this is what having Penelope this close is doing to her right now. Because while they haven’t _slept_ in the same bed before, they’ve done much more, been a lot closer. Yet somehow it seems so much more intimate, this way. Being so close to her with nothing but the ability to notice every small breath, every detail of her face so close up.

Josie thinks her heart completely stops when Penelope starts to wake, and she’s treated to tired green eyes slowly opening to meet her own. Josie watches her begin to grow aware of her surroundings, sees what she’s sure is the same alarm she experienced when Penelope realizes the position they’re in.

Her eyes focus more clearly on Josie, and she shifts backwards, “Sorry.” She mumbles out groggily, and her arm leaves Josie’s waist as she rolls onto her back.

“It’s fine.” Josie smiles, hoping Penelope doesn’t catch onto just how long she’s been awake, prolonging the embrace. She tries to hide her disappointment at the loss of Penelope’s warmth.

“What’s the time?”

“Early enough that we haven’t been demanded at Founders’ Hall yet.”

Penelope sighs, looking up at the ceiling, “I know I said I was happy to help this weekend, but if I have a socialite barking orders at me all day again, I might just have to end this fake relationship.”

Josie laughs, “Was it bad yesterday?”

“Hope and I almost got our heads chewed off for not tying pretty enough bows to chairs.”

“You can stay with me today.” Josie smiles, “I’ll protect you from the Mystic Falls moms.”

“Please do.”

They lie there for a few minutes, and then Josie’s hand reaches out for the tattoo at Penelope’s shoulder without her really giving it permission to do so, and Penelope’s head lolls to the side to send her a questioning.

“Um– sorry.” Josie pulls her hand back, “I just… never really looked at your tattoos.”

“You’ve literally seen me naked.” 

Josie rolls her eyes, “Well I was a bit preoccupied with other things at the time.”

Penelope laughs softly, and her nose scrunches up adorably when she does so.

They should probably get out of bed. Josie doesn’t doubt that her mother and Lizzie are already at Founders’ Hall rushing around to prepare for Miss Mystic Falls. But Penelope’s making no move to get up, and Josie can’t really force herself to do so, either.

“When did you get them?” she asks, and she keeps her voice quiet, worried doing otherwise might scare Penelope away.

“Which one?”

Josie shrugs, “All of them.”

“Pick one.”

“Okay, your first one.”

Penelope smiles, “That would be…” she rolls over to her side, facing away from Josie, and her hand pulls her hair over her shoulder to reveal a small, black dragon, curving up the back of her neck. “This one.”

Josie’s reminded of times when her lips have traced along the bare, tanned skin of Penelope’s shoulders, and she’s caught a small glimpse of the piece. Back then, she didn’t care much to linger and explore the discovery further. Now, she reaches out to it, fingers tracing over the ink.

Penelope rolls over onto her back once more, before Josie can really linger. “I got it in the first month that I moved here.”

“Why?”

Penelope shrugs, “It was the first real taste of freedom I had.”

Josie smiles softly, “Your parents aren’t tattoo people?”

“That’s one way to put it.” Penelope shrugs, and as usual, she skirts around the topic, “Would you ever get one?”

“How do you know I don’t have one already?”

A smirk tugs at Penelope’s lips, “Because I _do_ remember what you look like naked.”

“Creep.” Josie mumbles out over a smile, and her hand trails down Penelope’s arm, to the patterned band that wraps around her wrist, “Do any of them meaning anything?”

“Kind of. More just… they remind me of things that were happening when I got them. Most of the designs were just things I liked.”

Josie’s hand trails up Penelope’s arm, travelling over to her ribs, where she knows Penelope’s shirt conceals a larger piece of ink. She can feel Penelope watching her quietly as she does so.

“You have a flower here.” She says, looking to Penelope questioningly.

Penelope nods, “A rose.”

“Can I see?”

“Josette Saltzman, are you asking me to get naked?”

Josie pinches Penelope’s side in answer, “What did I say about that name?”

Penelope laughs, “Do you really want to see it?”

“Maybe.”

Penelope huffs dramatically, “Alright.” and when she starts pulling her shirt up Josie immediately regrets asking for such a thing. Because now she’s looking at all that skin and all she can really think about is the amount of times she’s had full reign over Penelope’s body and she never truly appreciated it.

Josie’s surprised by her own boldness when her hand finds the rose, and she feels Penelope shiver beneath her touch.

“It’s pretty.”

Penelope doesn’t say anything, but Josie can feel the weight of her stare. Funnily enough Josie’s too nervous to meet her gaze, but not too nervous to let her fingers dance away from the rose and over to the geometric pattern tattooed at Penelope’s sternum. Penelope’s shirt remains covering her breasts, hiding away the majority of the ink, and Josie doesn’t try to venture further than she already has. She notes the goosebumps littering Penelope’s skin as her fingers brush over the pattern.

She thinks about trailing her lips along the ink, and the thought has a lump rising in her throat. She swallows hard, “Breakfast.” Josie blurts out, louder than she has been speaking, and she meets Penelope’s eyes then, blushing at the outburst.

Penelope arches a brow, a laugh falling from her lips, “Is that a proposal?”

“Yes.” Josie nods, pulling her hand from Penelope’s stomach, “We should get up.”

She climbs out of bed before she can find a reason to stay there, and when Josie showers that morning, the water is particularly cold.

* * *

Josie barely gets a chance to breathe once they get to Founders’ Hall. Caroline sets her and Penelope on a task and it’s non-stop after that, under the crunch to get the space prepared for the pageant. Josie’s thankful for the distraction, because when she’s busy keeping teen debutantes on schedule, it’s easier to ignore the constant draw she’s feeling towards Penelope.

They brought their own dresses for the event to Founders’ Hall, so when the time comes to get ready, Caroline appoints her and Penelope a room to get ready in. It takes everything in Josie not to glance Penelope’s way when she hears Penelope’s clothes drop to the floor on the other side of the room, and when she finally gives into the temptation, Penelope is already zipping up her dress, covering the skin that had been bared moments before. Josie’s sure if she’d looked over even seconds earlier, she’d have ended up doing something she most certainly should not even be thinking about doing with Penelope.

“How do I look?” Penelope asks, apparently oblivious to the fact that Josie has been almost completely frozen in her place upon taking her first glance at the woman in her deep green gown.

“Yeah.” Josie smiles, willing away the redness in her cheeks, “You– um. Yeah.”

Penelope grins, “Yeah?”

Josie just nods dumbly, “Yeah.”

“Do you need help?”

Josie only realizes now that she is still haphazardly holding her dress to her chest, the zipper undone at her back. “Oh.” Josie pauses, unsure if she even wants Penelope near her right now. But of course, saying no would mean explaining _why_. “Um… sure. Please.”

Penelope sends her a confused look, but she moves over to Josie, and she has to grab Josie’s hips to coax her to turn around. Josie swears time staggers in that moment. One of Penelope’s hands remains on her waist, the other edges the zipper up her back. She feels Penelope’s knuckles brush against her skin, the zipper following behind. Her breath hitches and she swears she feels breath against her neck, but doesn’t dare turn, knowing doing so will only end one way.

And then Penelope is stepping back, like she can’t get away fast enough, and Josie thinks, as she follows Penelope out of the room, that maybe she’s not alone in her current struggle.

When they re-join the excited crowds of Miss Mystic Falls guests, Penelope enters girlfriend-mode like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Her hand finds the small of Josie’s back and her entire presence seems to exist in harmony with Josie’s. They run into a consistent string of figures from Josie’s childhood, and Josie introduces Penelope as her girlfriend each time and it’s getting increasingly worrying how easily that lie falls from her lips. Like it’s not that far from the truth at all.

And she finds she likes it, being Penelope’s girlfriend. Having Penelope be the person that she’s brought home. There’s a certain level of pride that comes with it that Josie knows it makes no sense to feel, considering. But it’s there all the same.

When Miss Mystic Falls officially begins, and they congregate with the other guests at the bottom of the staircase to watch the announcement of contestants, the Penelope that Josie is used to makes a triumphant return.

“Oh, so it’s like… a _real_ pageant.” Penelope mutters out to her when the first contestant is announced and makes her way down the staircase towards her escort.

Josie only needs to turn her head slightly to look at Penelope, whose arm is around her waist, their sides pressed together lightly, “What did you think it was?”

“Maybe I’m an optimist, but I’d hoped that it might be something _slightly_ more progressive than archaic sexism.”

“It’s a part of the town’s history.”

“I’m not sure ‘history’ is ever a good reason for things to stay the same.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “Shocking, I know, but a lot of girls actually look forward to this. I’d looked forward to mine, anyway.”

Penelope snorts, “We’ll talk about _that_ later.”

“Can you keep the feminist hero at bay for tonight? You can fight the patriarchy when we get back to DC.”

“I make no promises.” Penelope tilts her head, watching the latest contestant make her descent, “Does anyone ever take a girl?”

“Sometimes.”

“That’s cool, I guess.” Penelope looks over Josie to where Hope stands on her other side, arm-in-arm with Lizzie, “I can’t believe you took part in this.” She says, garnering Hope’s attention and grinning, “I can’t believe you didn’t _tell me_.”

“Of course I didn’t. You would have shown up to watch.” Hope grumbles.

“Exactly. How could you deprive me of that entertainment?”

This is the first glimpse of what Josie thinks is a natural dynamic between Hope and Penelope, and jealousy immediately spikes in Josie.

“Did they give you a crown when you won?” Penelope continues to goad Hope, “Please tell me you still have it.”

“I have both of ours.” Lizzie smiles proudly, oblivious to the pained look on Hope’s face and the one of absolute glee on Penelope’s.

“It’s not like I was a willing participant.” Hope says, “It was part of some extravagant plan Lizzie had to make sure a Salvatore girl won.”

“Wasn’t she competing?”

“Not that year.”

“Dana _fucking_ Lilien.” Lizzie scowls.

Josie bites back a laugh at how fresh the wound still is for her sister. But Penelope is frowning, looking to Josie with a confused expression.

“What about Josie?”

Josie’s smile falters then.

“Oh, Josie helped sabotage the enemy. Which she was _amazing_ at, by the way. You’d have been proud, she basically launched herself off the staircase so she could take out Hope’s biggest competition.” Lizzie grins, but Penelope doesn’t return the amusement.

Instead, her frown just deepens, “Sorry I missed it.” She mutters out, not sounding sorry about it at all. Green eyes move to Josie questioningly, but then Penelope turns her attention back to the contestants, dropping the conversation and entering that uncomfortable quiet that Josie knows is layered with some kind of judgement that she doesn’t want to think about.

After that, the night goes relatively smoothly. The whole ordeal isn’t too bad this year, with Penelope at her side. She puts on a polite smile and sits through every random person from Josie’s childhood that approaches with tired small talk. For all her grumblings about the problematic undertones of subjecting teenage girls to a town-wide beauty pageant, Penelope plays to her role as the perfect girlfriend. And what would usually be an unbearably long night ends up quite the opposite. It shouldn’t really surprise Josie, though. Lately, things have generally seemed to be better when she’s had Penelope at her side.

She’s finding it harder and harder to ignore that fact.

* * *

After Miss Mystic Falls, they help with the clean-up before returning to Salvatore with Hope and Lizzie. Now, they’re in what is usually the teacher’s lounge, the fireplace lit while the four of them lounge around on the couches surrounding it. Lizzie swiped two bottles of champagne from Founders’ Hall before they left earlier, and they’re now nearing the end of the second.

Hope and Lizzie are curled up with one another on one couch, and Josie has taken advantage of the excuse to get closer to Penelope, lying down on their couch with her head resting in Penelope’s lap. She stopped paying much attention to their conversation at the same time that Penelope’s fingers started running through her hair, and Josie’s almost falling asleep under the touch.

“And that’s our cue to leave.” Hope declares, after Lizzie has started to reminisce about her Miss Mystic Falls year for the fifth time tonight. She climbs off of the couch, pulling Lizzie with her.

Lizzie pouts at her fiancé, “But I’m telling a story.”

“You can tell it in the morning, Babe. I’m tired.” Hope says, looking over to Josie and Penelope, “See you guys tomorrow.”

Josie waves her hand over at the pair, not bothering to get up, “Night.”

Penelope mumbles out a goodbye and Josie lets her eyes flutter closed as they’re left alone in the room. She feels Penelope’s stare on her soon enough, and it’s one of those _heavy_ ones, where Josie knows she’s thinking a lot harder about something than she should be. “What?”

Penelope’s fingers falter on their journey through Josie’s hair momentarily, “What?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

“And you’re still staring at me.” Josie quips, “Why?”

Penelope laughs, “It’s nothing.”

“Liar.”

Penelope doesn’t say anything, and the silence drags on and on, until Penelope finally breaks it with a soft laugh.

Josie opens one eye, “ _What_?”

“I’m just thinking about today.” Penelope grins, “You really did all of that, huh?”

“Mmhmm.” Josie sees the disbelieving look on Penelope’s face and laughs, “ _So_?”

“I just would have thought a teen Josie Saltzman would have been the type to protest such an event.”

“Yeah, well, you kind of forget your feminist agenda when it comes to things your mom gushed about since you were a kid.” Josie shrugs.

“So, you did _everything_? The question round, the talent contest…”

“Yes, I did it, and no, I won’t tell you what my talent was.”

“I’ll find out eventually.” Penelope shrugs, and Josie has no doubt she will, knowing how persistent Penelope can be. “How about the dance? You did that, too?”

“Of course.”

“Show me.”

“What?”

“The dance.” Penelope’s smile widens, and then she is moving out from underneath Josie, getting to her feet. “Come on, Saltzman.”

Josie remains lying on the couch for a few moments, mourning the loss of Penelope’s warmth and balking over at her, “Are you serious?”

“I’m always serious.” Penelope waggles her eyebrows at Josie, holding her hand out, “Show me how it’s done.”

Josie eyes the outstretched hand apprehensively, but Penelope’s stubborn, so she chooses the path of least resistance, accepting the help up and letting Penelope lead her out to the middle of the room.

“We should really go to bed.” Josie mutters out, but Penelope ignores her as she pulls her phone out of her pocket and turns a song on before tossing it onto the couch.

When Penelope moves to stand in front of Josie, they stand in a stalemate for a while, until Josie gives in with a few cursed grumblings under her breath.

“Well… first, we honor each other.” Josie starts reluctantly, and she crouches into a curtsy. Penelope copies her with an extra dramatic flair, and she rolls her eyes at the teasing. “Don’t be annoying about it.”

Penelope laughs, “I’ll try.”

Josie grudgingly continues, stepping towards Penelope. “We don’t touch at first.” She raises her right hand, and Penelope does the same, a few inches between their palms. “And… we circle each other.”

Penelope follows her lead, as they circle one another, palms remaining up between them.

“It’s all about eye contact.” Josie murmurs, and when green eyes move from their hands to meet Josie’s gaze, Josie almost regrets mentioning it. Her stomach dips the moment their eyes meet, and Penelope’s so firm in holding her gaze that it has her wanting to look away out of pure nerves.

She clears her throat, “Then– um– your left hand.” She does the same as before with her other hand, and Penelope grins at her as they circle one another again.

“So, is touching seen as a sin in Mystic Falls?”

“ _No_.” Josie glares playfully at Penelope, “It’s just about _building_ to it. The ‘intimacy of a near touch’.” She cringes at how she practically _hears_ her mother’s voice when she says it. They finish circling one another, “And now both hands.” She prompts, bringing them to turn again.

Penelope follows her obediently, “You know what’s more intimate?”

Josie narrows her gaze, her response dry. “I think I can guess.”

She’s taken by surprise when Penelope advances on her smoothly. One hand closes the distance and grasps Josie’s, and the other finds the small of Josie’s back and pulls her in so their bodies are flush. Penelope smirks, “Actually touching.”

The boldness of the action has Josie’s cheeks reddening, and she breaks eye-contact for the first time out of sheer need to save herself _some_ of her pride. “That was the next step, anyway.” She says, pretending having Penelope this close isn’t making it hard for her to breathe. “So don’t look so smug.”

Penelope still looks pleased with herself, and then she starts moving, and Josie frowns when she realizes Penelope’s leading the dance now, like it’s second-nature to her.

“You can dance.” She says, surprise clear in her tone.

“Of course. Page four of the Pretentious Heiress Handbook requires all of us to be able to dance a waltz at a charity event.”

“I find it hard to imagine you even agreeing to go to one of those.”

Penelope’s smile falters slightly, but she wills it back again, “You’re assuming I was ever given an option.”

It’s supposed to be light-hearted, but like most things Josie hears about Penelope’s childhood, she can’t help but note the sadness behind it. “Pen…” she starts cautiously, unsure if she’s going to ruin the night if she ventures where her mind has already gone.

Penelope arches a brow, waiting for her to continue.

“Can I… can I ask how it happened? What made you leave?”

Penelope purses her lips, but she actually entertains the question, which Josie hadn’t excepted.

“It’s not much of a story, really.” She says, “I wanted different things for myself. And that was never going to happen in New Orleans.”

“So, you left?”

“I guess. It wasn’t supposed to be as… permanent as it is now.”

“How so?”

Penelope’s eye cast aside for a moment, “Well, I chose to leave. But– uh… it was my family’s decision that I’d never come back. Not to them, anyway.” Hurt flickers over her features briefly, but then she clears her throat, shrugging like she couldn’t care less. “It was a blessing in disguise, though. It’s easier to stay away when you don’t have an alternative.”

Josie moves the hand of hers that is held by Penelope’s, linking their fingers together. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I never had a family like you or Hope, so… it’s not like I was losing something that was ever really… good.”

“Still. You deserved more.”

“Maybe.”

“No, you did.” Josie stops moving, their dancing coming to a halt. But she doesn’t step out of Penelope’s hold. “I might not know your family or what it was really like for you… but I know that they’re the ones missing out by not having you in their lives. And I know that you deserved better than people who couldn’t see that.”

Penelope’s stare is almost penetrating as she looks at Josie, but her expression is unreadable. And then a soft smile tugs at her lips, “ _You_ hated me once.” She points out.

Josie lets out a soft laugh, “Yeah, well… I didn’t know you.”

“And now you do?”

Something changes in Penelope’s gaze, and it’s so heavy that it makes Josie catch her breath. “I think so.” Her eyes fall to Penelope’s lips briefly, her tongue running over her own. “I _want_ to.”

Penelope nods, and Josie sees her gaze drop for a moment, but then a new song is playing, and Penelope is stepping away from Josie.

“We should go to bed.” she says, sounding distant.

Josie wants to fight her, but she doesn’t, and they make their way to their room in silence. But unlike other times, that thing between them doesn’t fade at the loss of contact. Instead, it seems to hang over Josie’s head, building with every second she spends in Penelope’s presence. And when they make it to their room and the door shuts behind them, Josie swears she feels it grow twice as heavy.

Josie hovers in her place by the door, watching as Penelope walks over to sit on the bed and takes off her heels. The sight of Penelope on the bed brings with it a number of memories, and with those comes a collection of thoughts. One that sticks with her is that she’s forgotten what it feels like, to have Penelope’s bare skin pressing down against her own. She tries to think of when she had Penelope in such a way, but she comes up empty for details; like it was lived by someone else, with someone else.

And her next thought is that she so desperately wants to remember it all. Wants to see Penelope vulnerable and breathless and to be the one making her so. Wants to imprint it in her mind so that she’s never foolish enough to forget it again.

And then she’s walking over, and she doesn’t give Penelope an opportunity to say anything when she looks up at her. Instead, her knees bracket Penelope’s hips on the edge of the bed, her eyes search for any sign of refusal on Penelope’s face, and when she comes up empty, she kisses her.

To her credit, Penelope doesn’t falter. She kisses her back like she’s been thinking of doing nothing but that all night. Her hands grip Josie’s waist tight at first, then wrap around her, pulling her closer in. 

It’s nothing sweet, but it’s also nothing like the other times Josie’s found herself with Penelope’s lips against her own. It’s still hungry and desperate but there’s some other measure of need to it that takes Josie’s breath away. Their heads angle to deepen the kiss, tongues dipping into mouths and heavy breaths escaping between them as they both attempt to take as much as they can.

She feels the fabric of her dress brushing against her legs as Penelope pulls it up and she gasps into the kiss when Penelope’s hands find her bare thighs beneath.

Josie’s hands move on their own accord, up the back of Penelope’s dress, finding the zipper and pulling it down.

“We shouldn’t.” Penelope mutters into the kiss, but her shoulders are dropping and allowing Josie to pull down the straps of her dress.

Josie nods, “I know.” But when she breaks the kiss, her lips only move to descend on Penelope’s collarbone.

And sure, they said they wouldn’t do this, but it’s not like it’s a line they haven’t crossed before. And since when has _Penelope Park_ ever batted an eyelid at the idea of a meaningless hook-up?

But this isn’t that Penelope Park, is it? This is that different version of her; the woman who knows tiny insignificant details about Josie and helps her when her dad has had too much to drink and somehow just _knows_ what Josie needs and when.

This is the Penelope Park that Josie doesn’t know.

And maybe that’s what’s different here. Because this is the Penelope she wants; and it feels nothing close to meaningless.

“ _Fuck_.” Penelope breathes out when Josie’s teeth scrape along her skin, and then her hands are grabbing Josie’s waist and she’s rolling them over. Josie groans in frustration when her back hits the mattress and Penelope steps away. She rests back on her elbows and prepares for this to be the end of it, looks at a flushed Penelope and waits for her to deliver the common sense that Josie’s lacking right now.

But it doesn’t come. Instead, Penelope lets her dress drop to the floor, and Josie’s mouth goes dry at the sight of her. Black lace over soft, tanned skin that Josie’s fingers itch to reach out and touch. Penelope’s eyes are dark, pupils blown and gaze half-lidded as she looks at Josie; her lips are swollen and she’s looking at Josie like she’s scared she might fade away. And then she’s advancing on Josie once more, stepping between Josie’s legs, hands finding her face and capturing her lips in a kiss that has Josie whimpering beneath her.

“We can’t.” Josie says this time, even as she allows Penelope to start tugging at her dress. She’s not sure if she even means it, or if she’s just saying it to make her feel better for at least trying to practice some common sense. Penelope crouches as she pulls the fabric down Josie’s body, lips brushing over Josie chest, breasts, stomach as she passes by. The dress falls to the floor and Penelope moves to rid Josie of her shoes, her fingers brushing over Josie’s skin as she undoes the straps and even that small, insignificant touch has Josie trembling. Penelope rises when she’s done, and she rests a finger under Josie’s chin, coaxing her to meet her gaze.

“Tell me to stop.” She says, and it almost sounds like she’s pleading with Josie.

And Josie wishes she could. Because even now she can _feel_ what this will do to them. Wanting Penelope like this is enough of a threat to the safe and secure place that she’s guarded for herself for so long. Giving into that desire is just asking Penelope to ruin her. But right now, she’s never wanted something so much. And unless Penelope stops this, Josie won’t be able to step away.

“Josie.” Penelope’s thumb brushes over her jaw, and Penelope is wearing her own desire on her sleeve. In the way her body leans towards Josie, the soft stutter of her breaths, the heavy rise and fall of her chest. “Tell me.”

Josie reaches for Penelope’s hand, pulling it from her face and pressing a kiss to her palm. She attempts to will herself to do it. To find that rational part of her that knows putting a stop to this is the smarter choice. But instead, when she looks to deep green eyes, what leaves her mouth is a soft, “No.”

Josie’s not sure if it’s relief or anguish that crosses Penelope’s face, but then Penelope’s kissing her again, and it’s hard and desperate. Neither of them breaks the kiss as Josie edges up the bed, Penelope following her. Josie lets out a quiet groan into the kiss as Penelope straddles her waist, and she can’t remember being this overwhelmed the last time she had a near naked Penelope on top of her.

It’s almost instinctual, how they fall into place with one another. But it also doesn’t feel familiar; like they’re learning one another for the first time. Penelope breaks the kiss, leaning back on her knees to look down at Josie. She runs her hand through messy black hair, watching Josie like she’s deciding where she wants to explore next. Like she’s not even sure where to start. Josie rests up on her elbows, leaning forward to kiss the rose at Penelope’s rib cage. She hears Penelope’s breath hitch, feels hands thread through her hair as Josie’s lips trail over to the ink that patterns her sternum, beneath the wire of Penelope’s bra.

Josie’s hands find the latch of the bra, and Penelope doesn’t stop her from ridding her of the garment. Josie doesn’t get to explore the new expanse of her skin for long before Penelope’s grip tightens in her hair and she pulls her back up, kissing her again.

Penelope shifts her body as she kisses Josie, their legs entwining as she lowers her weight onto her and presses Josie into the mattress. She releases Josie’s lips in favor of bringing her own to the skin beneath Josie’s ear, and turns into a complete, breathy mess as Penelope sucks and nips at her, dragging kisses down Josie’s neck.

After that, any thoughts of stopping are completely forgotten. And Josie tells herself that if she’s going to make a mistake, she might as well make it as thoroughly and recklessly as possible. Because at least when she has to face the music, she’ll do so with the feeling of Penelope’s body against her own etched into her memory.

When Josie wakes in the morning, body aching and the ghost of Penelope’s touch lingering, she reaches for Penelope, and Penelope’s not by her side.

And she realizes that the problem with memories like that, is that all you want to do is relive them again afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It had to happen eventually. Hopefully, this was worth the wait. The bad news is that I'm at a wedding next weekend, so I won't be updating next week, so I'll update the next chap at the usual time 2 weeks from now! I figure at least this way I'm leaving y'all on a good note.
> 
> Anyway in the meantime please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. I'm a bit nervous about this chap for some reason lmao so it'd be nice to hear from y'all.
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> twt: saltzpen


	12. Chapter 12

Making rash decisions isn’t anything particularly new to Josie. When you’re the type of person to bottle things up rather than deal with them, you become prone to the odd outburst here and there. Sometimes it comes in the form of a fight with her twin sister, other times it’s a string of selfish acts that only really come back to bite Josie in the ass.

It was Christmas time last year, when Penelope Park first fell prey to of one of Josie’s outbursts. A week-long trip to Mystic Falls had found Josie returning to DC with the weight of her father’s demons freshly pressing down on her shoulders, and she’d taken aim at the first target she could find. When she’d first decided to go to her work’s Christmas party, she hadn’t planned on doing anything but attempting to enjoy herself with MG. But throw in a snarky bartender particularly talented in getting on Josie’s nerves, and she quickly deviated from the plan.

Fighting with Penelope hadn’t been anything new. But what came after it, was.

Josie still doesn’t really know what had happened. One minute they were bickering, and the next, she was in the alley outside the back of the bar, pressed against a brick wall with Penelope’s lips on her own. Usually, when Josie makes mistakes like that, she shoves them to the deepest corners of her mind and goes about her life like usual. Obviously, that didn’t happen this time, and instead Penelope had become a convenient outlet for Josie in the months after that.

Josie would like to think her most recent night with Penelope was the product of a similar outburst. Which, she’s sure it was. It’s just that the difference this time, is what drove said outburst was feelings for the very woman she’d crawled into bed with.

It’s been two weeks since she and Penelope slept together, and she hasn’t been able to think about much else but that night. The memory sits deeply ingrained into her mind and she can’t tell if it’s a blessing or a curse. The idea is that if Josie can just cling to that one night, it will be enough. She won’t need to risk the fragile friendship she’s built with Penelope. Caring about Penelope at all was never something Josie planned for or wanted; but it’s happened, and now the thought of losing it instils a fear in Josie that she hasn’t felt for a long time.

Neither of them has mentioned it since the morning after. Josie had woken up alone in the bed, and she thinks that might have been for the better. Because the fear Penelope’s absence spiked in her was all she needed to remember the reason why she doesn’t do this. Why she doesn’t pick the kinds of people that she can’t predict. The kinds of people who she can’t prepare for, who will hurt her when they leave or choose someone else.

Penelope had walked through the door minutes later, dressed and ready for the day. She’d paused to look at Josie when she noticed she had woken, and Josie’s stomach lurched at the hesitance on Penelope’s face, pulling the sheets up over herself in an act of self-consciousness that she hadn’t felt the night before.

_“Last night…”_ Penelope started, but Josie beat her to the bullet.

_“We were drunk.”_ she said, schooling her features into an expression of indifference, _“It doesn’t have to mean anything_.”

Josie knew that Penelope could hear the lie; could probably hear how it meant everything.

Penelope had expelled a soft sigh, and nodded, “ _Okay_.” And then she’d gotten back to packing her things, like Josie wasn’t a naked reminder of everything they’d done the night before.

_“Pen…”_ Josie had paused, almost feeling too vulnerable to say it, _“I don’t want this to change things.”_

She’d only just gotten this thing with Penelope. The idea that she might lose it so fast all because of one night hurt more than she’d expected.

_“It was one night.”_ Penelope said, _“It won’t change things unless we let it.”_

And that had been that.

Josie hadn’t had it in her to entertain the idea of what would have happened if she’d been honest, if she’d told Penelope that it was more than some drunken mistake to her.

And because Penelope is that kind of person, she kept her word. And it didn’t change things between them.

It’s been two weeks since then, and but for the memory on repeat in Josie’s mind, it’s like it never even happened. Penelope doesn’t avoid Josie and that comfort they’d begun to feel around one another is still there. Although with their co-workers now believing the lie that they’re together, most of the time Josie gets to spend with Penelope is spent keeping up appearances.

Josie had thought after Mystic Falls that they might start hanging out away from work; but obviously, sleeping together had just about ruined those chances. Josie’s not sure she trusts herself to be alone with Penelope at all.

Although, spending so much of their time together pretending to be in a relationship isn’t too easy, either. At times, it’s hard for Josie to decipher what’s part of the lie and what isn’t.

Like right now, when MG’s decides it’s Penelope’s duty to reign Josie in for being too demanding.

“Peez, your girlfriend’s being a dictator.” He remarks, after Josie’s scolded him for the third time this afternoon over an admittedly mundane issue.

Penelope is hungover, and Josie doesn’t know when seeing her in such a state stopped being annoying and became endearing, but when she meets tired green eyes, she practically melts. Penelope frowns over at her, and then she’s stalking out from behind the bar to lean against the table that Josie is sitting at. She has a cigarette tucked behind her ear, ready for her ritual escape before the night rush begins. Penelope watches Josie for a few moments, then reaches for her, a finger resting beneath her chin and coaxing her to meet her gaze.

(Josie immediately thinks of Penelope doing the same thing when she’d been half-naked).

“What’s got you pissy?” Penelope asks, when she’s got Josie’s attention. Her voice is husky – probably from too many cigarettes last night – and Josie makes a point of not letting herself think too much about just what Penelope gets up to on the nights that leave her like this.

She can’t tell if Penelope’s just playing her part or if the way her thumb brushes over Josie’s jaw is an actual show of comfort.

“I’m not pissy.” Josie grumbles, pushing Penelope’s hand away lightly, “I’m just stressed out.”

“About?”

“Lizzie’s bachelorette party.” She leaves out the additional fact that she’s slept like shit lately because every time she closes her eyes, she sees Penelope.

Penelope frowns, “I thought you had that planned like a month ago.”

It still surprises Josie how much Penelope pays attention. “I _did_.” She scowls, “It was all perfect. She _said_ she wanted it to be classy, so I organized a beauty day and we were all going to go to dinner somewhere nice and go dancing after. But apparently when she said ‘classy’ she also expected me to know she somehow wants it to be trashy, too.”

“Classy trashy?”

“Classy trashy.”

Penelope laughs, “That’s not that bad. Just book some strippers. Do the classy shit in the day and plan a bender for the night.”

“How am I supposed to plan that with _two days_ until the party? Lizzie wouldn’t be caught dead in a strip club and I don’t even know how I’d go about organizing a stripper to come to the party.”

“Girl or guy?”

“What?”

Penelope rolls her eyes, “Would she want a girl or a guy to grind on her for her last night of freedom?”

“Oh.” Josie frowns, thinking about it, “… maybe a guy? Or a girl. Both?”

“Greedy.” Penelope grins, “If you can handle letting go of the responsibility, I can sort it out for you.”

“ _How_?”

Penelope shrugs, “I have a friend who can probably help you out.”

Josie rests back in her chair, eyes narrowing at Penelope, “A friend?”

“Yeah. She’s a stripper.”

“You’re friends with a stripper?”

Penelope arches a brow, “Is there a problem with that?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking.” Josie rolls her eyes, sensing the feminist scolding Penelope probably has up her sleeve about the matter, “I just didn’t know.”

Penelope’s toying with her lighter between her fingers, “Well, now you do. No big deal.”

Josie suddenly finds her task of polishing silverware a lot more captivating, as she pretends to be less interested in the answer to her next question than she is. “So… is she a _friend_ friend?”

Penelope tilts her head, “Why’re you asking?”

“Curiosity.”

A smirk tugs at Penelope’s lips, but she lets it slide, “Do you want me to organise it, or not?”

Josie’s not entirely sure she _does_ want Penelope to organize it, if this is in fact a ‘friend’ of hers. But she’s also not in the position where she’s about to let it show that that fact might bother her a little bit.

“I mean… sure.” She says, “If you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine. Wouldn’t hurt to get some Lizzie brownie points.” Penelope says, “I still don’t think she likes me that much.”

“She likes you more than other people I’ve dated.”

“I feel like that’s not saying much.”

“It really isn’t.” Josie laughs, “You don’t have to get on her good side for me.”

Penelope pauses, eyes falling to the flame of her lighter, “I know. But if I’m going to be friends with Hope again, I should probably get along with her fiancé.”

Josie’s smile falters, but she quickly schools her features, trying not to let it show how the response disappoints her. Because of course it’s not about her. And it shouldn’t bother her that it _isn’t_.

“Now if you’re done freaking out about strippers and barking orders at MG…” Penelope coos teasingly as she pushes off the table, receiving an eyeroll from Josie, “I’m going for a smoke before it gets busy in here.”

Josie sighs, “Sure. Just don’t–”

“ _Take too long_.” Penelope mocks Josie’s voice, but it doesn’t sound mean. Almost… fond. She leans down as she passes, pressing a teasing kiss to Josie’s cheek. “I know the drill.”

Josie catches herself blushing as Penelope walks off and she lets out a groan.

She really needs to get a handle of herself.

* * *

Where Josie used to create reasons to avoid Penelope during shifts, Josie now creates reasons to be around her. Particularly lately, considering the lack of any wedding-related excuses to call upon Penelope’s presence outside of work. It’s a Thursday, so the bar is busy tonight, but not so busy that Josie hasn’t managed to spend a large majority of her time hovering by the bar to talk to Penelope.

She’s been throwing ideas back-and-forth with her for Lizzie’s bachelorette, but Josie’s mind keeps coming back to one little thing.

“So, this stripper...”

Penelope looks over at her, twirling a bar blade around her finger, “Her name is Sasha.” She says, a small smile toying at her lips. “What about her?”

“Well… does she know about me?” Josie blushes at Penelope’s arched brow, “I mean– will you tell her we’re together?” it annoys Josie how comfortable it feels, to talk about them like they’re a couple. How little it feels like a lie. She tells herself she’s just grown used to it, thanks to having to now keep it up around their workmates.

“Would you like me to tell her?” Penelope asks.

“It might be a good idea. You know– to be safe. Especially if you have a… history.”

Penelope grins, “Sure. If you say so.”

Josie frowns at the lack of denial, and she tries not to let herself fixate too much on the fact that Penelope most definitely has a history with the woman. It’s not like Josie’s not used to it. There are probably at least two people in the bar right now that Penelope has climbed into bed with. Which– fuck it. She shouldn’t have thought about _that_ either.

And she knows she shouldn’t pry, but she does so anyway, “So when was the last time you two…”

Penelope snorts, “Really? Are you going to ask who’s better in bed next?”

Josie glares at her, “ _No_. I just think I should know the timeline in-case it could complicate things.”

Penelope clearly doesn’t believe Josie – which is fair, because Josie is lying through her teeth when she claims she’s asking out of anything but jealousy.

Penelope’s saved by the bell, which rings out from the kitchen and demands Josie’s attention, and she begrudgingly drops the topic for the moment. She collects the burger and delivers it to a customer that sits up at the bar, and Josie is about to return to nagging Penelope when the customer pulls her attention back to him.

“Um– excuse me?”

Josie pauses in her departure and turns back to the customer, expecting a request for ketchup or – if she’s unlucky – a premature complaint about the burger not being up to standard. But instead, the guy is looking at her with a familiar smile that makes her frown.

“It’s Josie, right?”

Josie pauses, confused, but she forces a customer-friendly smile and steps back over to the man, “That’s me.”

“I thought so.” His smile is kind, and his dark brown eyes watch Josie for a few seconds, until he realizes the uncomfortable shift in Josie’s stance, “Oh. Sorry. Just– we were in the same class last year.”

“Really?” Josie notes he looks familiar, but she can’t quite place him. Messy brown hair hangs around his face, like a mane, and Josie might think it was effortless bedhead, if it weren’t for the well-kept beard that gives him away.

He laughs, unphased, “Dorian Field?”

The name jogs Josie’s memory – but it’s of a clean-cut version of the man, unlike the scruffier version in front of her, “Oh my god, yeah. For poetry, right? I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”

“No offence taken. I didn’t have all… _this_ back then.” He gestures at his hair, grinning, “I figured I’d try the unkempt writer thing.”

Josie laughs, “It looks good on you.”

“Thanks.” His smile is contagious – flirtatious in a way that has Josie actually giggling in reaction, “So how have you been–”

A drink slams down in front of him then, startling them both. “Hendricks and tonic?” Penelope isn’t looking at Dorian as she says it, instead, she stares at Josie.

Dorian lets out a confused laugh, “Uh… yeah. Thanks.” He pulls the drink over to him, sending Penelope a bewildered look that she either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care to notice.

Penelope arches a brow at Josie, “Everything okay?” she asks, and Dorian shifts in his seat at the tone of her voice, catching onto the real question she’s asking: _‘is he bothering you?’_.

Josie frowns pointedly at Penelope, “… yeah. I’m fine.”

Rudeness towards customers isn’t exactly unheard of when it comes to Penelope, but usually there’s actually something to prompt it from the bartender. The idea that Penelope might actually be jealous is almost laughable, considering the conversation they’d been having only minutes before.

Penelope stares at her for a beat, and her jaw tightens before she stubbornly accepts the answer, finally looking to Dorian. “Sorry, pretty boy. Flirting with your waitress doesn’t get you a free drink.”

Josie’s eyes widen, “ _Penelope_.”

“What? This is a transaction. He kind of needs to pay.”

“Clearly he was going to do that.”

“Fantastic.” Penelope looks to Dorian expectantly, “ _So_?”

Josie gapes at Penelope, but Dorian just laughs, albeit awkwardly. “I’ll just start a tab.” He says, pulling a card out of his wallet for her.

Penelope actually _rolls her eyes_ at him as she snatches the card, “Fine.”

She turns on her heels without another glance at Josie, and Josie watches her walk over to make her home at the other end of the bar.

“I’m so sorry.” Josie says when she turns back to Dorian.

The man just laughs, shrugging, “It’s fine. I’m gonna guess that’s your girlfriend?”

“… something like that.”

“That’s an ambiguous answer.”

Josie laughs, “Yeah, well…” she leaves it at that, not quite wanting to divulge to a stranger the ins-and-outs of the increasingly complicated topic that Penelope is becoming. Instead she asks after Dorian’s own life, and they don’t speak for much longer before she gets back to work.

She’s in the middle of dealing with a table of customers when Dorian takes his leave, sending her a small wave as he goes. When Josie makes her way to the bar to place her latest order, Penelope is wearing a scowl that Josie ignores. But then Penelope walks over to stand next to her at the till, green eyes boring into Josie as she rests against the bar and watches her.

Eventually, she drops a napkin down next to Josie’s hand on the counter, “From your boyfriend.” Penelope’s voice is colder than usual. “Said he’d like to ‘catch up’ some time.”

Josie frowns down at the napkin, where what she assumes is Dorian’s number is scrawled across it messily, “…thanks.” She pockets it without thinking much of it at all, but when she looks up, Penelope is staring at her unhappily. “What?”

Penelope’s gaze narrows, and then she scoffs, pushing away from the counter, “Nothing.”

Of course, it isn’t nothing. And after that, Penelope makes a rapid return to the version of herself that Josie used to be accustomed to. Only now, it feels harsher than before, probably because Josie has let herself get too comfortable with a softer Penelope. Or because before, it seemed like it was nothing more than menial entertainment for Penelope to get under Josie’s skin. Right now, it seems to flow from a different place entirely.

She questions Josie on almost everything, but it comes with none of the usual banter. All eye-rolls and no attempts to make Josie’s life any easier than it needs to be. She passes almost every order Josie puts through onto the MG, and scowls every time Josie asks for so much as a glass of water.

If it were anyone else, Josie would probably just drop it and wait it out. But Josie’s never been one to back down when it comes to Penelope; so, when Penelope takes her break, Josie only waits a few minutes before she storms outside to follow her.

When Josie steps out into the alley, Penelope is leaning up against the wall, a cigarette already lit between her lips. She looks utterly bored when she spots Josie walking towards her.

“Aren’t you the one always getting mad when two people take a break at the same time?”

“Why’re you being a jerk?”

Penelope laughs, but it drips with malice, like she couldn’t be less enthused about this conversation, “I didn’t come out here for a heart-to-heart, Saltzman.” 

“You’ve been an ass to me all night.”

“I’m generally an ass to you. That’s kind of our thing.”

“It _hasn’t_ been. Not lately.” Josie bites out, “Is this because of Dorian?”

Josie sees Penelope’s jaw tighten, and Penelope takes her time with a drag from her cigarette before answering. “Who’s Dorian?” she says, deciding to be difficult.

“The guy who left me his number.”

Penelope tilts her head, and she smiles falsely over at Josie, “Now why would I care about him?”

“I don’t know. Maybe after Mystic Falls–”

“I thought we weren’t talking about that.” Penelope says, “Preserving our special friendship, and all that.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… _that.”_ Josie huffs, “You agreed with me that it wasn’t going to be a big deal. If you had a problem with that, you should have said something. I thought we were on the same page.”

Penelope rolls her eyes, “We are.”

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was supposed to applaud when a guy flirts with you.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Josie says, “You flirt with people every single night and sleep with whoever you want and I don’t say _anything_ , but some random guy shows interest in me and that’s a problem?”

Penelope shrugs disinterestedly, “Would you _like_ me to stop flirting with people?”

“That’s not my point.”

“Well you brought it up. If you have a problem with it, maybe you should say something, rather than pouting every time a customer even looks at me.”

“I don’t pout.” Josie snaps, “And maybe you should take your own advice, rather than being a dick just because you didn’t like that someone else had my attention for a space of a whole minute.”

“Fine.” Penelope says, surprising Josie, and she pushes off the wall to walk over to her. “I didn’t like watching you flirt with Budget Edgar Allen Poe. Your turn.”

Josie doesn’t know how to respond to that, and she glances away stubbornly, “This isn’t _about_ me.”

Penelope laughs, “I’m just saying, Josie.” She steps closer to Josie, only stopping when she’s merely an inch away from her.

Josie’s stomach dips when green eyes look up to her own, immediately feeling her resolve begin to crumble at simply having Penelope this close. A smirk tugs at Penelope’s lips, like she can see the effect she has on Josie.

Penelope tilts her head, leaning in like she might just kiss her. And if she did, Josie doesn’t know if she’d have it in her to stop it, despite how many times she’s reminded herself just how bad of an idea all of this is. But Penelope stops short of Josie’s lips, just enough to prove her point, “It’s not fair to pretend I don’t get under your skin, too.”

Penelope doesn’t move away, and it’s a true test of Josie’s will, both to not close the distance and to not put a mile between them. She almost pulls her in, leaning closer to Penelope, breaths mingling between them. But this time, her brain wins. “I think we’re blurring the lines too much.”

Something breaks in Penelope, and she steps back, rolling her eyes, “I said that before.” She drawls, “Then you jumped me.”

“You weren’t exactly an unwilling participant.”

Penelope just shrugs, and silence settles over them as they stare at one another. Penelope’s face scrunches up into one of pain eventually, “ _Fuck_.” She hisses, and she finally looks away from Josie, tossing the butt of her cigarette into the ash tray near the bar’s back-entrance. She shakes her hand in pain, but Josie knows irritation on Penelope’s face isn’t just from the fresh burn on her fingers.

She hates the tension between them, filled with frustration and anger. She knows the easy solution would be to give into it. But that just leads them right back to here, in a cycle until something breaks. And that something is likely to be Josie.

“I don’t want to fight with you.” Josie says. “I just… I don’t want to mess things up.”

Penelope looks back over to Josie, annoyed, “You mean you don’t want to mess the lie up.”

“No, I mean _us_.” Josie says, “I don’t care about the lie. If you want, we can stop.”

“Is that what _you_ want?”

“If it’s making things confusing, maybe.”

“Are you confused?”

Josie sighs, “No. I don’t know. Just… I guess you were right. We shouldn’t have slept together.”

“I know.” Penelope juts her chin up, walking back over to Josie, “I don’t regret it, though.” she says firmly, “Do you?”

As much as Josie has tried to tell herself it was a mistake, she doesn’t regret it. If she were to go back to that room, she’d make the same decision again. But she _should_ regret it. She let herself get to a place where Penelope became someone she cared about, someone who she’s scared of losing. And then she put it on the line for one moment of weakness.

She doesn’t answer Penelope, because she doesn’t have it in her to lie to her, or to tell the truth. And instead, Penelope takes the silence as an answer in itself.

“Fine, I’m sorry. You’re right, I was being a dick.” Penelope mutters out, and Josie can see her retreating in on herself, “I guess I just… got confused. It won’t happen again.”

She goes to leave, but Josie catches Penelope’s wrist, “Pen…”

Penelope’s eyes betray the cold expression she wears as she looks back at Josie, and she thinks it might be hurt, that she sees reflected in the green. She hates that she’s the reason for it being there. Penelope just stands, waiting for her to continue.

“I don’t…” Josie wants to say that she’s confused, as well. To tell Penelope she doesn’t regret it and she hasn’t stopped thinking about it since that night. But she can’t manage to get it out. She settles for as much as she _can_ give, hoping it will be enough. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Penelope’s gaze falls to where Josie’s touching her, brow furrowing, “You can’t lose something you don’t have.”

Josie doesn’t think she means for it to hurt her, but it feels like she’s been punched in the gut. Her hold on Penelope’s wrist tightens, and Penelope must see the pain in Josie’s face, as her own expression softens.

“But it’s fine.” Penelope says, releasing a soft sigh, “Nothing has to change.” She pulls away from Josie’s hold, “Everything can just… stay the way you want it.”

If Josie were braver, she might ask Penelope what _she_ wants.

Instead, she lets her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m going to change updates to fortnightly moving forward. Sorry, folks, uni is entering examination period and something’s got to give. I’m going to really try to stick to fortnightly, but if that doesn’t happen please don’t get up in my messages mad about it. While I have a lot written already, it takes time to add all the extra stuff and edit things and I have literally no time atm so hobbies like fic writing are low on the priority list lmao. And honestly angry messages just make me less likely to update at all. 
> 
> Also, I’ve disabled my CC for now, but if you’re one of the people who likes to ask q’s about the fic on there, I’ll try to respond to anything here :) 
> 
> Anyway, next chapter is Lizzie’s bachelorette party – for real this time lmao. Things weren’t flowing and I needed this ch to happen first to make it all kinda fit together. Hopefully this ch was okay! If everything goes to plan, I will see y’all on Oct 20th (Aus time).


	13. UPDATE - not a chapter, sorry

Hi guys,

Sorry but this isn't a chapter update - I just wanted to let y'all know what's going on so you know that I haven't just abandoned this fic. This week my computer died on me and (because I was too dumb to back it up) I lost all my data from the past month. That means I lost basically three chaps of this fic that were practically done and ready. It also means I lost all of my exam prep and two assignments for uni, so because of that I'm going to be spending the next couple of weeks with my head in textbooks 24/7 to make up the time I've lost now. Which means any fic writing is going to be put on the back burner.

I do plan on finishing this fic still, don't worry. But I won't be able to update as regularly as I have been and it's really just going to depend on how much free time I have and whether I even have the energy to write in that free time - it also kinda sucks having to rewrite so much. So if y'all are still interested in reading this fic, it will still be around, please just be patient with me :)

PS. I'll say now - messages yelling at me to update will only just make this feel like a job and when I'm already stressing out about exams, those kinds of comments will just lead to me not writing anything at all. So please don't. 


	14. Chapter 13

Neither Josie nor Penelope bring up their fight in the alleyway. Instead, things go back to their strange version of normal – which mainly consists of flirting and making any excuse to touch, while refusing to ever actually bring up the fact that they’re definitely doing more than necessary to keep up appearances when it comes to their fake relationship. Every single interaction with Penelope lately feels layered; every word or glance or movement feels like just the surface of something so much bigger than either of them planned for. Josie can’t even collect a bar order from Penelope without noticing how her voice softens when she speaks to her or how Penelope’s eyes light up when she catches Josie’s gaze. So, it’s… complicated. In a way feels like they’re both teetering on the edge of something, but neither of them is willing to be the first to step off. Josie knows she can’t keep this up with Penelope and expect it all to go smoothly. For all her preaching about not wanting to lose what they’ve built with one another, there’s the part of her that wants more and refuses to be snuffed out. Eventually, something has to break.

Lizzie’s bachelorette party arrives fast, and Josie follows Penelope’s suggestions. They spend the day at a spa and Josie hosts cocktails and bachelorette games at her apartment afterwards. They’re well on their way to drunken mistakes and in the middle of the third replay of a Spice Girls song when the buzzer to Josie’s apartment sounds, signalling the beginning of the wilder side of the night. Josie’s stomach turns at the sound and – not for the first time – she regrets letting Penelope organize the night’s entertainment. Because while she’s curious to meet the woman that Penelope apparently deemed interesting enough to keep around after they slept together, she also knows that she’s not ready to face the reality of just how jealous it makes her.

Josie lets Lizzie open the door to greet Penelope’s party favor, and Josie’s not exactly sure what she expected of Sasha, but when her eyes fall on the gorgeous blonde standing in her doorway, it’s obvious she didn’t expect anyone nearly as good looking. Because this woman is _stunning_. In the way that Josie’s first thought is that she wants to propose to her, and her second thought is that she wants to throw her off the balcony so that she never speaks to Penelope ever again.

Because really. The fact that Penelope has ever even looked Josie’s way when she’s had Sasha there is… outrageous and – honestly, kind of suspicious. She’s tanned, and tall, and perfectly toned; with fierce features that Josie thinks could make anyone stop dead in their tracks, and crystal blue eyes that almost hold a candle to Penelope’s green.

Sasha’s accompanied by an equally good-looking, muscled brunette man, and the rest of the girls are oblivious to the Maid of Honor’s current meltdown, as they squeal excitedly at the presence of the two strippers.

Sasha doesn’t miss a beat as Lizzie greets her, and she take’s Lizzie’s hand and leads her into the room, where someone has already placed a chair for the bride-to-be to receive a lap dance from what might be an actual goddess in their midst.

Josie spends most of the ordeal ducking behind the other girls and desperately trying to not let herself think of Penelope receiving the same treatment every time Sasha climbs on someone and demonstrates just how ridiculous it is that Penelope has ever looked anyone else’s way.

Josie was already tipsy when the dancers arrived, but after an hour of watching Sasha, she’s very much drunk; it doesn’t help that every single straight woman in the room seems to be ready to risk it all for her, either. When it’s finally over, Josie expects to be able to pay Sasha and send her and her co-worker on their way. But – of course – the girls are all so charmed by the pair that they convince them to stick around for a drink afterwards.

Josie is hiding out on her balcony when Sasha steps outside to join her. She has a packet of cigarettes in her hand, and while that’s something that Josie might have taken as a comforting sign that she’s not so perfect at all, the pathetically jealous voice in her mind just screams about how that’s something she and Penelope have in common.

“Do you mind?” Sasha asks, lifting the pack up in question.

Josie smiles tightly, “It’s fine.” She has to force her gaze to the city lights below just to stop herself from taking in every single flawless feature of Sasha’s face and feeding her growing insecurity.

She hears Sasha light the cigarette, and sees the smoke drift out into the night sky moments later. Josie can feel eyes on her, and she refrains from encouraging that darker, irrational side of her that wants to just tell the woman to delete Penelope’s number from her phone and fuck off.

“If you were planning on killing me tonight, now’s probably your best opportunity.”

Josie’s eyes widen at the teasing remark, and she looks to Sasha, wondering if she’s been reading her mind this entire time or if Josie’s just worn her murderous thoughts on her sleeve, “ _Excuse_ me?”

Sasha is wearing an amused smile that almost reminds Josie of Penelope, “Well, when Penelope called to ask me to do a job for her girlfriend, I figured you either didn’t know our history, or this was a ruse to wipe out one of her exes. If the glare you’ve been sending me all night is anything to go by, I think it’s safe to say you know who I am.” She tilts her head, “So I guess that leaves us with you throwing me off the balcony?”

Amongst all of that, Josie’s tequila-riddled brain fixates on one thing, “You’re her ex?”

“Oh, god no. Figure of speech. I mean, I’m probably the closest to an ex, when it comes to Penelope, but–” Sasha waves the hand that holds her cigarette around dismissively, “We were never serious.”

Josie’s skin prickles with annoyance at the familiarity in her tone, her teeth clenching as she tries to pretend it doesn’t completely bother her to think about the pair of them together. “I didn’t invite you here as a ruse.” She says, instead of taking up Sasha’s offer to send her over the railing.

Sasha’s smile isn’t mean – it might even be kind. But paired with her sharp features, it’s intimidating, all the same. “I’d hope not. If you were going to kill everyone Penelope Park has ever slept with, you’d be busy for the next decade.”

Josie can’t stop the immediate scowl that the remark puts on her face.

“Oh, sorry.” Sasha’s laugh is raspy, and about as attractive as the rest of her. “That’s probably not something you want to hear about your girlfriend.”

Josie’s happy to run with the excuse and– not for the first time– ignores the fact that she has no right to have these very real feelings of jealousy. “It’s fine. I know who I’m dating.”

“Still. There’s knowing that your girlfriend has a… _history_ , and then there’s inviting that history to your apartment.”

“Well, you weren’t coming here to dance for _me_. And Penelope said you were friends.”

“We are.” Sasha shrugs, “But still, good for you. Other people wouldn’t be so confident.”

Josie wants to see the remark as a threat, just so she has an excuse to hate the woman, but the way Sasha says it feels like something else entirely. “So… how long have you known Penelope?”

“A while. We met in class during our freshman year and started partying with the same group of people.”

Josie refrains from rolling her eyes at the fact that apparently, it’s not enough that Sasha looks the way she does – she’s in feminist studies alongside Penelope, too. There’s something else that nags at her, though. A question she’s been asking herself regularly, with how Penelope continues to prove her wrong about every judgment Josie’s made about her in the past. Sasha’s the first person Josie has met who has known Penelope since she came to DC. The only person that can tell Josie whether she really has been wrong about Penelope all this time, or if she’s just delusional in seeing this other side of her.

“Has she ever dated anyone else? Like… seriously.”

“Oh, so _that’s_ why I’m here. You’re digging for info.”

Josie laughs, “That’s not why you’re here. I’m just… curious. She’s never mentioned anyone else.” She knows she’s broaching on territory that she has no right to step into, given that she has no actual claim to Penelope in reality. But she can’t help herself.

“I mean, as far as I know, that’s because there hasn’t been anyone else.”

“Right.” Josie had thought as much, but the confirmation unsettles her. Makes her feel even more foolish for letting herself fall into this… _thing_ with Penelope, when she knew from the beginning what she was dealing with.

“Honestly, though, she’s so private about things that I wouldn’t be surprised if there _are_ others. I literally only found out about the whole heiress thing because Buzzfeed wrote some clickbait story about her family when Crazy Rich Asians came out.” Sasha tilts her head, regarding Josie with a quiet curiosity as she takes a drag from her cigarette. “Unsurprisingly, she kept you a secret from all of us, too.”

Josie shifts uncomfortably, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She knows the statement shouldn’t make her to feel any certain way at all – of course Penelope wouldn’t be telling her friends that she’s in a relationship. She’s _not_ in a relationship. But still, Josie doesn’t have to fake the soft pout she wears. “She has?”

“Don’t take it to heart. She was probably protecting you from us, if anything.” Sasha says, “We all figured Penelope was seeing someone, anyway. It wasn’t hard to put two-and-two together when she stopped hooking up and started ghosting us more often. You’ve been together… what? Since like, January?”

It takes Josie a moment to find her bearings and respond to that – because all she can think about is the insinuation that Penelope stopped seeing other people. And that if Sasha’s assuming they’ve been together since January, Penelope stopped seeing other people well before they even started this fake relationship. Actually, Penelope would have stopped seeing other people around the time that they’d first started sleeping together.

“Um… yeah.” Josie lets out a nervous laugh, “Something like that. We got together at around Christmas, last year.” She says, deciding to roll with their usual lie.

Sasha’s thankfully too preoccupied with the apparently mind-blowing idea of Penelope in a relationship to register Josie’s panic. “So, have you dropped the L word yet?”

Josie blanches, and her immediate response is a sharp, panicked, “ _No_.”

She sees Sasha’s confusion at the firm answer and remembers that she’s supposed to be Penelope’s girlfriend. “I mean – we’re not there yet. I don’t know. Maybe… one day.”

Sasha’s gaze narrows at her, “Huh. I would have thought you’d be there by now.”

“We’ve been taking things slow.”

“Well, if Penelope’s kept you around this long, it must be serious.”

Josie doesn’t really know what to say to that, so she just smiles at her awkwardly, “I should go inside.” She says, desperate for an out, “You know. Maid of Honor duties to tend to.”

Sasha clearly knows Josie’s making an excuse, but she plays along. Although, she only lets Josie reach the door before she calls her attention back to her, “Josie?”

Josie turns to Sasha reluctantly, “Yeah?”

“It’s a big deal for Penelope, to let anyone in. She might not have a history of long-term relationships, but if you matter to her, she’s all in.” Sasha says, “You shouldn’t be afraid of it, you know. Of loving her.”

Josie feels like she’s under a microscope, with the way Sasha’s looking at her, like she’s reading every minute movement Josie makes. She doesn’t have a response for Sasha. And doesn’t like how even though Sasha’s talking about a completely fake relationship built on a bunch of lies, it feels like Josie really is being scrutinized right now. Josie just nods, sending her a weak smile before darting back into the apartment, determined to get as far away from Sasha as she can.

After that, it’s not long before Sasha and her co-worker leave, and Josie feels a weight lift from her shoulders the moment she’s no longer under the woman’s cold blue stare.

She falls down on the couch next to Lizzie, letting out a heavy sigh.

“What were you and the stripper talking about?” Lizzie asks, the question half-muffled into her glass.

“Penelope.” Josie sees Lizzie frown, “They know each other. Penelope organized the dancers for you.”

“ _Well,_ remind me to thank Penelope.” Lizzie grins over at Josie, giggling, “So how long ago did they sleep together?”

Josie scowls, crossing her arms over her chest, “Can we please talk about _anything_ else?”

* * *

The night goes off without a hitch. After they leave Josie’s apartment, they go dancing, and Josie manages to forget about her jealousy for a few hours and enjoy celebrating with her sister. They’ve spent a large part of the night playing a game of bridal bingo, and when they’re moving into the early hours of the morning, it’s Lizzie who suggests they stop by Josie’s bar so that Josie can complete a certain task that she’s uniquely qualified for.

Penelope doesn’t notice when they walk into the bar, caught up in conversation with a customer while she fixes them a drink. Josie doesn’t check herself like she usually would when her stomach immediately flips at the sight of her, and in her drunken state, she practically prances her way over to the bar.

She winds her way through customers until she reaches the side of the bar nearest to where Penelope stands, waiting for Penelope to finish with her customer before leaning over the bar towards her. “Miss me?”

Green eyes look up to meet Josie’s, and Penelope’s smile immediately widens, and Josie’s stomach does another few hundred somersaults. “Of course. Your replacement can barely carry a drinks tray.” She drawls, “I thought you were sticking to clubs tonight.”

Josie pouts at her playfully, “You didn’t want to see me?”

“I never said that. How much have you had to drink?”

“Why? Are you cutting me off?”

Penelope’s eye narrow playfully at her, and Josie feels particularly proud at being the one to amuse her, “You’re not brunch-drunk Josie just yet.”

“In that case, I’ll have a cosmo, please.” Josie beams at her, “And one for Lizzie too.”

As though her ears were burning, Lizzie appears next to Josie at the bar moments later, her gaze immediately finding Penelope. “ _You_ are officially my favorite of Josie’s long list of terrible partners.” She declares.

Penelope arches a brow as she begins their cocktails, “I’m still terrible, though.”

Lizzie waves her hand dismissively, “Fine. You’re the _one_ not-terrible partner that she’s had so far. Keep it up and I might let you marry her.”

“ _Lizzie_.” Josie hisses out.

Lizzie ignores her, “Tell me, was that goddess of a stripper good in bed?”

“ _Lizzie!_ ”

Penelope laughs, “Did Josie ask you to ask me that?”

“No, this is simply the selfish curiosity of a woman who found her soulmate at 16 and wants to know what she’s missed out on.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Ugh, you’re boring.” Lizzie rolls her eyes, and then she looks to Josie expectantly, “Well? _Go on_.” She gestures to Penelope.

Josie frowns at her, and then she remembers the bingo card sitting in her bag, “We just walked into the bar.”

“She’s your girlfriend. I think you’re past the point of being coy, Josie.”

Penelope looks between them, “Do I even want to know?”

“You need to kiss your girlfriend.” Lizzie says, and Penelope’s eyebrows rise even higher, “It’s for the competition.”

“It’s a _game_ , not a competition.” Josie rolls her eyes.

“Same thing.”

“And what does kissing have to do with it?” Penelope asks.

Lizzie reaches for Josie’s bag, rummaging through it and proceeding to plant the bingo card down on the bar. “Bridal bingo.” She announces, “ _Josie_ and I are on the same team and she’s not pulling her weight.”

“… and?”

“ _And_ we could win this thing, with your help.” Lizzie’s hand falls over the card, her finger pointing to one of the boxes on the bingo card that reads ‘ _kiss a bartender’_. “You’re particularly qualified for the job.” 

Penelope laughs, “I’m also working.”

“So? We’re paying customers, and Josie is ordering a kiss.”

“Unfortunately, you’ll have to settle for cosmos.” Penelope says.

Lizzie glares at her, while Josie watches Penelope in general delighted drunkenness as she pauses to shake their cocktails.

“Don’t underestimate me, Penelope Park.” Lizzie says once Penelope is finished, “I _will_ find another bartender to kiss Josie, if I have to. I was just trying to be nice by giving you the option first.”

Penelope actually scowls at that, and Josie lets herself believe it’s not just part of the act.

“Now kiss her.” Lizzie demands, and Penelope’s scowl deepens.

Josie pokes Lizzie, “She has a thing about people telling her to do stuff.” She mumbles out in warning.

Predictably, Penelope answers that with a childish, “No I don’t.”

Josie grins, resting her chin in her hands and looking at Penelope teasingly as the bartender pours their drinks, “Fine. Kiss me.”

There’s only so far she can take the fake dating excuse to act like this with Penelope. Even in her drunken state, Josie knows she’s stepping on dangerous ground by being so brazen, considering she’s the hypocrite that had been in the alleyway telling Penelope they needed to cool off. But that’s the thing with Penelope: no matter how many times Josie tries to talk some sense into herself, she just falls right back into this flirtation between them. And she’s getting less and less interested in resisting it.

Penelope actually looks like she’s considering it – and Josie is getting hopeful when another patron decides to ruin her fun and demand Penelope’s attention. Penelope nods to the customer and pushes Josie and Lizzie’s drinks over to them on the bar. “On the house.” She says, and with a playful wink at Josie she leaves them be.

Lizzie snorts, swiping up her glass, “Maybe if you told her _not_ to kiss you, she’d do it.”

And maybe it’s how drunk Josie is, or maybe it’s because she’s really just that pathetic when it comes to Penelope – but she’s not completely opposed to trying out such a ruse.

* * *

It becomes apparent very quickly that the bar will be their final stop for the night. They go between mingling with other bar patrons and dancing along to the band that plays, enjoying cheap drinks on Penelope’s behalf, and Josie watches as every girl in the bachelorette party grows closer to her limit.

Most of them are sitting at a table now, and while the rest of the group chatters away over one another, Josie sits at Lizzie’s side and watches Penelope working behind the bar. Every now and then she looks over to Josie, wearing an amused smile when their eyes meet, and Josie pretends she hasn’t been staring the entire time. Josie’s much too drunk at this point to bother ignoring the light feeling she gets whenever Penelope looks at her, and she allows herself to pretend, for a moment, that she has any business enjoying it.

“You know, she’s like… _smart_? And funny. And _interesting_.” Josie says to Lizzie, head hanging in her hands, “I didn’t know that. I used to think she was just a lazy stoner put on this earth to annoy me.”

Lizzie laughs, “You’re preaching to the choir. I hated Hope for most of our childhood. Life’s weird that way.”

“I guess.” Josie mumbles, and that would usually be the end of it. But in her drunken state, she’s not quite ready to stop talking about the bartender. “It’s just– it’s so _different._ Like– she knows _so much_ about me, Lizzie.”

“Well, duh. She’s your girlfriend.”

“No– I mean– it’s _different_.” Josie tries to stress, “She picks up on things and she just _gets_ me and I literally hate it but it’s also… nice. Like… I want to be around her. All. The. Time.” Even with all the alcohol in her system, Josie knows she’s rambling. At least Lizzie thinks Penelope and Josie are dating, so she expects this kind of thing.

“You _love_ her.” Lizzie teases, bumping Josie’s shoulder as she sways in her seat.

“What?” Josie balks, “No I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t.”

Lizzie laughs, “You look at her like _I_ look at Hope.” she hiccups, “You know, we could still have that twin wedding we talked about when we were kids. Actually– no. Don’t steal my wedding. But still: you’re in _love.”_

Josie’s heart just about leaps to her throat when Penelope chooses that moment to announce her arrival with a tray of drinks her hand, and her body immediately reacts to the woman’s proximity. She’s standing behind Josie, leaning over her as she places the tray down, and when Josie turns her head, she catches Penelope’s eye, thankful to not find any sign of her having heard Lizzie.

“You trained her well.” Lizzie remarks as she swipes up one of the glasses, but Josie barely registers the remark.

Penelope is leaning over her still, one hand on the back of Josie’s chair and the other on table, effectively caging her in. “Hi.”

Josie manages to break out of her daze, grinning widely up at Penelope, “ _Hi_.”

“How’s bingo going?”

Josie bats her eyelashes up at Penelope, “We’re still not winning.”

“I suppose you still want that kiss, then.”

Josie’s smile widens, “Are you offering?”

Penelope rolls her eyes dramatically, and then she leans in, and Josie can feel her smile against her lips when she kisses her. It’s fleeting – a soft press of her lips that Josie melts into. But it lingers long enough to have Josie forget herself. Josie tries to chase her lips when it’s over, and she’s lucky enough to receive one, quick peck from her before Penelope pulls away completely.

Lizzie and the other girls let out a few catcalls in response that might embarrass Josie, if she weren’t caught up in trying to figure out how to get Penelope to kiss her again. Josie finds Lizzie watching her when she does eventually come back to Earth and Penelope is heading back to the bar, and her sister looks smug as ever.

“I told you.” Lizzie coos, “In love.”

* * *

Later, when they’re plenty more drinks in and the night has long since started winding down, Josie says her goodbyes to Lizzie– who makes an escape to break the ‘no fiancés’ rule and go home to Hope.

Josie had expected as much, despite them agreeing that they would spend the night together. With enough alcohol in her system and her impending nuptials being the topic of the night, Josie had no doubt that Lizzie would end up finding her way to Hope. It’s just convenient that now, Josie gets to spend the rest of the night with Penelope.

She perches herself down on a stool at the bar, and Josie gets a slight kick out of it when Penelope abandons her conversation with a group of customers to make her way over to Josie. This time, she slides a glass of water over for Josie that Josie accepts eagerly.

“Your party’s leaving without you.”

Josie shrugs, taking a generous gulp of water, “Lizzie’s gonna sneak off to see Hope, so…”

“You all partied out, huh?”

“Something like that.”

Penelope looks at her with an unreadable expression, and then she laughs, “Alright. I’ll get MG to close and take you home.”

Josie grins, “Really?”

“Don’t act surprised; I know what you were fishing for.” Penelope teases her, “Give me 15 minutes and we’ll go. Drink that water while I’m gone.”

Josie does a small victory dance in her seat and obediently swipes up the glass, turning her attention to her fellow patrons while she waits for Penelope to finish up. Josie’s in the middle of befriending a lovely older guy that – now that Josie thinks about it, probably doesn’t have the best intentions – when Penelope comes out from behind the bar and takes Josie’s hand in her own, dragging her away from her new friend and towards the exit.

Josie stumbles along behind Penelope, letting out a contented sigh when she’s greeted with the cool night air on her face. She doesn’t realize she’s closed her eyes until she opens them and finds Penelope sending her an amused look.

“You’re going to feel like shit tomorrow.”

“That’s not nice.” Josie pouts childishly at her, “Will you take care of me?”

“I’ll think about it.” Penelope reaches into her jacket pocket, pulling out that familiar packet, but when she tries to release Josie’s hand so she can retrieve a cigarette, Josie simply tightens her grip. Penelope pauses, frowning at Josie and pulling her hand closer to her, only for Josie’s hand to come along for the ride. “ _Really_?”

Josie giggles, refusing to let go of the limb despite Penelope’s attempts to shake her off. “You shouldn’t smoke, you know.”

“I’d roll my eyes at that, if I wasn’t so surprised that it’s taken you this long to make an anti-smoking comment to me.” Penelope drawls.

Josie sticks her tongue out at her, “Well I’ve decided I don’t want you to die.”

“How charming.” she tries to pull her hand free from Josie’s yet again to no avail, “Josie, I just spent hours serving drunken idiots. If I’m ever gonna quit smoking, it’s not going to be now.”

“Fine. I’m not letting go, though.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Penelope stares at Josie and clearly finds nothing but stubborn conviction looking back. Eventually, she just rolls her eyes and lifts the pack to Josie, who takes a moment before she accepts defeat and reaches her own spare hand out to pluck a cigarette from the pack for Penelope.

“You’re literally a kid.” Penelope says, pocketing the pack before swiping the cigarette back from Josie. She places it between her lips before locating her lighter, and Josie watches with drunken fascination as she lights it, enjoying the way the smoke drifts out from between pretty pink lips moments later. And it’s really a disgusting habit, but–

“You’re so hot.” Josie eyes widen the moment the thought is mumbled out dumbly without her permission.

Penelope, to her credit, doesn’t tease her for it. Just laughs, shaking her head in disbelief, and starts tapping away on her phone. “Okay, let’s get you home before I have to carry you there.”

“I don’t have my keys.” The lie falls from Josie easily, having devised the perfect tequila-fuelled plan to get to spend the rest of the night with Penelope.

“That sounds like a lie.”

“Nope. I gave them to Lizzie.”

Penelope lets out an exasperated laugh, “Why are you lying to me right now?”

“I’m not lying.”

“Uh huh. And why do you sound so happy about that?”

Josie shrugs, batting her eyelids at Penelope in her best attempt at innocence as she steps closer, “Because that means I get to go to your place instead?”

Penelope falters for a moment, gaze dropping to Josie’s lips, but then she’s rolling her eyes again, “And what do you think is going to happen if you come back to mine?”

Josie swings their hands between their bodies, feigning nonchalance, “Well… kissing is nice.” She pouts at the laugh Penelope immediately lets out in response. “What’s funny?”

“Well, firstly, you’re drunk. And secondly, you’re the one who said we shouldn’t ‘blur the line’ between us. I’m pretty certain that means no kissing.”

Josie whines “But that was _sober_ Josie. Don’t you like kissing?”

“Is that really a question?” Penelope smirks, “You’re the one who made the rules.”

“Well, the rules are stupid. We should change them.”

“Oksy. I’ll make sure to ask you about it in the morning.”

“ _No_ , we should change it _now_.” Josie leans in, lips ghosting Penelope’s, “Don’t you want to kiss me?”

Penelope pauses, and the way her brow furrows is firmer than before, her mood shifting, “Fine. You can come back to mine.” She mutters out, and Josie doesn’t notice Penelope’s hand on her stomach until she’s being pushed lightly back a step, “But no kissing, and no… anything.”

“What about cuddling?”

“We’re not sharing the same bed.”

“But I want to cuddle.”

Penelope narrows her eyes at Josie in warning, “Do you want to come to mine or not?”

Josie manages to find enough sense to shut up this time, deciding to take her small victory and nodding eagerly, “No cuddling. I promise.”

Their Uber arrives a few minutes later, and Josie’s beginning to enter a more lethargic state of drunkenness by the time they get to Penelope’s apartment. She barely even registers Penelope coaxing her out of the car and pulling her up a stairwell, and then she’s falling back onto a soft mattress.

Josie stares up at the ceiling, and when she hears Penelope laugh softly, she sits up to look at her, “What?”

Penelope’s pocketing her phone, an amused smile on her lips, “Sasha’s decided she likes you.”

Josie’s own smile weakens at the memory of the gorgeous blonde, and she falls back onto the bed in a dramatic huff, “ _Sasha._ ” She grumbles, “Sasha’s pretty.”

The bed dips from the added weight as Penelope sits down beside Josie, and she laughs, “She is.”

“Prettier than I expected.” Josie sends a glare Penelope’s way, “You didn’t say she was that pretty.”

Penelope laughs again, and she moves to lie down on her side next to Josie, propped up on her elbow. Josie’s cheeks flush at the fond way she looks at her. “Was I supposed to warn you?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Why?”

“ _Because_.” Josie waves her hands arounds nonsensically, “You guys have a ‘history’, or whatever. And she’s pretty, and nice, and _sexy_ and smart and– why aren’t you with her?”

Penelope scoffs, “Do you want me to be with her?”

“No. I just don’t get why you wouldn’t be. Why’re you spending all this time around _me_ when you could be with someone like _that_?”

“Because I like spending time with you.” Penelope reaches her hand over to tuck Josie’s hair behind her ear, and Josie’s head lolls to the side to look at her. “You’re all of those things too, you know.”

Josie’s almost so distracted by the way that Penelope’s knuckles brush across her cheek that she forgets to respond. “Not like that, though. Not like her.”

Penelope shrugs, “Maybe that’s a good thing.”

“ _How_?”

“I never felt any kind of way with her.”

Josie’s brow furrows at the response, and she hates that she’s so far from sober, because she can’t manage to grasp the part of that answer that matters

Penelope’s expression brightens then, a sly smile on her lips, “I mean, you were also better in bed.”

Josie gasps loudly, sitting up in shock, “ _Really_?”

“Mmhmm.” Penelope laughs, “And you know why I’m telling you that?”

“Why?”

“Because you won’t remember I said it in the morning.”

Josie’s mouth falls open, “That’s not fair!”

“Who said anything about being fair?”

“You have to tell me tomorrow.”

“No, I don’t.” Penelope grins, getting up off the bed and leaving Josie pouting at her retreating form.

Josie falls back to the bed heavily, “You’re mean.” She declares as she hears Penelope rummaging through her dresser.

“I’m _so_ mean that I’m taking care of you, right?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

“Here you go.”

Josie opens her eyes, tilting her head to look at where Penelope is holding out clothes for her. She huffs, her head dropping back to the mattress, “Can’t.” she mumbles, “Room’s spinning.”

She hears Penelope let out a soft, tired sigh, and Josie’s jolted awake by the feel of a hand brushing over her calf, down to her ankle. She sits up slightly to lean back on her elbows so she can peer down at Penelope, who is crouched on the floor and working on the straps of one of Josie’s shoes. Josie’s mouth goes dry as certain memories flood into her mind of the last time Penelope undressed her.

“Lizzie said something weird tonight.” Josie mutters out as she watches Penelope, unsure why her brain has now jumped to _that_ memory. “She thinks I’m in love with you.”

Penelope’s eyes snap up to Josie’s, her mouth falling open.

“That’s stupid, right?” Josie frowns, surprised at how the idea doesn’t really sound so stupid to her at all. At least, not as much as it should, for someone who isn’t actually dating Penelope.

“Well… you wanted her to believe we’re together.” Penelope turns her attention back to Josie’s shoes, pulling the first free.

“Yeah, but… I don’t know. I wasn’t even…” Josie pauses, somehow managing to remember her filter despite how much the tequila in her system is fighting her to forget it. “I don’t know.”

“Is it really that weird?” there’s a bite to Penelope’s voice that Josie might pay more attention to if she were sober.

“What?”

“You and I.” Penelope pulls Josie’s other shoe off her foot, but the hand at Josie’s calf remains there for a few seconds longer. “Is it really that hard to imagine us together?”

Josie doesn’t really know what to say to that. She just stares at Penelope, her stomach flipping at the intensity in the green eyes looking back at her.

Frustration crosses Penelope’s features, and her hand drops from Josie’s calf, “Sorry. Don’t answer that.” She says, “I shouldn’t have asked when you’re this drunk.”

Josie watches quietly as Penelope rises to her feet.

“I’ll get you a water.” Penelope won’t look at her, “You’re okay to get your dress off?”

Josie nods, and when Penelope leaves, she forces herself up from the bed. She’s changed into the oversized shirt left for her when Penelope returns with a glass of water in hand. Josie sits on the edge of the bed, watching as Penelope places the glass on the side-table without sparing Josie a glance. Penelope doesn’t say anything else past a quiet ‘ _goodnight_ ’ before she goes to leave again, but Josie calls out to her before she can make a complete escape.

“It’s not.” Josie says, making Penelope pause in the doorway and turn back to her with a soft frown. Josie swallows, hating that she’s too drunk to feel like she can even get any kind of point across to Penelope right now without sounding like some slurring idiot. “It’s… easy.” Josie lets out a frustrated breath, “I can imagine it. _Us_.”

Penelope stands there watching her, looking like she’s not quite sure if she believes Josie, or if maybe she’s scared to believe her. But a soft smile traces her lips soon after – a smile that makes Josie’s entire body feel warm and carries a certain hope that Josie is beginning to feel herself.

Penelope looks like she’s going to say something, but instead she refrains, and settles on a quiet, “Good night, Josie.”

Josie falls asleep to thoughts of Penelope that night. And for the first time, she’s not scared of what that might mean. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for being patient with this fic while I’ve been going Through It. Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait! Again, I don’t know when the next update will be, but I’ll try my best to do what I can. In the mean time, let me know what you thought of this update :)


	15. Chapter 14

When Josie wakes in the morning, it’s to a piercing headache and an unknown room. Her mouth feels furry and she can smell the alcohol seeping from her skin, and Josie lets out a pained groan as she rolls over onto her side to peer at the bedside table. There’s a glass of water sitting there that Josie can’t remember retrieving, and Josie frowns at it for a few moments as she attempts to place herself. She throws the comforter off her body, and her stomach settles slightly at the clothes that – while they don’t belong to her – are at least on her body.

On that, Josie decides to trust whatever stranger the room belongs to, and she wrestles herself into a seating position before greedily guzzling down the water left for her. Josie tries to think of the night before, but after the second club visit, the memories are only available to her in fragments. Although, she knows enough to know there’s something to be embarrassed of, somewhere in the forgotten activities of Lizzie’s bachelorette party. Josie remembers going to her bar with the intention of seeing Penelope, and she has vague memories of seeing Penelope here and there. Josie glances back over to the side table and realizes now that it’s Penelope’s preferred brand of cigarettes that sits on-top of it, and she lets out a sigh of relief, concern for her whereabouts now turning into curiosity from getting her first glimpse at Penelope’s apartment – and maybe slight disappointment, at the fact that she still woke up alone.

A metal staircase spirals up from the floor and Josie realizes the space is a loft, as she spots the bannisters over to the side and the glimpse of a living area downstairs. Josie’s not sure what she expected of Penelope’s apartment, but it makes sense that this is it, somehow. It’s slightly messy, but in a way that seems to add to the room’s general character – like Penelope’s own aesthetic, a somewhat ruffled version of what was once probably a very orderly and tidy space. Succulents sit on a large windowsill, of which Penelope’s desk sits in front of, and despite the draws and organizers, the desk is littered with pens and paper and odd items probably haphazardly pulled from Penelope’s pockets on her way out. There is a considerably stacked bookshelf tucked away in the corner that, if Josie weren’t so hungover, she would usually laud over. 

Josie’s considering snooping when she hears a sound downstairs, and her cheeks heat up at the realization that she’s going to have to face Penelope any moment now, after what she’s sure was a pathetic drunken spectacle last night. She finishes her glass of water before she decides to brave the outside world, forcing herself out of the bed. Josie checks herself in the long mirror that sits next Penelope’s closet and pouts at her reflection, the make-up from last night now smudged across her face and her hair a tangled mess from slept-in hairspray. Josie manages to get her eyes looking less panda-like and runs her fingers through her hair before she gives up and accepts her fate, making her way down the staircase.

Penelope is sat at her kitchen counter, a coffee in hand and leaning over a book, and despite how generally shit Josie feels, her stomach flips at the sight of her so domesticated. Penelope glances up when the staircase creaks beneath Josie’s feet, and a mixture of sympathy and amusement crosses her features when her gaze finds Josie.

“Morning, Sunshine.”

Josie clomps her way down the remaining steps, misery returning to her, “I don’t really remember how I got here, but whatever I did to get here, I am _so_ sorry.”

Penelope laughs, and as she gets up from her stool, she pulls one out for Josie, “Apparently, you lost your keys.” She says, as she walks to the other side of the counter.

Josie perches herself down on the stool, frowning, “Did I?”

“That’s still up for debate.”

Josie rests her head in her hands, eyes following Penelope as she moves over to the coffee maker, filling up a mug, “I must have left them at my apartment.” She mutters.

Penelope shrugs, turning back to Josie with an amused smile and placing the mug of coffee in front of her, “ _That_ , or you just can’t get enough of my company.”

Josie would like to think that Penelope’s just teasing, but from what little pieces she can remember about her actions last night, something tells her that Penelope’s version of events is closer to the truth. “So how much did I embarrass myself?”

“A suitable amount for a Maid of Honor at a bachelorette party.”

“That doesn’t sound comforting.” Josie takes a considerable mouthful of coffee, saying a silent prayer to the warm mug in her hands to cure her pounding headache.

“Well, Lizzie seemed to have a good time. So, mission accomplished.”

Josie sighs, nodding, “Yeah, I think she was happy. Getting the dancers was definitely a good idea, so… thanks.”

Penelope grins, “She liked Sasha, huh?”

“Hm.” Josie takes a sip of her coffee, finding it hard to muster the energy to fake nonchalance. She places the mug back on the counter, watching the coffee rock against the rim. “She’s pretty.”

“Yeah.” Penelope laughs, “You mentioned that last night about a hundred times.”

“Well… _yeah_. She’s literally stunning, Penelope. And nice.”

“So?”

“So… I don’t know. It’s just… interesting.” Josie looks up to meet Penelope’s amused stare, and she frowns, “We’ve had this conversation, haven’t we?”

“Kind of.”

“Oh.” Josie blushes, unsure whether she wants to know how the conversation went the first time. “Well… she said some interesting things about you.”

“She did?”

Josie taps her fingers against her coffee mug, putting on her best impression of someone who doesn’t care much about what she says next. “She said you haven’t been with anyone since January.”

Josie feels a little better at the way Penelope stiffens at the remark, happy to not be the only one in the room feeling out of her depth. She watches Penelope’s expression closely, noting the soft furrow to her brow and the tick of her jaw. She schools her features a second later and shrugs, resting back against the kitchen counter, “I’ve been with you.”

“Well, yeah. But just me.”

“Was I supposed to be sleeping with other people?”

“No. I just… didn’t know you weren’t.” Josie says, “I mean– you always flirt with customers. I’d just assumed…”

Penelope laughs, crossing her arms in front of herself. “I flirt with customers because it makes them feel special and it gets me better tips.” 

“But why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you _what_?”

“That you were only seeing me.” Josie huffs, frustrated, “That’s kind of important.”

“How? You’d made your mind up about me. Would knowing that have changed anything?”

Josie deflates, knowing the answer to that already. But while it wouldn’t have mattered back then, it feels like it does _now_. “I didn’t know you back then.”

“Exactly. So, now you know. ”

Josie nods, unsure where exactly knowing it now takes them. “Well… I haven’t, either.” She says, less because she feels like she owes it to Penelope to even the playing field; more because she just _wants_ her to know. “It’s just been you. Since before Christmas.”

She looks up in time to see the small smile that tugs at Penelope’s lips and the light crinkle of her eyes before she returns to that usual stoic façade. “Okay.”

Josie nods, and she lets out a soft laugh, “ _Okay_.”

As they fall silent, the information shared between them fills up the room. Josie might be intimidated under Penelope’s probing gaze, but she finds herself happy to match it with her own, noting that the apprehensive curiosity she usually feels looking into those green eyes now feels a lot more like excitement.

“ _Now_ ,” Penelope starts after a while, a care-free smile back on her lips. “If you think you can stomach it, how does breakfast sound?”

* * *

Josie doesn’t make any move to leave Penelope’s apartment after breakfast, and Penelope does nothing to send her on her way. Instead, Josie lingers, and she finds herself spending the day watching Netflix on Penelope’s couch while Penelope sits on the other end working on an assignment. They trade idle conversation here and there; Penelope will ask for Josie’s opinion when she’s stuck on something, or Josie will simply distract Penelope with banter.

It’s late in the afternoon when Josie does finally leave Penelope’s, deciding she should probably live up to her sisterly duties and check in on Lizzie. Josie lets herself into Lizzie and Hope’s apartment, and when she walks inside, she finds Lizzie camped out on the couch looking sorry for herself while a reality show plays on the TV. When her eyes find the pizza box in Josie’s hands, she lets out a dramatic groan of delight. “ _Ugh_ , you read my mind.”

“Twintuition.” Josie perches herself down next to Lizzie on the couch, placing the pizza on the coffee table and laughing as Lizzie immediately retrieves herself a slice, “Where’s Hope?”

“Freya and Keelin are in town with the kids.” Lizzie says over a mouthful of pizza, “I should be there, but I don’t think I’d survive baby Freelins with this hangover.”

“Hope probably expected you to be out of commission anyway.”

“Oh, yeah. Plus, she’ll be in Aunt mode.” Lizzie beams, “She’s gonna be Super Mom one day.”

The way Lizzie practically glows at the thought of her and Hope’s future together makes Josie’s own heart warm, and her mind immediately strays to Penelope.

Lizzie eyes Josie suspiciously, “Why’re you so perky? You drank as much as me.”

“I’m not perky.”

“Yes you are. You’re fucking radiant and I look like an actual troll.”

“I’ve had a good day.” Josie shrugs, “Despite the hangover.”

“… uh huh. So basically, you got laid.”

Josie laughs, shaking her head, “ _No_. We just hung out.”

“How quaint.”

Josie sends Lizzie playful glare, settling back on the couch and turning her attention to the show onscreen while Lizzie works her way through the pizza happily. Her mind finds its way back to Penelope soon enough – something Josie’s beginning to stop being surprised by. She thinks about how easy it was today, just existing in one another’s space. How simply being around Penelope makes mundane activities feel like more.

“What do you think about Penelope?”

Lizzie frowns, turning more fully towards Josie on the couch, “I like her. You know that.”

“Well, yeah, but I mean… what do you think about her for _me_?”

“I thought it didn’t matter what I think.”

“Just… entertain me.”

Lizzie runs a hand through her hair, shrugging nonchalantly, “I think you guys are good together. Don’t you?”

Josie’s cautious in her response – unsure exactly how to have the conversation she wants to have without revealing to Lizzie that she and Penelope aren’t actually together. “I mean… _yes_. I like being around her. A lot. I’m… different, with her. Better, I think.”

“Better?”

“Yeah. Like… I don’t know. With other people I’ve dated I’ve always felt like I have to hold back certain parts of myself. But with Penelope, that was never even an option. It just feels… easier, I guess.”

Lizzie’s grinning at Josie, arching a brow, “Okay? I can’t really see what the problem is.”

“There’s no real ‘problem’.” Josie says, “She’s just… when I used to think about the person I’d end up with, it wasn’t someone like Penelope.”

“You think I thought I’d end up with an antisocial artist with the weight of the world on her shoulders?” Lizzie laughs, “People aren’t checklists, Josie. If I’d stuck to my idea of my perfect person, I wouldn’t be with Hope. Who actually _is_ my perfect person.”

“But what if it didn’t work out? Didn’t that scare you?”

“Of course. But that’s kind of the point. Yeah, the idea of getting my heart broken sucked, but if I hadn’t taken that risk I wouldn’t be here now, ready to marry the love of my life. You can’t tailor your experiences around not getting hurt.” Lizzie huffs, sinking down on the couch, “Why are we even talking about this? Last night you couldn’t shut up about how much you love her. I think you’ve passed the point of no return.”

“I didn’t say that I love her. _You_ said that.”

“Was I wrong?”

Josie settles on silence as an answer to that, and she could say it’s to uphold the lie she’s been spinning, but she can’t ignore how denying it outright just feels like almost a lie in itself.

Lizzie sighs dramatically, “She’s the first person I’ve seen you genuinely happy with, Jo. Quit trying to find a reason for it to fail.”

* * *

Despite the state of Josie and Penelope’s relationship lately, after her day spent in Penelope’s apartment, Josie had naively thought that things might return to the road they’d been on before Mystic Falls. Where, for all their lack of communication, they’d both begun to accept the fact that they liked being around one another and stopped needing excuses to reason such.

Josie had _hoped_ it would just happen. That she could spend some more time enjoying Penelope’s presence and exploring just what they are to each other outside of this tired lie between them. But of course, that hadn’t happened, and thanks to a lack of wedding-related events, Josie has only seen Penelope at work over the past few weeks.

But she’d be lying if she said _nothing_ changed. It just instead of Josie spending time with Penelope, Penelope has been spending time with Hope. At some point, Penelope and Hope have rekindled their friendship, and Josie has spent the past three weeks miserably watching as the pair grow closer and closer.

And it’s not that Josie’s jealous – Hope’s marrying her _sister_ , obviously. It’s just a part of her feels… left out. Sure, she sees Penelope most nights thanks to work anyway. But watching Hope and Penelope frolic around the city together unsettles Josie.

So much so, that she finds herself _creating_ a reason for them to be back in the lie.

When Josie had proposed a double date, Lizzie’s eyes had lit up and she’d immediately set the ball in motion. Of course, she doesn’t tell Penelope it was _her_ idea. She just feigns annoyance during a shift and poses the whole thing as Lizzie’s suggestion. If Penelope knows Josie’s lying, she doesn’t let on; she just shrugs and agrees to the whole thing without any argument.

(And like, really, what’s even up with that?)

Penelope meets Josie beforehand and they walk from her apartment to the restaurant together, and Josie’s still thinking this was a great idea up until when they actually arrive and she’s no longer the sole focus of Penelope’s attention. The regret starts to settle in when they’re halfway through the main course and Penelope and Hope are sharing what might be the thousandth reminiscent story together, filled with cute cut-ins, inside jokes and finishing off one another’s sentences.

Josie keeps looking to Lizzie, hoping to find some validation in her annoyance, but Lizzie just looks entertained, completely unbothered by the fact that her fiancé might be seconds away from mounting Penelope right here in the restaurant.

She doesn’t know _why_ she thought this was a good idea, anyway. At least before now, she just knew about Hope and Penelope’s friendship as an _idea_. Tonight, she’s witnessing just how much closer they actually have grown, and there’s an unshakeable bitterness to the fact that really, it should have been Josie instead.

After dinner, they go out to a club. And with Penelope looking the way she does tonight – dressed in tight black jeans and a black top that bears her midriff – Josie’s attention would usually be on making up any excuse to get close to her. But instead, she drives herself mad overthinking every single moment of contact between Penelope and Hope.

Currently, Josie stands at a table with Lizzie, watching Penelope as she waits at the bar with Hope, apparently too focused on whatever _amazing_ conversation they’re having to actually focus on getting the bartender’s attention.

“It doesn’t bother you?” Josie asks Lizzie.

Lizzie is oblivious, having to follow Josie’s gaze, “What?”

“Hope and Penelope. They’re really… close.”

“Why would that bother me?”

“I don’t know.” Josie grumbles childishly, “They’ve just been spending so much time together lately.”

Lizzie’s laugh is so loud that Hope and Penelope’s heads turn to look back at them, and Josie’s stomach dips at the smile Penelope sends her when their eyes meet. “Wait, are you jealous right now?”

Josie pulls her gaze from Penelope, “No. I just think it’s weird.”

“They’re friends, Jo. Honestly, I’m kind of happy that Hope has some who’s just hers.”

“But she’s not hers.” The bitter comment falls from her lips without Josie thinking, and the look Lizzie sends her in return makes Josie feel insanely immature.

“Calm down, you know I didn’t mean it in that way.” Lizzie says, “I can’t believe you’re jealous that my _fiancé_ is getting close to your girlfriend. Do you know how insane that is?”

“I told you, I’m not jealous.”

“Right. You just think it’s ‘ _weird_ ’.” Lizzie mimics Josie’s voice and puts on a pout that Josie is sure is supposed to be mocking her. “Has Penelope cheated on you or something? Why’re you this insecure?”

“I’m not–” Josie huffs, “They’ve just been spending a lot of time together, okay?”

“I thought you were better at sharing.”

Josie has to stop herself from stomping her foot and asking _why_ she needs to share Penelope at all, but she still has the sense to recognize doing so would be completely ridiculous. Still, knowing that doesn’t make her want to whisk Penelope as far away from Hope as possible any less.

She doesn’t say anything else on the topic, as Penelope and Hope finally start their return from the bar with their drinks. For as much as Penelope drinks, it’s rare to see alcohol taking its toll on her. Tonight, however, the tequila is apparently winning the battle, and she’s wearing a soft drunken smile as she sidles up to Josie. Her hand slides around Josie’s waist as she hands Josie her drink, and she squeezes Josie’s side in greeting.

“Miss us?” Hope teases, leaning up to kiss Lizzie’s cheek as she presses her drink into her hand.

“Of course.” Lizzie beams, “We were just talking about how much time you guys have been spending together.”

Josie’s eyes widen, and she gapes at her sister, but Hope just laughs, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Josie thinks you’re stealing Penelope from her.”

Josie’s jaw drops even further, and the only thing that she manages to get out is some indignant spluttering as Penelope arches a brow and sends her a confused look.

Hope is simply amused, “Well, I _did_ see her first.”

“You also let her go.” Josie’s eyes widen when she says it, and Hope frowns at the sharp comment. “Um – sorry. I didn’t mean… that was dumb.”

Hope looks perplexed as she lets out a soft, awkward laugh, “It’s fine.” She says, although it sounds more like a question.

“Someone fed Josie rum and now she’s getting bitey.” Lizzie says, sending Josie a look of warning.

Josie goes along with the excuse, nodding weakly, and Penelope reaches to grab her hand. “Nothing a dance can’t solve.” She says smoothly, and she’s pulling Josie away from Hope and Lizzie before any further damage can be done.

After that, most of the night is spent moving between the dancefloor and the bar, and takes any opportunity she receives to get as close to Penelope as she can. She’s managed to reign in any more jealous outbursts, and Josie will pretend that’s because she’s completely mature, and not simply because Penelope’s progressively started showing her more attention throughout the night.

There’s a certain excited buzz running through Josie’s body that she’s sure has little to do with the drinks she’s consumed and everything to do with having had Penelope pressed up against her on the dancefloor multiple times tonight.

Penelope excuses herself to go to the bathroom a number of times, which Josie quickly realizes means she’s sneaking out for a cigarette when she returns with the smell of smoke stuck to her. When Hope and Lizzie start growing increasingly affectionate with one another, Josie decides she’d prefer to sit amongst cigarette smoke with Penelope than play third wheel to her sister and her best friend. When she makes her way into the smoker’s area and locates green eyes amongst the crowd, Penelope’s already watching her from her perch on a stool. Penelope smiles as she takes a drag from her cigarette, waiting for Josie to approach.

“You’re in trouble.” Josie declares when she reaches her, causing Penelope’s brows to rise in question.

“Am I?”

Josie reaches over for the cigarette between Penelope’s fingers, only for Penelope to pull it away.

“Careful, Jojo.” The nickname rolls off Penelope’s tongue like it was made just for her, and something stirs in Josie as the fond familiarity in her voice. “Let’s not make a bad influence out of me.”

Josie scoffs, “Too late for that.” She reaches again, only for Penelope to pull it out of her reach once more, returning the cigarette to her lips.

“Why am I in trouble?”

“Lizzie knows you smoke.”

Penelope laughs, “Did Hope tell her?”

Josie rolls her eyes, “No. You’re not exactly being subtle, disappearing to feed your addiction all the time.”

“I’m not addicted.”

“Right. I’m sure you could quit tomorrow.”

Penelope looks at Josie pointedly and she reaches over to the ashtray on the table next to her, stifling the ember of her cigarette, “If I wanted to, I could.”

“So, seeing as you have that thing about taking orders, if I told you to _keep_ smoking…” Josie teases, and she only notices she’s closed in on Penelope when her thighs press into Penelope’s knees.

Penelope grins up at her, and her knees fall to the sides, allowing Josie to step between her legs, “I heard something interesting.” She says, changing the topic. “ _Apparently_ … this little date night was your idea.”

Josie’s eyes widen, and she regrets moving so close to Penelope now, knowing her blush will be on display for her. “Um… I guess.” She attempts to sound nonchalant, “Lizzie and I were talking about you and Hope becoming close and it just came up. I didn’t think we would actually do it.”

“Hmm.”

Josie feels Penelope’s fingers tracing up and down the side of one of her thighs, and she wonders if Penelope is even aware of the action – or aware of the way Josie’s body heat immediately seems to double in temperature. Josie doesn’t hear whatever Penelope says next; she only knows Penelope has spoken because those fingers tap more pointedly against her thigh and Josie looks up in response to find Penelope watching her expectantly.

“Uh– what?”

Penelope laughs, “I was _asking_ why you’ve put a target on Hope’s back tonight.”

Josie frowns at her, glancing away, “I haven’t–”

“Yes, you have.” Penelope’s voice is tense – almost bothered. “Are you okay with her spending time with me?”

Josie doesn’t know exactly how she’s supposed to answer that question truthfully without sounding like an absolute idiot, and her eyes dart to the doors back into the club. Penelope must catch on, as her hands move to rest more firmly at Josie’s hips, keeping her in place in front of her and making escape difficult. Although – Josie’s not particularly mad about the intimacy of the touch, and she loses herself for a moment in how much she enjoys the almost possessive grip.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she mutters out. Josie’s practically leaning forward onto Penelope, and the height of the stool Penelope is sitting on places Josie a full head taller than her. Even so, she’s distracted by how easy it would be to dip down for a kiss.

“You tell me.”

Penelope’s fingers creep beneath Josie’s shirt – whether on purpose, or due to the fabric riding up, Josie’s not sure – but it makes focusing on anything else a lot more difficult, and she doesn’t respond to Penelope. She can feel Penelope’s eyes on her, and when she forces her own to meet her stare, the other woman’s mind is clearly on a different path to Josie’s.

“I told you nothing ever happened between us.”

“Who?”

“Hope and me.”

“Oh.” Josie mutters distractedly, frowning, “Yeah. I know.”

“ _Okay_.” Penelope sounds annoyed, “So is this about Hope, then?”

“What about Hope?”

“I won’t tell her about your feelings for her, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”

That manages to bring Josie out of her daze, and she pulls back slightly to frown at Penelope, “Where did _that_ come from?”

Penelope’s hands drop from Josie’s hips, and she shrugs, withdrawing in that infuriating way that tells Josie she’s already made her mind up about whatever it is that’s bugging her. Penelope lets out a laugh, shaking her head, “Forget it.”

Josie surprises herself when she doesn’t take the easy way out. Maybe it’s because of the liquid courage, or because she’s simply growing tired of the lack of actual clarity between them. “No. This isn’t about Hope. Not like that, anyway.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“I just…” Josie huffs, careful with her words, “You guys have been spending all this time together, and getting close, and I guess I just thought that that was what was going to happen with _us_.”

“You want to spend time with me?”

Josie’s cheeks redden, and she has to look away from inquisitive green eyes, “Well, _obviously._ We’re here right now, aren’t we?”

“So… you’re jealous of Hope.”

“I mean – I don’t know if I’d say ‘jealous’. Well – I guess. Yeah. Maybe.”

“Oh.”

Josie lets out an exasperated laugh at Penelope’s surprise, unsure why this would even come as a shock to her, considering Josie’s behaviour of late. “Yeah. ‘Oh’.”

“You could have just said that, you know.”

“No, I couldn’t have.”

Penelope grins, shrugging, “Well, you _were_ the one to say we had to ‘cool off’.”

“I know.”

Penelope’s amusement sobers, and she reaches out for Josie’s hand, hooking her index finger around Josie’s, “You have me now, though.”

Josie’s stomach flips, and she interlocks their fingers, offering Penelope a small smile, “I can work with that.”

* * *

It’s not long before Josie and Penelope find their way back out to the dancefloor, and with their last conversation, Josie feels bolder in riding the beat and allowing herself to move close to Penelope. She isn’t blind to the other eyes on Penelope, but unlike the jealousy Josie’s becoming annoyingly used to feeling, there’s a certain confidence that washes over her, knowing Penelope’s focus is only on her.

She sees Penelope smile, and then Penelope reaches for her, hand finding the small of Josie’s back as she brings her into her space.

Josie’s body practically hums at the feel of Penelope’s hand pressing her closer, and she gladly takes the opportunity to move in. Their noses bump together, Josie’s eyes drifting to Penelope’s lips, and it takes her a second to realize they’re moving. She looks to Penelope’s amused gaze, “What?”

Penelope grins, leaning up so her lips are next Josie’s ear, “I asked if this was okay.”

Josie’s certain Penelope can feel the heat of Josie’s cheeks, and she just nods, heart skipping when Penelope takes the response as permission for her to loop her arms around the back of Josie’s neck. They’re so close now that Josie can feel Penelope’s breath against her, and it feels like hours pass there, with Penelope in her arms and their lips ghosting tauntingly over one another’s.

Penelope’s fingers scratch at the back of Josie’s neck, and the light pressure has Josie leaning in closer, and when Josie’s eyes dart to Penelope’s, she finds hungry green eyes looking back at her. Josie tilts her head, and her lips brush against Penelope’s only slightly – a barely-there touch that Josie thinks she could have even imagined. She’s moving in to chase Penelope’s lips with a firmer kiss when a hand falls down on her shoulder, and the moment is unceremoniously ended by the Lizzie and Hope’s drunken expressions of amusement.

“We’re ready to go!” Hope calls over the music.

Josie doesn’t even hear whatever suggestive joke her sister delivers, still staring at Penelope and wondering if it would be completely inappropriate to ignore Lizzie and Hope and pull Penelope back to her. But Penelope is laughing, face flushed and eyes bright, and then she’s taking Josie’s hand and pulling her along to follow Hope and Lizzie.

And Josie wonders if Penelope didn’t have it entirely wrong when she disowned her family.

* * *

The group end the night at Josie’s apartment with a bottle of wine, and Josie manages to put aside the bitterness over her ruined moment with Penelope to make the most of the extra time with her instead. Penelope plays the part of the perfect girlfriend and they cuddle up on the couch together, and it’s easy to imagine for a moment that it’s all real. That she really is ending her night with Penelope and that the curtain won’t close on their act the moment Hope and Lizzie leave.

It’s the realization that she doesn’t want it to end that leads to Josie’s proposal at the end of the night, when Hope and Lizzie have stumbled out to meet their Uber and Penelope is preparing to make her own exit.

Josie is sitting on the couch watching as Penelope types away on her phone, and she can feel a desperation picking at her with every second that passes before the Uber arrives to take Penelope away. Wanting to be around Penelope is nothing new. But lately, Josie’s grown less and less interested in hiding the truth of just how much she wants it. Perhaps because she’s tired of the strange dance between them, or because it feels safer, somehow, to want Penelope now. It’s getting harder for Josie to understand the version of herself that fought it so hard, that treated her desire for Penelope like a threat that she needed to run from. Now all she wants to do is run towards it.

“You could stay.” Josie’s voice is quiet when she says it, unsteady and unsure.

Penelope looks over to Josie from where she’s been hovering near the door, and she frowns, “Stay… here?”

Josie shrugs, pretending it’s a simple suggestion and not something that has her heart beating heavily in her chest with anxiety over the answer. “Well, yeah.”

Penelope watches Josie curiously, and Josie knows her well enough to expect her to not just let her get away with keeping the question simple and easy. “Why?”

Josie sighs, feeling her cheeks heat up, but she forces herself to meet Penelope’s gaze, “Because I want you to.”

It’s a relief when she says it, and even with the fear of what Penelope’s response might be, Josie doesn’t regret it. She sees Penelope’s expression soften, and her stomach dips at the smile that tugs at Penelope’s lips.

“Okay.” Penelope says softly, and then she rolls her eyes, walking over to the couch, “As long as we don’t watch Glee.”

Josie laughs, and she tries to contain the thrilled grin on her face when Penelope falls down next to her on the cushions, and it feels natural when she curves her body into Penelope’s, resting her head on her shoulder.

She falls asleep like that, resting against Penelope and feeling more at home than she can remember feeling in a long time. She’s woken by Penelope in the early morning, and Josie allows her to drag her by the hand to her bedroom. When she’s settled beneath her comforter, she notices Penelope hesitating by the bed, and Josie’s hand darts out to catch Penelope’s before the woman can leave.

There’s no conversation. Whatever questions Penelope has, she must find on Josie’s face, as she soon softens and moves to pull off her jeans. She slides into bed beside Josie and Josie immediately edges towards the warmth of Penelope’s body.

And it’s such a small, insignificant gesture. Something that should mean barely anything, given the amount of times they’ve fallen into the same bed and done a lot more than simply sleeping. But all the same, it feels like taking a step off the edge of that cliff that Josie’s spent months teetering on.

And when she wakes up curled into Penelope’s side the next morning, she only wishes she’d taken that step sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, everyone! Hope y'all have a good time with your loved ones if you're celebrating something! If not, hope you have an amazing December anyway!
> 
> Also I changed my twitter @, so you'll now find me @besstarani


	16. Chapter 15

The morning after the double-date with Lizzie and Hope is spent in a manner very similar to the last time Josie awoke to Penelope’s company. Although, this time she gets to wake up with Penelope actually next to her, which brings with it a strange familiarity that shouldn’t really be there, considering they never did this even when they _were_ having sex. But Josie supposes that’s one of the things with Penelope; everything about her presence in Josie’s life feels so natural that Josie finds it hard to remember a time when she wanted nothing to do with her.

They lie in bed for a while next to one another, talking about the events of the night before in tired, murmured tones, and it’s only when their closeness starts to become claustrophobic that Josie decides to crawl out of bed – resisting the tempting alternative of leaning over and pressing Penelope into the mattress with a kiss.

Josie will realize eventually that this is the point where she and Penelope started to develop certain _habits._ They make breakfast together and morning turns to lunch and then it’s suddenly the afternoon and they’re walking into work together and Josie thinks she doesn’t mind this routine at all.

Later, once they’ve bid their last customers goodnight, Josie is settling up the takings while Penelope sits next to her at the bar, enjoying her end-of-shift beer. She can feel Penelope watching her – which isn’t really strange, anymore, but tonight it’s that kind of _thinking_ stare that Penelope trains on her sometimes. The one where Josie knows there’s something on the tip of Penelope’s tongue that she’s just waiting for the opportunity to share. Which is kind of worrying, considering there are a number of things about last night that Josie’s not entirely sure she’s ready for a sober conversation about.

Josie doesn’t look up from the takings book she’s writing in, “You know, if you didn’t look like you do, the whole staring thing would be creepy.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“It’s a hint that you should stop staring at people.”

“I’m not staring at ‘people’. I’m staring at _you_.” Josie can hear Penelope’s smirk, “Does it bother you?”

“ _You_ bother me.” Josie’s not oblivious to the absence of the malice that used to be in her tone when she’d have these kinds of back-and-forth’s with Penelope. She’s not sure when she started enjoying them – or whether a part of her might have enjoyed it all along.

“Now that’s just a lie.”

Josie rolls her eyes at Penelope’s confidence, “So do I get to know why you’re staring?”

“I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“You and Hope.”

That makes Josie’s head turn, and she frowns at Penelope, her stomach stirring uncomfortably. She really wishes Penelope were easier to read, because it’s truly cruel how she likes to propel them down routes that Josie never expects them to go. She tries to play off her discomfort, looking back to the takings book – although, the numbers on the page mean nothing to her now. “What about us?”

“I was just thinking. After last night, and you being all… _whatever that was_ about her.” Penelope says, “I mean, we’ve talked about my history with her, but never _yours_.”

Josie’s frown deepens, and she lets out a confused laugh, “Uh, yeah we have. That’s the entire reason everyone thinks we’re dating.”

“Yeah, but we never talked details.”

“What details do you want?”

“I don’t know.” Penelope shrugs, although it’s clear she _does know_ what she’s after. “If you had this giant crush on her for all that time, did anything ever happen actually happen between you guys?”

This isn’t exactly a topic Josie has ever enjoyed dwelling on, but it’s somehow more unpleasant talking about it with Penelope. She huffs, reminding herself of the amount of times she’s prodded Penelope about her own relationship with Hope. “She was with Lizzie.”

“And before that?”

“She was with Landon.”

“And before–”

“No. Never She never saw me like that.” Josie bites out, annoyance creeping up on her now, “Why’re you asking this now?”

“I don’t know. I was just… thinking.”

“But _why?_ ”

Penelope eyes Josie curiously, resting her head in her hand, “Why were you into her?”

Josie drops her pen to the book pointedly, turning around on her stool to look at Penelope properly, “ _Really?”_

A smile tugs at the corner of Penelope’s lips, “Really.”

“She’s Hope Mikaelson. Everyone was into her.”

“I never was.”

“Yeah but you’re…”

Penelope’s smile widens, and she tilts her head, leaning over her stool teasingly towards Josie, “I’m…”

Josie doesn’t really know where she was going with the sentence, so she just huffs and rolls her eyes, “You’re you.” She swipes Penelope’s beer from her, taking a sip, “I don’t know. I try not to think too much about that one time I crushed on my sister’s soulmate. Can you drop it, now?”

Of course, Penelope won’t. She laughs, “It’s just hard to picture you two together.”

“Yeah, well, clearly Hope had the same problem.”

“It wouldn’t have worked between you.”

“Wow.” Josie laughs, the bluntness surprising her, “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” She says bitterly, sliding Penelope’s beer back over to her and getting up from the tool – to put the takings in the safe, as well as to simply put some distance between them.

“I didn’t mean it as an insult.” Penelope says, watching Josie as she moves behind the bar. “I just knew Hope back then. And I know you.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” Josie drawls, despite being well aware that Penelope very much _does_ know her. Better than Josie’s sometimes comfortable with.

Of course, Penelope’s unfazed by the response, “I do.” She confirms confidently.

Josie glares back at her and dumps the takings bag in the safe, locking it before moving back around the bar, intent on getting her bag and getting out of here. It’s not even the _Hope_ part of this that grates on her. It’s that Penelope is the one thinking she’s apparently not good enough.

“You’re mad.”

“No, I’m not.” Josie says dryly, “I love hearing about how bad you think I would’ve been for your best friend.”

“I never said that.”

“Why’d you say anything at all?”

“I don’t know, Josie. Probably for the same reason you kept asking me about _my_ history with her.” She catches Josie’s hand as she stomps past, pulling her over and forcing Josie’s attention back to her. “What I said came out wrong.”

Josie doesn’t pull out of Penelope’s grasp, but she glares stubbornly down at her, waiting for an elaboration.

“I don’t think you would have been bad for her. Honestly, you probably would have been good for her, if anything.” Penelope says, and Josie notices how she seems to struggle to get that statement out, like it’s left a bad taste in her mouth. “But you would have deserved more than what Hope could have offered you.”

Penelope maintains her hold on Josie’s wrist, looking up at Josie with such sincerity that it’s hard to breathe. Josie doesn’t really know how to answer that, and she wonders how much time Penelope has spent thinking about her and her feelings for Hope. Because she can almost see all the thoughts Penelope is holding back right now about the topic. She wonders how far she’d have to push her to get it out of her.

Josie steps closer, allowing Penelope’s hold on her to relax with the assurance she’s not about to bolt. “And what do you think I deserved?”

Penelope pauses, hesitating, and Josie's surprised when she actually answers her.

“You deserve to be someone’s first choice. To have someone who can give you as much as you give them.” She says, “Maybe more.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Josie that Penelope’s failed to talk in past tense.

If she weren’t a coward, this is the part where she’d ask Penelope _who_ she thinks she deserves. She’d ask whether Penelope means herself.

But instead, Josie lets the opportunity pass her by, and Penelope looks disappointed by her silence. She releases Josie’s hand, clearing her throat and gathering herself.

“Last night you said you wanted to spend more time together.” She says.

“I did.”

“Was that…” Penelope’s uncharacteristically nervous, “I mean– you meant that, then.”

“Yeah.”

Penelope nods, smiles, “Okay.”

And then the moment’s over, and Josie feels like it’s not nearly enough.

* * *

If Josie had known simply telling Penelope what she wanted would lead to her getting exactly that, she would have shoved her pride aside and done it sooner. Since their night with Lizzie and Hope, Josie and Penelope have spent an increasing amount of time together. It’s become a habit, now, to end up venturing to Penelope’s whenever she finds herself with nothing to do.

And it’s nice, existing alongside Penelope like this. Being with her without having to make up excuses or pretend there is anyone else she’d rather be spending her time with. But even with this progression, that thing inside of Josie that increasingly craves Penelope refuses to settle. Instead, it demands more, and the pull she feels towards the woman gets heavier and harder to ignore with every small touch or glance Penelope sends Josie’s way.

Josie can’t really tell what Penelope is thinking – at times, she’s certain they’re on the same page. When Josie catches her staring or she insists on taking up her space – Josie thinks, surely, Penelope must be battling the same as her. But then there will be those moments, where they’re caught up in one another and Josie expects something to happen between them – something more. And she’s ready for it, and she waits, but Penelope never makes any such move, and then she’s shrugging it off like nothing ever happened.

Or moments like this afternoon, where Penelope acts so completely aghast at the idea of something deeper going on between them, that Josie wonders if she’s made it all up in her head.

When she arrives at work on Friday, Penelope is already behind the bar, head resting in her hand and scrolling through her phone. Her hair is messy and she’s wearing minimal make-up, which shows the bags under her eyes. Josie doesn’t have to make her usual presumptions as to the reason for Penelope’s tired state. Where she once would have assumed she was hungover, Josie knows Penelope spent her night working on an assignment; she knows this because she’d been there with her, curled up on the other end of Penelope’s couch and reading a book she’d swiped from the bartender’s overloaded bookcase while Penelope tapped away at her laptop.

Josie had fallen asleep right there, and when she’d woken in the morning, Penelope was passed out with her laptop still sitting on her legs and her glasses falling down her nose. Before she left, she’d coaxed Penelope upstairs to her bed, and it had taken all of Josie’s self-control not to climb right in with her. But there are still _some_ boundaries, of course – although, there’s something so domestic about all of this that has Josie wondering if there’s really a line between them at all anymore.

Penelope glances up from her phone when she hears Josie walking into the bar, and she offers Josie a soft smile that makes her immediately feel better about the impending shift. Penelope’s eyes fall back to her phone, and her greeting is a bored, drawled, “Hey, Babe.”

Josie freezes halfway across the bar.

For a moment, she’s convinced she misheard.

But then Penelope stiffens, eyes wide when she looks up to Josie.

Josie laughs awkwardly, “Did you just call me–”

“ _No_.” Penelope barks out, but her cheeks redden with a blush that confirms that Josie definitely heard her correctly.

“You said– ”

“Nothing.” Penelope pushes off the bar, making herself busy with a task she clearly doesn’t need to do, “I didn’t say anything.”

Josie wants to push it – usually, she wouldn’t be able to resist lauding it over Penelope. But the panic on Penelope’s face distracts her from what would usually be an entertaining slip-up, instead placing yet another _thought_ in Josie’s mind, that maybe Penelope feels just as out-of-depth as Josie.

She watches as Penelope polishes a glass that was definitely already polished when she picked it up, waiting for her to say something more about it. But Penelope refuses to look at her, and Josie decides to have mercy and let the moment pass them by. It’s a Friday night, after all, and Josie would prefer to not risk ruining it by putting Penelope in a mood.

Although, when MG arrives, Josie can’t resist the opportunity to dip behind the bar and press a kiss to Penelope’s cheek, “Don’t forget the stock out back, _Babe_.” She reminds her, and Josie gets a kick out of the small smile it puts on Penelope’s lips before Penelope realizes Josie’s teasing her and remembers to glare.

Josie doesn’t get a chance to bring it up again – once the bar opens, they’re both pre-occupied with customers that arrive in larger crowds than usual, thanks to the fast-approaching holiday season. Which is just a reminder to Josie that she needs to put together a strategy for her obligatory home visit. Usually, she can get out of Christmas, thanks to the bar being busy. But never Thanksgiving. At least this time Lizzie and Hope will be there – they take turns in whose hometown they visit for the holidays. This year they’ll be in New Orleans for Christmas, leaving Thanksgiving for Mystic Falls. Considering last year went so poorly that the moment Josie got back to DC she got drunk enough to sleep with Penelope, Josie’s not holding out much hope for a successful visit.

(Although, Josie’s not sure she’d be too upset about a similar outcome this time around.)

Penelope’s shift finishes up early tonight – MG closing with Josie instead, and Josie tries not to pout too much when Penelope disappears out of the bar with a group of friends, telling herself that:

  1. she’s not entitled to Penelope’s time and energy; and
  2. there should probably be a limit to how much they hang out, anyway.



Although, it turns out Josie’s not the only one struggling with boundaries, because when she’s about to crawl into bed that night, she’s interrupted by a knock at her apartment door. She almost lets it go by ignored – because really, what kind of creep is knocking on her door at 2am? But then they knock again, and Josie’s tired and annoyed enough to storm over to her door and check the peephole, heart jumping at the sight of green eyes on the other side.

Josie swings open the door, forcing a frown, “Penelope?”

Penelope _beams_ at her, leaning up against the doorframe, “ _Honey, I’m home_.” She slurs in a way that Josie is sure would have sounded sexier coming from a sober version of the bartender. Her eyes drag over Josie unabashedly before a hiccup ruins any chance at the smooth image she’d been attempting.

Somehow, Josie still finds the lazy drunken version of Penelope charming enough to not be too bothered by the late visit. “Home?”

Penelope shrugs, “Well, it’s _a_ home. Your home. Same difference.”

“Not _your_ home, though.”

“Some say home is a feeling.”

The response surprises Josie, but Penelope just looks at her with an unbothered expression, as though the depth hasn’t quite occurred to her, or maybe it has. Josie’s tempted to ask about it but doing so while Penelope is drunk feels invasive. So instead, she nods, “How poetic.” She says dryly, stepping aside to let Penelope into her apartment. When Penelope passes by, Josie almost chokes on the strong scent of cigarettes. “You smell like a chimney.”

“Oh. I was drinking whiskey.” Penelope throws over her shoulder, “Wanted the smell gone.”

Josie’s confused for a moment before it occurs to her what Penelope’s getting at. “The smell doesn’t trigger me, you know. I wouldn’t work in a bar if I couldn’t be around alcohol without thinking about my dad.”

The thought behind it is oddly touching, though, despite the amount of candles Josie’s going to have to light to get the smell of cigarettes out.

“Still. Don’t want you to–” Penelope pauses in the middle of Josie’s living room, brow furrowed, “Is it that bad? I can shower. I’ll shower.”

Josie bites back a smile at Penelope’s scattered state, “If you’re staying over, you should shower.” She confirms.

“I can stay over?” Penelope looks back to her hopefully – like Josie hadn’t spent last night at Penelope’s apartment anyway.

“Well I’m not going to make you go back to the other side of town.”

“Hm.” Penelope thinks on something, and then nods, “Okay.”

The quietness to Penelope unnerves Josie, as she turns and offers her a smile before disappearing down the hall towards the bathroom. Josie waits on the couch for her, hearing the shower turn on moments later. Josie only realizes her mistake when Penelope comes walking back down the hall, freshly showered with a towel wrapped around her.

Josie stares at her for a beat, entire body freezing up at the sight of a nearly naked Penelope standing in her living room. Unfortunately, the shower sobered up Penelope just enough for her to register Josie ogling her.

She arches a brow, “Take a picture, Saltzman.”

Josie’s so flustered she almost thinks that’s a genuine invitation.

(She also almost takes her up on it).

Josie swallows, letting out a soft laugh, “Sorry. Um. I’ll get you clothes.” She leaps up from the couch, and Penelope doesn’t move out from the middle of the hallway when she goes to walk to her room, forcing Josie to slide past her. There’s a moment when she does where their eyes meet, and Josie’s startled by the urge to push Penelope up against the wall and kiss her.

But friends don’t do that.

Or– are they friends? Is anything they’ve been doing strictly ‘friendly’?

She manages to get past without succumbing to her impulses, but Penelope follows behind her closely and Josie can feel her presence weighing on her more than usual. She’s not sure if it’s intentional on Penelope’s part, or if this is just the effect of the constant, growing thing between them.

She gets to her room and retrieves a tee and shorts for Penelope to change into, turning to hand them to her and finding Penelope close enough that Josie’s eyes immediately fall to her chest, darting back up again to find Penelope frowning deeply down at the clothes.

“I shouldn’t be here.” Penelope says suddenly.

It’s enough to get Josie to stop fixating on Penelope’s bare skin. “Well… why are you?”

Green eyes look up at Josie, and she can see Penelope’s brain working more than it should be in her state – but Josie’s grown used to that. Even with liquor in her system, Penelope’s guard never completely falls; her words usually careful and calculated. Which is why it’s all the more surprising when she _doesn’t_ hold things back.

Penelope looks frustrated, and then she sighs, shrugging, “I want to be.”

It’s enough for Josie – for the moment, anyway. Because it at least means Penelope’s staying; and later, when Penelope slides into bed next to her and noses her head into the crook of Josie’s neck, falling asleep mid-sentence, Josie can pull her closer, and they can pretend that this is totally, completely normal.

* * *

Josie wakes later in the night to the sudden feeling of being cold, at the loss of the warm body she’d previously been wrapped around. She opens her eyes just in time to see her door closing quietly behind Penelope, and Josie’s heart sinks at the thought of her sneaking out without so much as a goodbye. But it’s not her front door that she hears open a minute later – instead, it’s the slide of her balcony door.

She lies in bed for a few minutes, unsure whether to follow Penelope or leave her to her own devices. But after she tries and fails to fall back to sleep, she climbs out of the bed to seek her out. When she moves into the living room, she spots Penelope out on the balcony, leaning over the railing.

Josie grabs the quilt that sits over her couch before stepping out with Penelope, pulling it around her body as the night air sends goosebumps across her skin.

Penelope turns at the sound, smiling softly at Josie and leaning back against the railing, watching Josie curl up on the lounger.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Josie queries, and Penelope nods. Josie catches the fond expression that crosses Penelope’s face when she fails to fight off a yawn, and her cheeks heat up under Penelope’s gaze. She looks to the familiar packet that Penelope is toying with, grasping for something else to say, “You’re not smoking?”

Penelope frowns at her, and then looks to the pack of cigarettes in her hands like she forgot it was there, “Oh. Yeah.” She laughs, “Seemed kinda… counterproductive.”

Josie smiles, “I won’t kick you out of bed if you have one cigarette.”

“It’s fine. I really just… needed fresh air.” Penelope’s clearly sober now, but the quiet, pensive mood she was in seems to have just gotten worse. “I’m sorry for coming over.” She says, “I shouldn’t have.”

Josie shrugs, pulling her quilt around herself, “I don’t mind.” She says, “It’s kind of… nice.”

Penelope laughs, “I don’t think a drunk wake-up call is what I’d call ‘nice’.”

“I like having you here.” Josie trips up on her own words for a moment, but finds her voice again with a shaky exhale. “I like being around you. Whenever.”

Josie wishes she could tell what Penelope is thinking as she stares at her, but whatever the expression on Penelope’s face means – soft and heavy – it’s hard to breathe under. “Yeah.” Penelope murmurs, “I get that.”

They sit in silence for a while, but it’s not the comfortable silence that Josie has grown used to with Penelope. It’s painfully loaded, and Josie doesn’t know what to say to end it, because whatever thoughts Penelope’s having, she knows they’re about her. And she thinks this might be that moment where they’ve reached the end of the road they’ve been on, and a choice needs to be made about where they go next.

“Josie…”

Her name sounds almost intimate coming from Penelope, and Josie looks up to see the conflicted expression on Penelope’s face. “Yeah?”

Penelope lets out a stressed breath, and she won’t look at Josie now, knuckles white where they grip the railing behind her. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” She waves her hand between them, “Whatever _this_ is.”

Josie purses her lips, “Oh.”

Penelope’s clearly searching for something on Josie’s face, and whether she finds it, Josie’s unsure.

“I know I said that I wouldn’t let things change between us but–” Penelope struggles to get it out, jaw tightening and closing her eyes for a moment as she seems to gather herself. When she opens them, she meets Josie’s gaze, “But _you_ changed things, Josie. And I can’t keep pretending that spending all of this time with you– being _this_ close to you– is just friendship to me.” She says, “I can’t ignore it anymore. I don’t want to.”

It’s something that might have broken Josie a few weeks ago. In the time they’ve spent together, Penelope’s place in Josie’s life has become something she’s guarded so closely that the idea of change has been terrifying, not matter how closely they’ve toed the line.

But the thing is, Josie’s made up her mind already, hasn’t she? She’s known for a while that she wants more, and that for all her fears of letting herself fall down that rabbit hole, it might just be worth it if it’s with Penelope.

So, it’s a surprisingly easy choice for her to make when she gets up from her seat. “Okay.”

She sees fear cross Penelope’s features – maybe at the thought that Josie’s leaving – and it shifts into a frown when Josie instead comes to a stop in front of her. “ 'Okay'?”

Josie steps closer, and when she reaches a hand up to cup Penelope’s cheek, she hears her breath stutter at the touch. Her thumb traces over the Penelope’s bottom lip, and she hesitates for a moment, scared by how much her heart aches for her to close the distance.

But instead of running from it, like a part of her still tells her to - she goes with it, and lets it drive her forward.

And she leans in, and presses her lips to Penelope's, and kisses her.

It’s soft, at first. Delicate and fearful, but then Penelope’s hands find the small of her back and pull her closer, and Josie gives herself over to the kiss.

It’s different to every other kiss before now. Filled with an intimacy that comes with the freedom of letting Penelope know how much she wants this, and knowing Penelope wants it, too. And Josie tries to get it across, to let Penelope know just how long she’s wanted to do this; she presses her body up against Penelope’s and her fingers curl into her hair, and she kisses her like it’s the last chance she’ll ever get to do it.

When they part for air, Josie refuses to step back, her forehead resting against Penelope’s.

Penelope’s eyes open slowly, and Josie grins at the complete look of relief that washes over her expression. She releases a soft, shaky laugh that tickles Josie’s lips, “Okay.” Penelope says, and she leans in to kiss her again.

And yeah, falling down this rabbit hole still fucking terrifies her; but Josie thinks it might not be such a risk after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My twitter @ changed again so now I'm at @wrenhannos if y'all need me. Hope you had a good New Year! Thanks to anyone who left comments and is still tuning in :)


	17. Chapter 16

Falling into Penelope comes easier than Josie expected, after having spent so long fighting it. At first, she puts it down to the fact that they’ve already played the part of two people falling for one another for months now, that actually doing so can’t be very different. She realizes quickly that such isn’t the case, as despite having done much of this before, it all feels different now; she thinks it’s because it’s _Penelope_ , that Josie doesn’t have the constant urge to run away from it. Josie’s never trusted anyone with her heart – she’s always chosen matches that are ‘safe’, people who she can handle losing, people who don’t ask for much of her and who don’t mind that she won’t share herself in certain ways. But while Penelope’s the farthest thing from safe, Josie’s already shared so much of herself with her that she never thought she’d share with another person, and she’s okay with it. With Penelope, for all the heartbreak she has the power of causing her – Josie feels a certain trust that she’s never quite felt. Because Penelope _knows_ her in a way that others don’t; in a way that feels like they were always meant to fall into one another, and all of this was inevitable. That maybe Josie’s just been waiting for Penelope all this time.

They haven’t had a conversation about just what is going on between them since the night Josie kissed Penelope, but there’s a comfortable understanding between them – that they’re both feeling the same thing, and they want to follow wherever it will lead them. They haven’t slept together yet; despite their past, it feels… _intimate_ , in a way that it wasn’t before – in a way that – frankly – scares the shit out of Josie. Because it’s new for her, being this vulnerable with someone and having someone known her as well as Penelope does. And she thinks it’s the same for Penelope, too.

So, things have been… _slow_.

They’ve been dancing around one another past two weeks, testing the waters and seeing how they fit together. Everything feels new: every held hand or kissed cheek feels like the first time, and there’s a shyness about their movements that was never there when they used to sleep together, an excited buzz of anticipation that grows louder every day. And as much as Josie’s been content with the slower pace, it’s starting to have run its course. Kisses are getting deeper, hands are growing bolder, and Josie’s not sure she can survive another night falling into bed with Penelope without tearing her clothes off.

Tonight, they’re set to attend the opening night of the latest art exhibit that Hope has curated, and Penelope stops by Josie’s beforehand so they can go together – which is also one of those new-but-not-really new things, where this is their first _actual_ public outing together since this became more than an act. Josie’s not really sure how they’re supposed to act around one another, tonight, seeing as they’re not really a couple yet; she’s also definite that she’s overthinking all of this.

When she hears the knock on her door, Josie calls for Penelope to let herself in while she finishes up her make-up. When she step out into her living room, Penelope is sat back on the couch, tapping away at her phone. Her brow is furrowed softly, and Josie can read the mild annoyance Penelope is feeling as she approaches.

“Apparently there are paparazzi at these things?” She doesn’t look up from her phone, her voice layered with apprehension.

“Yeah. I think exhibit openings are the only time when Hope _doesn’t_ mind using the Mikaelson name to her advantage.” Josie says, retrieving her invitation from the kitchen counter and stowing it away in her clutch, “There’ll be more than usual tonight, with the wedding coming up.” She tilts her head, looking over Penelope’s outfit. She wears a simple black top tucked into black skinny jeans with a gold-buckled belt, paired with a tan blazer and intimidatingly high heels. Even with the sleeves of the blazer shoved up her arms to bare the tattoos across her skin, there’s something about Penelope that hints at her formal upbringing. The way she holds herself screams of someone who spent her childhood being scolded for incorrect posture.

“You look nice.” Josie says – both because Penelope _does_ look particularly attractive tonight, and because she wants to take Penelope’s mind off whatever it is that’s bugging her. It works, for a moment; Penelope smiles at her and makes a flirtatious comment about Josie’s legs in the pants she’s wearing, but Josie’s blush hasn’t even gone before Penelope is frowning again.

Josie walks over to her, pulling the phone from Penelope’s hands as she moves to straddle her on the couch, “You’re upset.”

Penelope doesn’t protest as Josie pockets her phone, and she sighs, shaking her head, “No, I’m fine.” It’s unconvincing, and Josie brushes her fingers over the crinkle between Penelope’s eyebrows, as though to will the frown away.

“We don’t have to go.”

“I want to.” Penelope sounds firm in that, at least. And Josie believes her. “It’s just… it’s been a while since I’ve been in that world. I’ve kind of made a point of avoiding things like tonight.”

Josie runs her fingers through Penelope’s hair, “ _Well_ , this time you’ll be in that world with me. I promise I’ll save you from the vultures if they get too much.”

Penelope smiles up at her, and Josie notices how she relaxes under her touch, and she leans in, kissing Penelope softly.

Penelope looks more relaxed when they separate, “See, if I’d had you to make-out with when I was a teenager, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad.”

“Something tells me you had plenty of other girls to kiss.”

Penelope laughs, and she sit up, their noses bumping together softly as her lips ghost Josie’s, “Clearly not the right ones.”

Penelope kisses her again, and this time, it grows in fervour fast. Penelope’s hands tighten against Josie’s thighs, and then they’re at the small of her back, pulling her closer in her lap. A soft moan falls from Josie’s lips at the feeling of Penelope pressing their bodies together, and she would be embarrassed by the sound if she weren’t promptly distracted by Penelope moving them. Her arms wrap around Josie’s waist and she turns them, Josie on her back against the cushions of the couch moments later as Penelope’s lips find her neck.

Josie almost loses herself completely at the pressure of Penelope’s body pushing her into the couch, and her hands creep beneath Penelope’s shirt, brushing over the soft skin of her back. Wanting Penelope is not exactly anything new for Josie; even when she hated her, she wanted her. But it was never quite like this; never as consuming as it is now.

Josie starts pulling at Penelope’s blazer, which Penelope shrugs off blindly, as she brings her lips back to Josie’s, releasing a soft gasp into her mouth. Soon she pulls back, hands going to the bottom of her shirt as Josie’s fingers reach for the top button of Penelope’s jeans eagerly.

It’s only then that they both come to a pause, catching one another’s eyes.

Josie thinks she likes Penelope best like this – breathless and unguarded, cheeks flushed and eyes looking down at Josie with complete, unadulterated desire.

Penelope releases a reluctant sigh, her hands stopping their mission to pull her shirt off. She leans down to kiss Josie quickly – like she’s scared if she lingers too long, she won’t stop. “We should go.” She says, and it comes out like a whine, “Like, right now. Or we’re never getting to Hope’s exhibition.”

Josie sighs, tugging at the waist of Penelope’s jeans, “Do we _really_ need to go, though?”

Penelope laughs, and Josie grins at the sound, and then Penelope is jumping up off her, leaving her feeling completely unsatisfied on the couch. She swipes up her jacket from the floor, smirking down at Josie, “I don’t think ‘wanted to get laid’ is on Hope’s list of acceptable reasons to miss something she’s worked on for months.”

Josie pouts at the hand Penelope holds out to her, and reluctantly accepts it, allowing Penelope to pull her off the couch.

And really, it’s a miracle that Josie’s feet follow Penelope out of the apartment.

* * *

As expected, there are paparazzi outside the gallery when they arrive. Thankfully, however, Josie is able to take Penelope’s hand and pull her through the crowds without much fuss. Penelope’s been out of the public eye long enough that – unless they were looking for an heir to the Park fortune – no one would assume she was anything but the average guest bypassing a photo opportunity.

Although, they don’t have as much luck with the media inside the venue, and it only takes Penelope and Hope greeting one another for someone to realize who she is. Josie is talking with Lizzie when it happens, and on the surface, anyone would think Penelope is completely at ease talking with the journalist and entertaining their request for a picture of her and Hope together. Josie, however, recognizes the stiff posture and false smile, and she’s about to step in with an excuse to get Penelope out of there when Hope does so instead. Josie doesn’t hear what is said, but Hope seems to tactfully steer her and Penelope away from the conversation under the guise of showing her around the exhibit. Josie’s happy to watch them wander off together, until Lizzie decides to turn their own conversation sour and she regrets not running after her fake/maybe someday soon actual girlfriend.

There’s been a lull in their conversation when Lizzie deems it time to say, “Dad says he hasn’t heard from you in a while,” in a way that immediately makes guilt settle in Josie’s stomach.

Josie sighs, “I’ve been busy.” She says, and it isn’t a complete lie; she’s just also actively avoided his calls.

“He’s our dad, Josie. You could at least pick up the phone every now and then.”

Josie bites back a sharp response, wondering how Lizzie manages to make her feel like the bad daughter so easily, like Josie wasn’t the one who stayed in Mystic Falls for him for two years, while Lizzie started a life with Hope in DC.

“I will. I’ve just been working whenever he’s called.” She lies again instead, and Lizzie lets out a disappointed sigh that makes Josie feel even shittier.

“Well, at least Thanksgiving is coming up. Promise you’ll at least try with him?”

“When have I ever _not_ tried with him?” Josie mutters out bitterly, “Besides, I actually don’t think I’m coming to Thanksgiving.” 

Lizzie’s expression darkens immediately, “ _Josie_.”

“What? I have finals coming up, and work is busy.” Josie says, attempting to sound as reasonable as possible, “And Penelope will be here–”

“ _Obviously_ Penelope can come to Thanksgiving.”

Josie scoffs, “I’m not putting her through that.”

“Fine. But you’re coming to Thanksgiving, Jo. You’re already skipping Christmas–”

“So are you.”

“No, I’m spending Christmas with my _other_ family. _You’re_ spending it serving tequila shots to drunken idiots.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “I was home for Christmas for an entire week last year. I’d lose my job if I did took the time off again.”

(Josie doesn’t mention that she made a point of letting their manager know she’d be around during Christmas.)

“And that was _fine_ , so long as you were going to be home for _Thanksgiving_.” Lizzie says, like she’s speaking to a child, “You know how much effort Mom puts into the holidays. You can’t punish her just because of Dad.”

She’s not entirely wrong, there, and it’s the thought of her mother’s stringently organized Thanksgiving that has Josie relenting. “I’ll see what I can do.” She says, and she knows already that she’ll end up home, just as planned. Either from her own guilt or from Lizzie running her down enough.

When some socialite approaches them to gush with Lizzie over her impending nuptials, Josie is quick to take her exit, enjoying her own anonymity and exploring the exhibition in peace.

It’s not long before Penelope comes to find her, sidling up next to Josie and looking at the art piece in front of them with a curious tilt of her head, “I don’t get it.”

Josie smiles, glancing over to Penelope, “I thought liking art was a pre-requisite for Old Money?”

“Part of being unethically rich means throwing money at shit that you don’t understand so that you can pretend to understand it. It’s all about appearances, Babe.” Penelope’s hip bumps Josie’s, “Obviously, Hope’s one of the exceptions.”

“ _Obviously_.” Josie grins, turning to face Penelope, “Did you just call me ‘Babe’ again?”

Unlike last time, Penelope doesn’t seem concerned, and she steps closer to Josie, arms wrapping around her waist, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She teases, and Josie find herself relieved, that Penelope is claiming her like this where anyone could see; but Penelope always seems comfortable and assured where Josie struggles, so it’s unsurprising that she wasn’t having the same meltdown as Josie over how things might change between them now that their ‘relationship’ is closer to reality than planned.

Josie laughs at her; with Penelope’s heels, they’re the same height, and she loops her arms around her neck, pressing a quick kiss to Penelope’s cheek. “How was it with the reporter?”

Penelope shrugs, “Fine, I guess. Hope changed the conversation when they started asking about why I’ve been MIA. I’m surprised they even knew who I was; I kinda hoped my parents had found a way to wipe my name from the family tree by now.”

Josie knows Penelope means the comment to be light-hearted, but it still saddens her, just how alienated Penelope is from her own family. Even with everything with her father, Josie doesn’t think she could survive having him out of her life completely; losing a part of her history that makes her who she is.

“You really mean that?”

The question seems to take Penelope by surprise, “Well… yeah.”

“But being a Park is still a part of you. Something that’s yours to claim as much as it is your family’s.”

“It’s not something I want to claim, though.” Penelope says, “I’ve made a life here that’s separate from all of that, and I like it that way.”

Of course, it’s that moment that they both hear a shutter, and they turn to find one of the reporters smiling at them over the lens of her camera. The woman seems completely unaware of the fact that she might be intruding on a moment that isn’t for her to share, as she simply sends them a polite smile before moving on to take photos of the other guests that her publisher will want documented. Josie’s not new to this kind of thing; she’s witnessed the same in the media’s sense of entitlement to Hope – and lately, Lizzie. But having it trained on Penelope has her feeling a type of defensiveness that she hasn’t felt before.

Penelope hasn’t pulled away from Josie, but she has stiffened slightly, and she wears a scowl as she watches the reporter wander off. “I didn’t miss that.” She mutters out.

Josie steps back, taking Penelope’s hand in her own, “At least you photograph well.” She teases, receiving a laugh from Penelope as she pulls her along, “Now, let me explain some art to you so you can pretend to know what you’re talking about when Hope asks you about it later.”

* * *

They leave together later in the night, after getting their fill of the exhibit and successfully keeping Penelope out of the clutches of any more over-eager reporters. Josie’s surprised that even with her mind preoccupied by the various curious eyes on her, Penelope manages to notice Josie’s own mood.

When they walk down the steps of the gallery, Penelope takes Josie’s hand in her own and Josie can feel Penelope watching her curiously. She eventually looks to Penelope, and the bartender smiles at her, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Josie says, although at her unconvincing tone, Penelope sends her an expectant look, waiting her out. “It’s just–” she sighs, feeling like a broken record as she says it, “Lizzie was nagging me about Dad again.”

“Thanksgiving?” Penelope’s guess takes Josie by surprise, considering she’s made a point of not bringing it up around her.

Before they put their feelings on the table, Josie had kind of assumed Penelope _would_ come along to Thanksgiving with her to keep up appearances. Now, she couldn’t care less about their fake relationship, and she wants Penelope as far away from her family drama as she can get her.

“That was part of it.” Josie says, and as they come to a stop to wait for their ride home, she hops up on the short wall next to the steps of the gallery. “I’ve been avoiding his calls lately, and Lizzie thinks I need to try harder with him.”

Penelope frowns, stepping over to stand in front of Josie. She clearly doesn’t agree with Lizzie and doesn’t attempt to hide the measure of disapproval on her face. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t know. She just… doesn’t get how it’s different for me. She can call dad and keep it simple and feel good about herself after it. But I can’t tune it out.” Josie sighs, shaking her head, “He’s always leant on me more than he does her. Like he thinks I can handle it better, or something. But Lizzie’s never seen that. She just thinks by putting space between me and him, I’m being a shitty daughter. She doesn’t get what it does to me if let him in too much. I mean – yeah, maybe it’s selfish, but I’ve just been… _happy_ , lately, and I didn’t want to ruin it for once.”

Josie lets her legs fall to the side, allowing Penelope to step between them, “That’s not selfish.” Penelope says, and Josie wants to believe her, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that she’s falling short of the daughter she’s supposed to be. “Have you ever spoken to Lizzie about that?”

“Kind of. Not really.” Josie laughs weakly, shrugging, “I mean, it’s not Lizzie’s fault. It’s just the way things have always been.” 

Penelope nods, her fingers tracing circles above Josie’s knee lightly, “Do you want me to come with you? To Thanksgiving?”

Josie considers it for a moment, knowing that the last time she’d had to deal with her father, Penelope had been a saving grace. But things are different now; _now,_ she has something with Penelope that she’s afraid of losing. “No, you don’t have to do that.” Josie decides.

“I don’t mind.” Penelope says, “I was just going to do Friendsgiving.”

“I promise you, you’d prefer to be at Friendsgiving. Dad will be there, and if he’s drinking, he can get… nasty at this time of the year.” Josie leans in, pressing her face into the crook of Penelope’s neck and inhaling her scent, “I’ll be fine.”

“You realise I have already done the ‘meet the family’ thing multiple times by now? I can handle your dad.”

“I know you can. It’s just different now.”

“How?”

“You know how.” Josie pulls back to look at Penelope. She’s always struggled to read her, but right now, she thinks her expression might be one of disappointment.

Josie knows it’s nonsensical, to feel like this, when Penelope has already shown she understands how things are with her family. But it’s different now, isn’t it? Now, Penelope isn’t just along for the ride and playing a part. Now, when Penelope sees Josie’s family, she sees a part of Josie’s life that she’ll be inviting into her own if things continue the way they are with one another. Right now, what she has with Penelope is her own; is it so bad that she’s just not quite ready to let everything else leak into it? That she wants some more time before she risks Penelope deciding that she doesn’t want Josie like this after all?

“I just don’t want to put you through another round with my dad again.” Josie says, “Not when we’re just working things out.”

Penelope looks like she might fight Josie on it, but then she nods, and she offers Josie a reassuring smile, “Yeah, no. I get it.” She leans in, kissing Josie sweetly, “The offer’s there, if you change your mind.”

Josie grins, “Thank you.” She chases Penelope’s lips for another kiss, resting their foreheads together after, “I’ll miss you, though.”

“Yeah?” Penelope looks pleased by the admission, a genuine smile tracing her lips now.

“Mmhmm.” Josie kisses her, feeling her smile against her lips.

Penelope’s hand finds the back of Josie’s neck as she deepens the kiss. Josie sighs happily into it, hands bunching in the collar of Penelope’s jacket as she pulls her closer in.

“Come home with me.” Penelope mutters out between them when they separate from a moment.

There’s a measure of need in her voice that tells Josie exactly what she’s asking in the demand, and Josie doesn’t need a moment to think before she’s happily agreeing, barely letting Penelope stop kissing her for long enough to order their ride.

The drive home feels like an eternity, with Penelope’s hand over Josie’s thigh and Josie pressed up against her side, her body almost crying with a need to get as close as possible to her. When they finally reach Penelope’s apartment, things move fast at first.

Penelope presses Josie up against the door as it closes behind them and her knee wedges between Josie’s legs as she kisses her until their lungs are begging for air. Josie pulls Penelope’s jacket off and her shirt follows moments later, forgotten to the floor as Josie’s lips brush along Penelope’s collarbone and she explores the skin she’d so desperately wanted to get at earlier in the night. 

“Are you sure?” Penelope breathes out, and despite the firm press of her body against Josie’s, her voice wavers with what Josie would think are nerves, if she weren’t convinced Penelope has never felt nervous about sex in her life.

Josie pulls away from Penelope’s chest, nodding before kissing her again. “Are you?” she asks, and she leans back to see Penelope’s answer, which is a firm, eager nod.

“Are you kidding me?” Penelope laughs, and she kisses Josie once more – softer, and deeper, before she takes Josie’s hand and pulls her up the stairs to the loft. They strip one another as they approach the bed – an eager mess of clumsy kisses and hands tugging off clothing. Josie has just gotten Penelope’s jeans off when Penelope guides her back to the bed, pushing on her shoulders and forcing Josie to sit down on the edge of the mattress. She kisses her hard, stepping between Josie’s legs and coaxing her to fall backwards, pressing her into the mattress as her tongue dips between Josie’s lips, emitting a soft whimper from her.

Penelope’s lips fall to Josie’s jaw, teeth nibbling at her neck, kisses slowly moving down, over her chest until eventually soft lips press a kiss to her stomach and warm fingers work at the button of her jeans. Josie moves to rest back on her elbows, watching as Penelope pulls the jeans down her legs, kissing the skin revealed to her as she goes. When she catches Penelope’s gaze, Josie’s breath hitches at the heavy look directed back at her; it’s more than the desire Josie used to be accustomed to with Penelope. That same want still swims in her eyes, but more than that is the raw emotion that makes all of this feel so different. It’s then that Josie realizes just how deep Penelope is in this, and that she’s seen this look of complete adoration from her before – at the time, Josie just hadn’t been ready to understand it. Now, she thinks she’ll never forget it.

Josie thinks she could suffocate on how heavy all of this feels – how much more vulnerable she feels under Penelope this time around. She’s never felt like this – never _wanted_ someone as much as she wants Penelope, and never felt as wanted as she does right now. 

Penelope must catch the moment of panic on Josie’s features, and she sits up, squeezing Josie’s knees, “Hey.” She prompts Josie to meet her gaze, “You okay?”

Josie’s cheeks flush with embarrassment, and she groans, falling onto her back as she covers her face, “Fuck, I’m sorry, I just–” she doesn’t know what to say without sounding like an absolute idiot.

Penelope sits up, leaning over Josie, her hands falling on either side of Josie’s head as she peers down at her, “Josie.” She pulls Josie’s hands from her face softly, and Josie wonders if she can feel the fast, heavy pulse at her wrists when she does so, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Josie says immediately, feeling guilty for the concern on Penelope’s features.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were about to tell me you’re a virgin.” Penelope teases, and Josie laughs, slapping at Penelope’s shoulder weakly.

“You’re an ass.”

Penelope smiles down at her, and it’s filled with so much fondness that that heavy feeling weighs on Josie’s chest again.

She sighs, attempting to put it to words, “It’s just… I want this.”

Penelope grins, tilting her head, “So do I.”

“No, I mean I– I’ve never had this. I’ve never _wanted_ someone like this.”

Penelope sobers, understanding what she’s getting at now, and she nods, dropping onto her elbows, her body resting over Josie’s. She brushes her fingers through Josie’s hair, her face is so close to Josie’s that she can see the shimmer in her eyes, a quiet smile tugging at her lips. “Josie.” She lets out a soft laugh, “Neither have I.”

Josie’s heart jumps, “Then why do you seem so much better at it than I am?”

“Oh, I’m not. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.” Penelope says, “But I think that’s okay. And I think… it’s okay, if it scares you.”

Josie traces her finger over the tattoo that curves over Penelope’s bare shoulder. “Does it scare you?”

“Yes.” Penelope says honestly, and she turns her head, pressing her lips to the top of Josie’s hand as it passes over her tattoo. “You fucking terrify me, Josie.”

Josie moves her hand to cup Penelope’s cheek, and she takes a moment to simply exist under Penelope’s green-eyed gaze, feeling the way her heart beats heavily in her chest; and she notes how – despite her fear – she feels safe. Protected, in a way that she’s never quite felt.

“I trust you.” Josie says, and she hopes Penelope knows how important that is to her; how few people have earned it. “And… you can trust me.”

Penelope’s smile is soft, and with her face held in Josie’s hands, she leans in to kiss her. This time, when it grows heated, Josie lets the heaviness of it all weigh down on her. She pulls Penelope closer and with every kiss to warm, tanned skin – every touch and every soft gasp or muttered name released between them – the weight feels lighter. In those moments, Josie thinks she’s the most honest version of herself that she’s ever been.

And there’s a word for what Josie’s feeling, but she’s not yet managed to place it where it belongs.

But she thinks – when she wakes up the next morning, her naked body wrapped up in Penelope’s and greeted by the soft crinkle of smiling green eyes – she could do this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured y'all deserved some fluff before the world comes crashing down. Thanks for being patient! All comments are mega appreciated.
> 
> Twitter: wrenhannos


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